Though we all worry about spoiling our child, rest assured that you cannot spoil your child with love. Love doesn’t spoil children. Love is imperative to a child’s healthy development, and it’s just not possible to love your child too much. They need caring adults to spend time with them, play with them, teach them, protect them, and enjoy life with them. It’s a parent’s job to provide love, safety and encouragement. The process of growing up provides children with lots of challenges.Try to listen openly and understand their situation and communicate honestly with them when they have difficulties and letdowns in their life. Set appropriate limits with your child and then adhere to them. Establishing limits with your child gives them a sense of safety and security. Sometimes parents do not set limits because they don’t want to fight with their children. They don’t want to cause bad feelings. They may beg a child to comply. Or they may make a rule and fail to enforce it. They may nag without ever enforcing the rules. None of these helps children. When your child fails to adhere or comply with the boundaries you’ve set for them, be firm yet kind in your response.

This lets them know that you’re serious about the rule but dedicated to helping and loving them. Bear in mind though that each child is different and what works for one child may not work for another. For example, one child may respond well to the direct approach of telling them a specific time to be home, where another child may need a gentle reminder that it’s now time to come home. Develop a firm but kind manner of making and enforcing your household’s rules and expectations. There’s no need to fear our children, and there should be no need to instill a sense of fear in our children in order to get them to comply.

For some reason in our culture, one of the best ways to create excitement and fun around an upcoming event is to go shopping. And when it comes to getting your son or daughter ready for kindergarten, it seems natural that there are going to have to be at least one or two fun outings to the mall to get ready for the big day.We tend to think of mom and daughter as the ones who will get a big kick out of shopping. But if you have a little boy who is a bit giddy about that first day at kindergarten, that shopping trip can turn the first day in school into the equivalent as the fall version of Christmas. That is because the one universal things kids love to do is spend their parent’s money and find ways to get things bought for them. And if the entire purpose of the trip is to buy things for the child, even if it is just clothes and school supplies, the fun of going to the store and making those choices adds to the electricity of the coming of that first day to go to school.

While it is up to mom and dad to keep some balance and common sense to this big shopping trip, it’s a nice time to include the kiddo so that he or she can have the fun of picking out the new things that will be needed the first day at kindergarten. While it might be tempting to go out and buy everything for the child and spring them on her the night before school, you can get so much more mileage in terms of excitement and anticipation about going to school by taking the child with you to pick out everything from that new dress to the color of the pencils and the type of backpack she will use.

This will be the first of many shopping trips in preparation for school and you will immediately be faced with many decisions when it comes to clothing. Naturally as a parent, you want practical clothes that are very durable and maybe a bit too big so the child can grow into them. Your child, however, may have very different opinions about what to buy. While you would not think that a five year old would have a sense of fashion, when you hit the stores you will find that there are a lot of designs built around popular children’s show characters that will draw your child’s attention.

It might be good to have a little talk with the child about spending limits and that mom or dad have the final say in what is bought. But be a bit flexible and let your child have some fun clothes. Not only will it help him or her fit in at school which helps with overcoming that sense of alienation and loneliness, it will create excitement and enthusiasm about going. Wouldn’t you far rather see your child spring out of bed full of excitement about going to that first day at kindergarten because she is going to be able to wear her new dress or he will get to show off his Spongebob backpack? Its not bribery if you are just using the purchase of things they already have to have to help them get more excited about going to school and to get them off on the right foot.

You can use the event of shopping to build anticipation for that first day by going on more than one trip. You can have mom go one day and get the clothes and then dad go out another and get the backpack. Additional trips might include and outing to get school supplies or even letting the little one go to the grocery store to have a say in what goes into lunch each day. The more they can participate, the more fun it will be and the more ownership your child will have over this exciting first day at school. And if that ownership translates into success, that is what everybody wants.

Even the best behaved toddler has an occasional temper tantrum. A tantrum can range from whining and crying to screaming, kicking, hitting, and breath holding. They’re equally common in boys and girls and usually occur from age 1 to age 3. Some children may experience regular tantrums, whereas for other children, tantrums may be rare. Some kids are more prone to throwing a temper tantrum than others.
Toddlers are trying to master the world and when they aren’t able to accomplish a task, they often use one of the only tools at their disposal for venting frustration – a tantrum. There are several basic causes of tantrums that are familiar to parents everywhere: The child is seeking attention or is tired, hungry, or uncomfortable. In addition, tantrums are often the result of children’s frustration with the world.Frustration is an unavoidable part of kids’ lives as they learn how people, objects, and their own bodies work

Tantrums are common during the second year of life, a time when children are acquiring language. Toddlers generally understand more than they can express. As language skills improve, tantrums tend to decrease. Keep off-limits objects out of sight and out of reach, which will make struggles less likely to develop over them. Distract your child. Take advantage of your little one’s short attention span by offering a replacement for the coveted object or beginning a new activity to replace the frustrating or forbidden one. And choose your battles: consider the request carefully when your child wants something. Is it outrageous? Maybe it isn’t. Accommodate when possible to avoid an outburst. Make sure your child isn’t acting up simply because he or she isn’t getting enough attention. To a child, negative attention (a parent’s response to a tantrum) is better than no attention at all. Try to establish a habit of catching your child being good (“time in”), which means rewarding your little one with attention and praise for positive behavior. This will teach them that acting appropriately makes mommy and daddy happy and proud, and they’ll be anxious to do it again and again

 

Children love to learn. In the first years of life, there really is no distinction between learning and play to a child and they get as much fun and joy from learning new things as they do from any game they play. So the years before kindergarten are a perfect time to use play time with you to begin their path toward conquering some basic principles that will be very helpful to them when they reach kindergarten.

Many children’s games and books focus on helping your little one learn colors, shapes and other basics that will be good to have a firm grasp of before they reach kindergarten.You can make a game of knowing the color names and you will be surprised how quick witted your child is and able to pick up not just the basic 5-10 colors but many nuances of color as well. The same is true of shapes. While a child may have trouble saying “octagon”, don’t underestimate their ability to learn the names of the various shapes of their toys and blocks.

You can use play and reading time to also help your preschool child get a good grasp of the alphabet, how the letters look and numbers and counting. These will all be excellent basic skills of kindergarten that will make the step into formal school easy and smooth for your child.In fact, it isn’t out line to expect that your preschooler could learn to sign her name and do some basic letter shaping exercises before she starts kindergarten. How great would it be for her not only to have these core skills and areas of knowledge well in hand before school starts but to be able to start with that much confidence that she is smart and ready for school? That kind of confidence translates into big time success for any student starting on a big new adventure.

Along with using play time in such a productive way, there are many studies that have shown without a doubt that reading to your child every day is one of the finest ways to get them ready for school. If you read stories to your little one and allow them to look over your shoulder, you will be surprised how many words they will learn to recognize just from that casual time of loving relaxation with mommy or daddy.

But reading is also one of the best ways to improve your child’s vocabulary and ability to speak clearly and expressively.Don’t be surprised if you find your child with books open early and often because you took the time to read to her even before she starts at kindergarten. And that love of learning is something that will stay with that child for the rest of her life. What a wonderful gift.

If your child loves to run and play as is very common in young children, you can use that to help them develop strong motor skills which will help in dozens of ways in school. Hand eye coordination not only will help your child do well in gym and playing sports, it will help in learning to write and many other related physical dexterity challenges that she will face in school. By looking at many of life’s simple pleasures that you enjoy in raising a preschooler as also opportunities to develop your child intellectually, physically and even socially in preparation for kindergarten, you are giving your baby wonderful skills, knowledge and abilities that will pay off big when kindergarten starts officially when she is five. And you will be thrilled to see her naturally step into the formal school world so well and begin to succeed because you took the time to get her ready well ahead of time.

The term ‘homeschooling’ basically refers to the process in which one or more children of not more than 2 families are instructed by parents or legal guardians, or a member of either household. The laws that define homeschooling vary from State to State. The legal requirements for establishing a homeschool also vary with the State.

For most children, the actual process of learning begins much before school. Many children already know their alphabets, the names of animals, colors and other more complicated stuff before they reach school. This is mostly due to the hard work of a member of the family who has taken the time to teach the child. Homeschooling is just a natural progression from here. Instead of sending their children to a public school, parents make their own curriculum and teach their children in ways that best suit the child. This is homeschooling, in its most simplistic form.

Before you decide to go in for homeschooling, there are certain important matters for consideration. First off, meet with parents of other homeschoolers. Find out the pros and cons of homeschooling. Then ask yourself why you would want to adopt this method. This is a very important aspect, as the success of the program depends on the clarity and sincerity of your purpose.

Next, it is time to consider the expenses of homeschooling. It may cost anywhere between a few hundred dollars to a few thousand every year. More importantly, you are also effectively shutting out any job opportunity for one of the parents. It is only obvious that one parent will have to stay at home full time to manage the homeschool. A home-based business however is a great alternative.Are you qualified to take on homeschooling for your children? Teaching is a continuation of your own learning process. With the advent of the internet, information is aplenty. There are various books and resources for those interested in homeschooling. Go through the various methods of homeschooling and choose one that is most suited to you. It helps if you know what kind of learning style your child has. Also, find out what your child feels about before you start.

Every state has its own laws regarding homeschooling.For instance, in North Carolina, you must first file a ‘Notice of Intent’ to start a home school. In this you have to mention if the school is a ‘Private church’ school or a ‘qualified non-public school’. The persons providing the education are required to have at least a high school diploma. You have to maintain an annual record of the child’s attendance and disease immunization. Every year, the child is required to undergo a standardized test. Each student attending the eleventh grade has to take a nationally standardized test. These are the requirements in North Carolina, but it is enough to give you a good idea of what homeschooling entails.

Homeschooling may seem like a lot of fun and freedom from the outside. However, things are seldom as simple as they seem.Homeschooling is a lot of added responsibility and hard work. But, if successful, it will forge a strong bond of love and respect between parent and child, while providing your child with the best form of education he needs.

 

Just like a snowflake or a fingerprint, every child is unique in their own special way. Every child has a unique way of feeling, thinking, and interacting with others. Some children are shy, while others are outgoing; some are active, while others are calm; some are fretful, while others are easy-going. As a loving and nurturing parent, it’s your job to encourage them to embrace their uniqueness and celebrate their individual qualities. 

Allow your child to express themselves through their interests. They may find a creative outlet in theatre, dancing or art, or they may be exceptionally talented in the sciences. Encourage them to embrace what they like to do, what interests them, and what makes them happy. Help them realize that they don’t need to worry about being ‘like everyone else.’

Teach your child to make positive choices, and praise them for good deeds, behaviors and positive traits they possess. Encourage them to become actively involved in their community, and introduce them to activities that promote a sense of cooperation and accomplishment. Be firm yet fair when handing down discipline for misdeeds or misbehaviors, and make certain the rules and consequences for breaking the rules are clearly defined. Show a cooperative, loving and united front with your spouse when it comes to discipline.

Accept and celebrate your child’s uniqueness. Remember that your child is an individual. Allow your child to have his or her own personal preferences and feelings, which may be different from your own.

And finally, encourage your child to be true to themselves by doing the same. Show your child how to make positive choices with the choices you make, and that nobody is perfect and you too make mistakes. Show your child that mistakes can be a great learning experience, and that they should not be ashamed or embarrassed about making them. 

I’ve often heard parents talking about how difficult it is to get their child(ren) to sit down for a project or to do homework. Back then, with just a toddler on my hands, and my only experience of homework being the one I did 25 years back, I simply couldn’t understand. Now, as my son juggles with “Integrated Primary Science” and “Communicative English” in school, I’m surprised at how much he learns everyday. One day, he came back from school saying he had to take 3 objects for demonstration on the concepts of “transparent, translucent and opaque”. Another day, he needed 5 fun facts on any planet ( he chose Saturn). While I truly enjoy doing these quick 5-minute projects with him, I wonder how he will react when these projects become bigger and take longer. You see – my son ( as most kids this age ) has severe problems sitting down to doing anything which needs him to think constantly on one topic for more than 300 seconds. We have spent endless days of school holidays – zipping from one game to another – Scrabble for 5 minutes, Monopoly for 10, book cricket for 3, UNO for 2, Colouring for 5 (you get the gist) – and still feeling bored  Then, finally, I decided to take matters into my hands and “prepare” him to learn to concentrate on any one topic for 15 minutes at a stretch. Our project was the “Atlas” ! We took a big world map which he has and I asked him to draw each continent, write down the names of the countries with their capitals along with places of interest. While I painstakingly drew each minute country in Africa, he took up “South America”. To his credit, he drew each country neatly, coloured them, labelled them and proudly added it to his “map” collection. But all this was done in exactly 7 minutes and he refused to sit down to another. There went my experiment down the drain. But, I’m a staunch follower of King Bruce and I plan to be at it till I succeed ! Do you think I will ?? Do you think my son will finally learn to sit in one place and work ?

Re-published with permission from the blog of ParentEdge, a bi-monthly parenting magazine that aims to expose parents to global trends in learning and partner with them in the intellectual enrichment of their children.