Parenting Styles – is Yours Right for Your Child?

Parenting styles - is yours right for your childEarly this year, Amy Chua, professor at Yale Law School, shot to fame – not for her legal prowess but because of a book she wrote. An excerpt of ‘Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother’ published in the Wall Street Journal, ignited a global debate on pSo, is there some merit in Chua’s way of thinking? Can we say that one style of parenting is superior to another? Do the results justify the means? And most importantly, what is right for your child?generation Chinese immigrant, advocates that the Chinese style she practiced setting high performance expectations and imposing a strict regimen totally devoid of distractions and social interactions – yielded better outcomes than the laissez faire Western style.arenting. Chua, a second

With increasing demands on the time of both parents and children, and with the world around us changing so quickly, parenting, in today’s fast-paced urban India, is a kin to an emotional roller coaster ride. It can be exciting and exhilarating one moment, but nerve wracking and even scary at other times. With rising disposable incomes, global exposure and increasing access to technology, the world in which Indian children are growing up today is so different from the one their parents grew up in.

As parents, are you equipped to deal with the future shock?

It’s true that children are not born with instruction manuals, but parents across the ages have devised their own methods, as you would surely have, to deal with their own. The method you fall back on to raise your children, or your parenting style, is often shaped by your own experiences with your parents, your cultural context and your family beliefs and values.

A well-researched subject, parenting styles can be broadly divided into four buckets – authoritarian, authoritative, permissive and neglectful. “Do as I say, no questions asked” is authoritarian, whereas, “Let us discuss why it is important for you to do this,” is authoritative. “If you don’t want to do it, don’t do it,” is permissive while, “I don’t really care whether or not you do it,” is neglectful.

Today’s fathers may perhaps recall that their own fathers’ styles were mostly authoritarian! Families with both parents working (who are also on guilt trips!) sometimes adopt the permissive style. In some grown-ups, permissive parenting is also a reaction to the methods adopted in raising them – “I had such a hard time in my childhood with no freedom at all. My daughter should be able to do what she wants.”

Chinese vs. Western Parenting Styles – Recent Brouhaha

“Here are some things my daughters, Sophia and Louisa, were never allowed to do: attend a sleepover, have a playdate, be in a school play, complain about not being in a school play, watch TV or play computer games, choose their own extracurricular activities, get any grade less than an A, not be the No. 1 student in every subject except gym and drama, play any instrument other than the piano or violin, not play the piano or violin,” says Amy Chua, author of ‘Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother’.

Different strokes for different folks – Parenting styles day-to-day

Our guess is that most parents would not have chosen a single parenting style as the response to all the four scenarios described earlier. That is because parenting styles are not cast in concrete – they are not water-tight compartments in which your children and you swim during the entire parenting journey! ParentEdge team’s own research and observations show that there are few parents in India who follow one style predominantly and consistently over time. And that is the way it should be for the following reasons:

The child’s temperament

Parenting is not a one-way street – the child’s own way of responding to people and events (temperament) inter plays with the parent’s style. Factors that indicate temperament are aspects of an individual’s personality that are innate –the ‘nature’ part of your child rather than the ‘nurture’! This explains why your daughter is a hyper-active extrovert, while your son a quiet introvert.

According to psychologists Dr. Stella Chess and Dr. Alexander Thomas, there are nine attributes that help identify a child’s temperament (see Box).We have added some pointers to fine tuning your parenting style to match the attribute of your child. According to research, temperament cannot be forcibly changed and so it is a good idea to work with your child’s temperament rather than try and change it through your style (which can be a frustrating experience).

Change your style as your child grows up

You should also consider adapting your style as your child grows up. For very young children, certain situations demand an authoritarian style as they may not appreciate reasoning and it may be impractical to launch discussions. As an example, your three-year-old is trying to push another child into the swimming pool’s deep end. What will work best is a yell, “Stop that! Now!” On the other hand, teenagers are prone to go through a rebellious phase and continuing an authoritarian style (even in selective situations) that has worked till then may not be a wise thing to do.

Between the ages of three and 18, a child goes through many significant changes physically, mentally and emotionally. A hyper-active toddler could grow into a calm and mature adolescent while quiet pre-schoolers could become a handful as they reach their pre-teens and teens. A clinging infant may blossom into a self-sufficient and confident teenager while a confident tween could grow up to become an insecure, approval-seeking adolescent. You never can predict what’s in store. So, it is really important to watch your children and observe the changes in their temperament as they reach different milestones in their journey to adulthood. Be sure you adapt your approach to be effective at all these different stages.

The sibling factor

We talked earlier of siblings with different temperaments – despite having common genes, differences between siblings are the rule, not the exception. As your children grow up, as parents, you can be often taken by surprise to discover how different each child is from the other. Understanding that each child is unique and figuring out what works best for each of them is an important aspect of parenting. Very often parents are guilty of not being sensitive to differences, and, even worse, drawing in appropriate comparisons. One has to be particularly careful while setting performance goals or benchmarks – academic or otherwise, and avoid force-fitting interests.

A style for an occasion

An authoritarian style may just be what the doctor ordered for a child who is constantly testing boundaries. It may also be occasionally useful to quell willful behaviour, especially in younger children, or when you want to send a stern message to correct an unacceptable behaviour in an adolescent. A permissive style may work perfectly fine with children who are mature, responsible and internally motivated, especially in late adolescent stages. On the other hand, it is fine to use an apparently ”neglectful” approach on certain occasions – for example, you want to get your child out of the habit of seeking approval constantly and teach him to make his own decisions – “I don’t care if it is this or that”- to push him to make his own decisions.

Re-published with permission from the blog of ParentEdge, a bi-monthly parenting magazine that aims to expose parents to global trends in learning and partner with them in the intellectual enrichment of their children.

 

Choosing the Right School for Your Child – A Check List

choosing the right school for your child

The choice of a school is one of the most important decisions that marks your child’s journey in formal education outside the home. Given the plethora of choices today, both for independent pre-schools and full-fledged schools, it is no wonder that the school search process has become a complex affair. ParentEdge aims to simplify this for you, through a structured approach that you can adopt by listing all aspects to be taken into consideration.We did this by drawing from our own experience and polling parents and high school children for their ‘two bits’.

Step 1: Factors to Consider

Reputation

Brands play a big role in our life, and it cannot be denied that a well-known school is very attractive. But, as discerning parents, you should dig deeper and try to understand what has made a school famous. Is it because it has been around for decades, or is it for specifics like sports facilities or results in board exams?“Parents know that they want to put their children in a ‘good’ school but their research should go beyond that and they should have clear-cut expectations. Then it will be easier to find the school that matches those expectations,” echoes Subodh Sankar, an IT Entrepreneur whose daughter is in Grade Six.With many schools having numerous branches within a city, it is particularly important to check the specifics of the branch that you are applying to. Parents have reported that there is huge variation in quality within the same ‘brand.’That said, if you are impressed with a school that has started recently, do research the background of the people behind the school, their philosophies and track record of living up to a promise. You should view a great website and other savvy marketing methods with caution and not be unduly influenced.

Distance from the School and Commute Time

Many parents, especially those with younger children, favour schools closer home. However,given that many schools have campuses that are far from the city, you may need to take a call depending on your child’s stamina levels, eating habits and temperament.

Curriculum

Along with the numerous State Boards, CBSE and ICSE schools, the last few years have seen many schools offering IGCSE and IB curricula. The January-February cover feature of ParentEdge carried an exhaustive analysis of what each of these curricula have to offer.Beyond weighing the pluses and minuses of various curricula, you should also check the quality and consistency of teaching (across different grades) and overall confidence level and performance of students from the school over time.

Affiliation to/Accreditation by a Board

While the school may follow a curriculum prescribed by a board,for parents with children in middle and high school, it may be important to ascertain the formal board affiliation, especially in the case of new schools. Do check with the management, for such details.Also check if the school is receiving aid of any kind from the government, or has been built on government-sanctioned land. These could influence the policies the school may frame in the future – given the provisions of the Right To Education(RTE) Act.With ‘international’ schools mushrooming everywhere, it is advisable that parents check if the schools that offer IB or IGCSEare duly accredited.

Focus on Academics

Do go beyond the Grade Ten/Twelve results of a school, and delve deep to find out what the students from the school have gone onto do. Also, find out what this focus translates to in terms of day to-day work – volume and nature of homework given, for example.The levels of rigour should match your expectations of the school’s role in academics.

Re-published with permission from the blog of ParentEdge, a bi-monthly parenting magazine that aims to expose parents to global trends in learning and partner with them in the intellectual enrichment of their children.

The value of a Liberal Arts education

As Indian parents, we value education- especially education that is focused and leads to a goal. Most of us have gone through traditional, focused education in India right from our high school days.  We do not understand what a Liberal Arts education is about- it confounds us!

Simply speaking, it is a system of education that believes that the journey is as important as the destination. It believes in creating well rounded individuals with skills that will help them manoeuvre their way around this complex world- the emphasis is on life skills than knowledge per se. A Liberal Arts education encourages students to step outside their comfort zone and study diverse subjects in order to expose them to new thinking and ideas that they can ponder upon, analyse and draw conclusions from.

When you are getting a Liberal Arts education (usually at the undergraduate level), you study a variety of subjects, an eclectic mix, so to speak, which seemingly have nothing to do with each other, but which will help shape you into a well rounded individual. A Liberal Arts education helps you think, analyse and form your own conclusions about subjects as varied as literature, philosophy, psychology, theatre, math and even sciences.

Liberal Arts education is originally supposed to have evolved in Europe where it slowly died down over centuries.  It has seen a revival in the United States with several Liberal Arts colleges and Universities specialising in a Liberal Arts education.   Most colleges offer a full-time, four-year course of study that leads to a Bachelor of Arts or Bachelor of Science degree.  The colleges that offer these programmes are almost always small- the student-teacher ratio is high, there is heavy student-teacher interaction in classrooms and the focus is on developing critical thinking skills which will help an individual make well-informed decisions as they move on to the workplace.

My daughter is in the US getting a Liberal Arts education at Tufts University. The University believes that the abilities to work in a team structure, verbally communicate with persons inside and outside an organisation, obtain and process information to make decisions and solve problems and most importantly the ability to plan, organise and prioritise work are what an employer looks for in an employee and that these abilities are embedded in a Liberal Arts education. To give you an idea, my daughter is doing International economics, Psychology, a writing seminar and an acting class in her first semester. She will work individually and in teams; she will study these subjects thoroughly, analyse and debate and write papers with which she can effectively communicate her ideas and thoughts; she will be exposed to information from diverse sources- she will learn to process all this information to form her own conclusions- she will do all this by planning and prioritising.

The students do just 15 hours of classroom study in a week- they are supposed to study 3 hours on their own for every hour of classroom study.  The emphasis is on learning and discovery- the teachers are available to help them at every stage of their learning process.  The students will eventually pick a major- my daughter is veering towards economics, international relations and/or journalism- she has time until the end of year two to decide; in the meantime, she will do an eclectic mix of subjects, some traditional, some new and learn wonderful and disturbing things about the world, which will prepare her to face the challenges when she sets foot into the workplace.

In these difficult times, one might think that a Liberal Arts education is a waste of time and money- when the going gets bad, one wants to revert back to the traditional. A parent might feel that a focused undergraduate degree might be of better help in the workplace.

As parents, we all look for a good ‘return on investment’.  College education has become very expensive- especially an undergraduate education in the US.  We would not want our children studying an eclectic mix of subjects that lead nowhere- while I was not such an advocate of a Liberal Arts education in the past, I am slowly understanding its value. I like the system which permits students to explore diverse options in the first two years and then veer towards something a little more focused in their final years of study so that they are not only well rounded as human beings but also equipped with the technical skills in their chosen area of study. This is precisely what a Liberal Arts education gives them and hopefully, it will be ample ‘return on investment’ as well.

It is perhaps time for colleges in India and Singapore to offer Liberal Arts programmes as part of their undergraduate degree programs.  Singapore (a very focused and disciplined city-state) is getting its first Liberal Arts college in 2013- the NUS-Yale Liberal Arts college. It is a big step for Singapore: the policy makers and the prospective users (students and parents) are hoping it will be a success.

And I am hoping my daughter’s Liberal Arts education in Tufts will prepare her to face the workplace not only in the US, but also anywhere else in the world where she might need to go.

Re-published with permission from the blog of ParentEdge, a bi-monthly parenting magazine that aims to expose parents to global trends in learning and partner with them in the intellectual enrichment of their children.

Teaching Children Reading Using Phonemic Awareness

While we were doing our usual snooping around the internet for something that would Make Living Fun for our readers, we happened upon Jim’s Children Learning Reading program. Jim and his wife Elena live in Canada and they have two children Raine and Ethan. Jim has successfully used the phonemic awareness approach to teach both his children to read, and that was the foundation with which he has researched and developed the Children Learning Reading program.

We contacted him and got a review copy and we loved what he has put together. It’s one of the very few early childhood education programs that focus on phonemic awareness. At Bril we believe that whole-word, multi-sensory and phonemic-awareness-based programs benefit babies, toddlers and children, because any positive stimulation of the brain in the early years helps in overall development and neural connections being formed. There is no ‘One correct way’, ever in life, as our brains learn because of and in spite of many stimuli. While many experts go crazy over ‘scientific’ aspects, we go by what we see- real results and based on how babies really learn. As we grow up, we tend to ignore the power of the intuitive right-brain which can recognize patterns and help us learn languages even without splitting the word into letters. In fact even highly successful language courses like Rosetta Stone leverage the natural way of learning languages using audio and visual stimulus even to teach adults.  The brain seldom functions the way ‘experts’ would like them to, because it’s much more powerful, and none of us fully understand it.

Learning to read is very similar to learning to speak and phonemic awareness is one such very effective way to teach children reading. So, while Jim’s program bashes the whole-word, right-brain approach completely, we believe children need a combination of different methods for optimum brain stimulation. You’ll be amazed at how children easily relate one method to the other in their own unique way and learn using their own strengths. Don’t forget that children use multiple intelligence to learn, so by providing audio (including musical), visual & kinesthetic stimuli, a loving environment for intra & interpersonal dialogue and blending techniques you can really help your children leverage their natural learning style.

So what is Phonemic awareness?

Phonemic awareness is a subset of phonological awareness (sound structure of language) in which listeners are able to hear, identify and manipulate phonemes, the smallest units of sound that can differentiate meaning. Separating the spoken word “cat” into three distinct phonemes, /k/, /ae/, and /t/, requires phonemic awareness.

The National Reading Panel has found that phonemic awareness improves children’s word reading and reading comprehension, as well as helping children learn to spell. Phonemic awareness is the basis for learning phonics.

At Bril we believe and know that early childhood education gives children a huge head start in life, as the period between 0-3 years is when a child’s brain is most receptive and children love to learn. They love to learn because there is no stigma attached to learning in the first few years. This window of opportunity is also great for parents to spend quality time with their children and have the pleasure of being their first teachers! The experience of spending time with your child and learning together surely Makes Living Fun!

Your Child Misses this GOLDEN Opportunity, if You Do Not Teach Your Child to Read at an early age.

The first several years of your child’s life are the most important for healthy brain development and growth. Critical aspects of a child’s brain are established well before they enter school, and it is the experiences during these sensitive periods of development that play a critical role in shaping the capacities of the brain.  Please see the graph below, which charts the synapse formation in a child’s brain at different ages.

children reading synapse formation image

As you can see, synapse formation for higher cognitive function peaks around 2 to 3 years of age. There is a direct link between a child’s academic performance and future success with positive early experiences and developing early reading skills.

Reading makes your child SMARTER, and the very act of reading can help children compensate for modest levels of cognitive ability!

So after going through Jim’s program, we believe that it is a high-quality early-childhood reading program that uses phonemic awareness and blending techniques to teach children. The program can be accessed by parents world-over in an instantly downloadable, simple, easy to follow digital (PDF and MP3) format.

Click here to visit the Children Learning Reading product website to learn more about this program and buy if you wish!

 

Disclaimer:

While Bril (Industrial Research Corporation) does thorough due diligence on all products prior to endorsement, Bril may not be held liable or responsible under any circumstance for all or any repercussion including but not limited to financial, emotional or other losses incurred due to purchase of the said product, results, customer support issues, failure to honour money-back guarantees etc. by the Vendor (Jim/ childrenlearningreading.com). Bril is not associated with Children Learning Reading or the creator of this program. No partnership exists between Jim/ Children Learning Reading and Bril.

The links in this post are affiliate links and Bril will earn a commission if a sale happens by clicking on the links in this post.

 

Natural Treatment Options for Infertility

You-should-speak-with-your-doctor-to-learn-more-about-the-things-that-you-need-to-do-in-order-to-improve-the-quality-of-your-partners-sperm

 

By Jayaram Rajaram

My team and I have been blogging about various parenting topics and pregnancy for a while, and while doing so we realized that there are many couples out there who are struggling to conceive. The worst part is many couples who are absolutely healthy and probably not even clinically infertile sometimes struggle to get pregnant. In many cases such couples are being advised to go in for IVF (In Vitro Fertilization) after other Assisted Reproductive Technology (ART) and allopathic medication which rely on chemical bombardment don’t show results. While IVF is an option, according to me, it should be the absolute last option for couples. IVF is not only painful sometimes, but is also emotionally and financially draining. Not for a moment do I say do not go in for IVF, but that should be your last resort, in my opinion. IVF also has side effects as you are messing with nature and the known side effects could range from drug reaction to ovarian hyper-stimulation syndrome to miscarriage to multiple-births.  All this said, I understand what an emotionally depressing phase not being able to conceive could be for couples. So, the final decision is of course yours- YOU KNOW BEST!

I have written this post, as it relates to my company Bril’s Niche (The Baby and Children niche) and is in-line with our (Bril’s) Mission,To Make Living Fun for people. I am an avid believer in natural and alternative treatments for any health issues because of a personal experience. When I was around 14 years-old I was diagnosed with a rare eye disorder called Keratoconus, a condition that distorts the cornea and vision as it progresses. When specs and contacts didn’t work, the western medical fraternity asked me to go under the knife, for a corneal transplant (surgery).  They said I had no other choice! If I had done that, there is a chance that I wouldn’t have been able to type this post. I chose to research my own natural treatments which included homoeopathy, eye exercises learnt at Aurobindo Ashram Pondichery, highly purified and energized water called tachyonized water and not getting stressed about my condition.  For so many years, touch wood, the situation has been under control and improved, because I didn’t succumb to the ‘scientific’ way of doing things. Do you now see why I believe that every person can do their own research to find a good natural treatment option for themselves, for any medical condition including fertility issues? It’s very important to understand your body first and do your own research rather than jumping to the ‘done thing’ according to your allopath’s suggestion.

Based on my personal experience of choosing natural medication over allopathic treatment for an unrelated medical condition and insight from our research on infertility treatments, we decided that we should give couples who are trying to conceive all or as many options available to them (in the form of a comprehensive list you will see below) so one of the methods will hopefully help them conceive naturally, deliver healthy babies and Make Living Fun. Before there is any confusion, let me clarify that I am not a medical practitioner and that there is no 100% guarantee to getting pregnant. Nobody can guarantee this (Even IVF is not a 100% guarantee), but what I wish to do here is to present as many natural alternatives as possible, that couples could research, choose from and try before resorting to IVF. I do not rubbish allopathic treatment, but hey, if it can happen naturally why not do as much reading as you can and try a few safe natural Chinese (herbs, acupuncture, acupressure), Ayurvedic, Homoeopathic remedies, vitamin supplements and make those simple lifestyle changes to see if you can have a baby naturally.

I believe that each one of the options listed below could work for somebody (I have personally gone through some of the over-hyped books just to be sure and found some very useful information that couples could use. No, there are no miracles or guarantees as some products claim!). My objective is to list all that I find and encourage people to share other natural treatments that have worked for them with me (in the comments section, which I may add to the main post later), so we could add to the list. You don’t have to do or buy all that is listed, but research and opt to pick up one or more of what you feel will really help you. Even if you don’t buy or try anything listed below, there are many free resources all over the internet that you should go through and implement (many free resources are also listed below):

It may be a good idea to bookmark this page for future reference as it has a lot of useful information that you could go through at leisure and keep revisiting while you research treatment options.

1. Homoeopathy:

Homoeopathy was born in Germany and today has a global following for all the right reasons. Homoeopathy works wonders for many fertility issues as it has the ability to cleanse and treat your body from the root on a like-cure-like principal. A wrong notion about homoeopathy is that it cures slowly, contrary to that belief, if your doctor identifies the underlying problem and administers the correct medicine; results can be seen very soon. Even if you are not infertile, homoeopathy has the ability to prepare your body for conception. Some couples who have opted for IVF also resort to homoeopathy to increase their chances of success.

In my opinion, Homoeopathy should definitely be a major part of your overall natural infertility treatment plan if you decide to go natural and give natural conception a serious try.

My homoeopathy doctor, Dr. Venkatraman is a great doctor based in Chennai- India. He is a highly qualified homoeopath with the added experience of working directly under a homoeopathy stalwart – the late Dr. Koppikar for several years.  Over the years, he has successfully treated several patients with diverse health issues, including fertility problems.

Dr. Venkatraman can be reached at drpvvmd@gmail.com  or you can call his clinic at 0091-44-24341301 / 0091-44-28174389. I do not know how regularly he checks his email but that is probably the best way to reach him. I just mention my doctor here as I have first-hand experience with him. There are many great homoeopaths around the world, and you could just find a great one in your city. Make sure you don’t get stuck with a highly commercial and useless homoeopath (as there are many of those types too!).

 

Click here for some free information about using homoeopathy to cure infertility

 

Warning: The important aspect of choosing a good homoeopathy doctor is to ensure that he / she is certified and doesn’t adulterate medicines with steroids. Good homoeopaths will ask you to buy medicines from authorized homoeopathy pharmacies or allow you to test medicines they give you in any independent drug testing laboratory.

 2.  Ayurveda

Ayurveda is the world’s oldest known medical science, which originated in India over 5,000 years ago. The main source of this ancient knowledge is the Vedas or the divine books of knowledge propounded by spiritual rishis (sages) in India.

Ayurveda is not simply a healthcare system, but a form of lifestyle adopted to maintain perfect balance and harmony within the human existence. According to Ayurveda, life represents a combination of the Atma (soul), Mana (mind), Indriyan (senses) and Sharira (body). It revolves around the five elements (Panchamahabhutas) that constitute an individual’s nature or Prakriti. This nature is determined by the vital balance of the three physical energies – Vata, Pitta and Kapha – and the three mental energies – Sattva, Rajas and Tamas.

With its Indian roots, Ayurveda commands great respect among millions of patients who have been treated for various health conditions using this ancient science. You may wish to research and try Ayurveda as an option during the course of your natural fertility treatment. Please note that you have to be careful in choosing a good Ayurveda doctor and ensure that the treatment doesn’t clash or contradict with other natural treatments you are adopting. Eg. Some Chinese treatments may ask you to avoid consumption of milk while trying to conceive, but Ayurveda encourages consumption of milk.

Jiva Ayurveda is one of the many Ayurveda clinics that treat infertility. Please click here to visit their site.

 

Ayurvedic Cure for Infertility- Free Article

 

Warning: Even with Ayurveda please ensure you go to a well-known, registered doctor to ensure he/she uses unadulterated medicines.

3. Natural Fertility Prescription

Swiss Natural Fertility specialist, Iva Keene is an internationally recognized naturopathic physician who specializes in fertility. Iva Keene has developed a unique and very effective program called the Natural Fertility Prescription (or Program). This program uses a holistic approach to treating infertility to help couples conceive through non-invasive, natural procedures ranging from ancient Ayurveda to Chinese medicine. Her course encompasses step-by-step fertility planning program, an 8-step conception plan, diet plan, yoga and other natural treatments that are doctor endorsed. What caught my eye here is that some medical Doctors like Dr. Mercola of mercola.com fame and Prof. Dr. Arendt Rainer. Professor of Cardiology, University of Zurich, Switzerland recommends this program. Iva Keene offers a 100% digital home-study fertility program in text (PDFs) and mp3 formats. In addition to the NFP (Natural Fertility Program) you can also buy phone consultations with Iva Keene if you wish to, from her online clinic.

 

Click here to visit Natural Fertility Prescription and get more information.

 

4.  Acupressure and Acupunture:

Acupressure and acupuncture are very effective ancient Asian techniques to apply pressure using hands or pierce special needles into healing       points on the body. Acupressure and acupuncture heal several ailments in the body by removing energy blockages in the body. Acupuncture and   acupressure can be used very effectively in your holistic natural infertility treatment process.

The following free resources will get you started till you find a qualified acupressure / acupuncture specialist in your city / area:

Click on the links below to read free articles about acupressure and acupuncture:

 

Treat Infertility through Acupressure

 

Acupresure for Fertility Video

 

Treat Infertility through Acupuncture

 

Tips on Using Acupuncture to Treat Infertility

 

Not related to acupressure or acupuncture Click here for some free tips to enhance male fertility   

Warning: Though the risks of acupressure and acupuncture are low, always go to certified specialists only. Also please ensure that you are not pregnant during an acupressure / acupuncture treatment, as it may lead to a miscarriage.

There are also some pretty interesting and very useful books on reversing fertility issues naturally. Some of the books listed here are over-hyped (Please don’t go by the hype alone) and you may find people calling them scams etc., but each one of the books has some information that could help somebody, and hence is listed here.  For many books, Amazon, Flipkart and direct purchase links are given below so you can click and purchase right away if you wish:

1. The Infertility Cure: The Ancient Chinese Wellness Program for Getting Pregnant and     Having Healthy Babies 

              by Dr. Randine A Lewis

 

Infertility affects one out of six couples today. Dr. Lewis presents a groundbreaking alternative approach to infertility, explaining how she used traditional Chinese medicine to treat her own infertility, successfully conceiving and giving birth to two children.

 

2.Making Babies: A Proven 3-Month Program for Maximum Fertility [Hardcover]

By Sami S. David and Sami S. David (Author) Jill Blakeway (Author)

 

MAKING BABIES offers a proven 3-month program designed to help any woman get pregnant. Fertility medicine today is all about aggressive surgical, chemical, and technological intervention, but Dr. David and Blakeway know a better way. Starting by identifying “fertility types,” they cover everything from recognizing the causes of fertility problems to making lifestyle choices that enhance fertility to trying surprising strategies such as taking cough medicine, decreasing doses of fertility drugs, or getting acupuncture along with IVF. MAKING BABIES is a must-have for every woman trying to conceive, whether naturally or through medical intervention. Dr. David and Blakeway are revolutionizing the fertility field, one baby at a time.

3.Taking Charge of Your Fertility, 10th Anniversary Edition: The Definitive Guide to Natural Birth Control, Pregnancy Achievement, and Reproductive Health [Paperback]

By Toni Weschler

Celebrating 10 years of helping hundreds of thousands of women achieve pregnancy, avoid pregnancy naturally, and gain better control of their health and lives, the 10th Anniversary Edition of the classic bestseller will include:

• New ‘Preface to the 10th Anniversary Edition”
• Updates on new fertility technologies
• Natural approaches to conception
• Updated Resources and Books

For any woman unhappy with her current method of birth control; demoralized by her quest to have a baby; or experiencing confusing symptoms in her cycle, this book provides answers to all these questions, plus amazing insights into a woman’s body. Weschler thoroughly explains the empowering Fertility Awareness Method, which in only a couple minutes a day allows a woman to:

• Enjoy highly effective, scientifically proven birth control without chemicals or devices
• Maximize her chances of conception or expedite fertility treatment by identifying impediments to conception
• Increase the likelihood of choosing the gender of her baby
• Gain control of her sexual and gynaecological health

4. Pregnancy Miracle

        By Lisa Olson

Holistic and ancient Chinese system for getting pregnant and having healthy children.

 

Click here to by the Pregnancy Miracle eBook

 

Best of Luck to You! Hope this post gets you closer to having your dream child soon and naturally.

About the Author:

Jayaram Rajaram is the Managing Partner of Bril and the Managing Director & Chief Dreamer of ELSA. Jayaram writes from his heart and from experience. He writes about varied topics ranging from parenting to leadership to entrepreneurship and more.

To get updates about Bril, parenting tips and Jayaram’s blog posts, become Bril’s fan on www.facebook.com/brilconnect

For more information on Bril and ELSA please visit

www.brilindia.com and www.brilart.com

 

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What is your kid watching?

Each decade brings out some revolutionary life changing technology. The nineties saw the cable T.V. boom shake the face of Indian society.  Brought up on a staple diet of Chitrahar and the Sunday movie, the plethora of programs beamed nonstop ensured that things were drastically changed for all of us. While the behenji-types wept buckets over the trials and travails of the various bahus, the more la-di-dah types oohed and aahed over The Sex and the City. Above all it was the kids that had it like never before. It was as if by magic a great Pandora’s Box full of goodies has been opened in front of them and they watched spell bound.

Have you ever noticed a child watching T.V.? The mouth falls slack; the glazed eyes are glued to the screen as their hands mindlessly operate. If you talk to them at this point of time, the best you’d get would be a guttural hmmm. It was this image of a hypnotized being that is scary. Bombarded by the unending and mindboggling variety, the kids just do not want to move away from the screen. It has many disadvantages. There is the damage to the eyes from the unblinking stare, usually in the dark room. What with the busy schedule, TV time usually cuts into the play time. This results in unhealthy couch potatoes with fat bodies and pimply skin. Last but not the least is the damage done to the tender minds by the software beamed out. A lot of stuff is not worthy of the eyes of an average kid. Even some of the news items are so gruesome that one shudders to think of the kids watching it. Leave alone the movies and serials, some of the so called ‘Kids’ programs have contents that should not be watched by children.

Rekha, a mother of nine year old absolutely forbids her child to see this cartoon about an excessively naughty child. “The pranks shown border on obscene and the children may get the message that it is ok to behave like the character,” she says.

Many kids’ program of foreign origin, depict a lifestyle very different from us. Repeated viewing of such a society may influence the tender and impressionable minds to adopt the same. It is not surprising to see kids aping the way of dressing, behaving and socializing of such programs.

Another wet ground is the advertisements. Viewers are bombarded with dazzling choices for everything imaginable under the sun. Invariably you will find kids putting parents under constant pressure demanding the advertised wares.

So what do the parents do? Get the cable connection off and move back to the Krishi Darshan – Chitrahar era? There is no cause for such a drastic change. The kids also get to see a lot more informative stuff that helps them learn. The horizons of the kids today are broadened by knowing more about things happening around the world. After all information is power. However, there is a lot parents can do to keep this problem in check. As the adage goes – a stitch in time saves nine.

Know

It is advisable that the parents find time to share air time with kids. This does not include superficial lolling in the same room, tapping on your laptop. Actually watch the show. As Shalu puts it, “I always have a lively discussion on the programs watched with my kids. I try to find out their favorites and make it a point to watch them.” this way you know what the kid is watching and may put a stop if it is something untoward. Discussing the programs may reveal the effect they are having on your child.

Place the TV in the common space. Kids having a set in their room is an absolute no-no. You can have an eye on what is being watched and the kids will also be vary of switching on to an inappropriate program for the fear of being caught.

Control

Set ground rules after an amiable discussion. Limit the TV watching time.  You don’t have to be a dragon about it, but keep to the limits strictly. Blank off objectionable channels. At the same time ensure that you do not watch an explicit movie while the kids are around.

Guide

Find out some good programs and encourage the kids to see it. Tune in to it when you are watching TV and they might develop a taste for it. There are many options that provide excellent viewing including serials, live competitions; art and craft shows etc. take time to run through the program guide. However, the tone should be –“Lets watch this, it looks interesting.” Rather than say-“You should watch this, it looks educational.” Kids are allergic to anything that is educational, knowledgeable, good-for-you etc. Avoid these words like the plague.

Keep the communication lines open with your kids. Make them understand the necessity of strict rules. Other parents may be able to add valuable information.

Alternatives

Do not leave the kids to entertain themselves at all times. Spend time with them in activities removed from the TV. Board games, cycling, creative activity like art, music or dance are some alternatives. The main point is that the children should not think that the TV is the only source of entertainment.

Re-published with permission from the blog of ParentEdge, a bi-monthly parenting magazine that aims to expose parents to global trends in learning and partner with them in the intellectual enrichment of their children.

Learn More, Study Less – Study Techniques

Learn More, Study Less using Holistic Study Techniques

We all know that our education system is archaic, flawed and is based on rote-based memorization. Students have to by-heart tons and tons of information and reproduce it during exams. Not only is blind memorization by repetition energy sapping for school and college students, it is an ineffective learning process. More often than not, blind memorization leads to lower grades and self-confidence. Even if a student manages to get better grades by memorizing, none of the concepts have been understood well and hence nothing sticks once the exam is over!

This young graduate called Scott Young has researched and proven that smart students (him included) don’t spend hours memorizing stuff, but subconsciously use techniques that work with the way the neurons in their brains learn concepts. In fact adults too have the right-brain visual ability to learn things faster like babies, but our schools and colleges curb that natural way of learning. Scott calls this the holistic approach to learning. Based on his personal experience and experience and results seen by thousands of students around the world he has devised a comprehensive study technique course called Learn More, Study Less. His complete video course, ebook and Ninja Edition (which comes with 2-months free of Learning on Steroids which offers weekly emails, learning forums and access to Scott if a student wants coaching or help) have already helped thousands of students across the world.

Scott’s course Learn More, Study Less and The Holistic Learning Strategy focusses on Constructs, Models and Highways from a theoretical perspective. Without getting too technical, a construct is defined as a set of tightly interlinked instructions in your brain, and if for example a person’s language construct is highly developed they will find learning languages much easier.  So, if constructs are the door to holistic learning, Models are the key. Models are smaller constructs which are portable. Models could be visualizations that help you start learning a concept and build a construct. Finally Highways link the constructs which are like buildings or a group of buildings in a city.  Highways are essential to link concepts and draw parallels, this is what makes you creative and think creatively as a result of the Holistic Learning Process in Learn More, Study Less.

Now that we have the theory in very basic terms behind us, how does Learn More, Study Less help students Learn More effectively and at a much faster pace to improve their grades and understanding of subjects? What is the process and what are the experiential tools and techniques that are addressed in this course?

1.       Acquiring Ideas

  • Speed Reading
  • Flow-Based Note Taking

2.      Linking Ideas

  • Metaphor
  • Visceralization (Visualization plus relating to ideas)
  • Diagraming

3.      Handling the Arbitrary

  • Linking
  • Pegging
  • Information Compression

4.      Extending Ideas

  • Practical Usage
  • Model Debugging
  • Project-Based Learning

At Bril we have gone through Scott’s ebook and strategies and believe that every high-school student, undergraduate college student, post graduate  college/university student or anybody who needs to learn effectively and much faster than what they are used to would really benefit from his program. We at Bril promote new concepts to Make Living Fun for people and this guy Scott has managed to finish a 4-year MIT course in 12 months, and we truly believe he can add immense value to students by helping them really learn, learn much faster, score better marks in exams and get deeper understanding of concepts.

Please Click Here to learn more and purchase Learn More, Study less Video Courses or just the eBook.

Please note that students / parents from world-over can buy this product after reading this post. While Bril does thorough due diligence on all products prior to endorsement, Bril may not be held liable or responsible for results, customer support issues, failure to honour money-back guarantees etc. by the Vendor (Scott Young) who Bril is not associated with.  No partnership exists between Scott Young and Bril.

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How do you choose books for a teenager?

If you thought it’s a wrench to choose clothes for a teenager, just wait till they’re bored of everything in your bookshelf.

The call for new books should actually set off alarm bells; but parents being parents, we get all excited.

“My child wants books”, I beamed, when mine was tired of her existing set of books, and had devoured her favourites a million times. At least. So I ordered in a dozen classics, bound in various shades of maroon rexine.

But of course, this wasn’t what she had in mind, and they gather dust, as we speak, in one corner of her bedroom, and I was left scratching my head.

The second time around, I got wise, and did my research on the internet, where, for some strange reason, every teenager is supposedly reading the Twilight series. Thankfully, before I clicked the ‘order’ button on Flipkart, I asked the daughter if she would like the complete set right away or would like to try one first.

She was appalled… Twilight, she told me with authority, was all about a handsome vampire. And while she had qualms watching him on television (the lead actor has some of my contemporaries drooling, let alone teenage girls!) she has ‘no interest whatsoever ploughing through that sort of book, thank you’.

“So, what is it you want to read”, I asked her. “Get some recommendations from your friends”, I suggested.I regretted it when she came back with a list ranging all the way from Philippa Gregory to Dostoyevsky (I couldn’t even spell the name right! And a teenager was reading it?) “Are they ‘suitable’”, I asked nicely.

“Of course, this is what my friends are reading”, she said.

So after looking at the list, long and hard, I ordered her Margeret Mitchell’s Gone with the Wind, Erich Segal’s Love Story and Georgette Heyer’s Grand Sophy. She was irritated I ignored her list; the husband was very upset with my list (‘what kind of books are these? Whatever happened to innocence?’ he asked me) I stood my ground, and asked her to get on with it. She did, with great reluctance at first, but once she got hooked, there was no parting her from the books.

All this is not to say that I was wise; but it’s to prove a couple of points –

  1. It’s almost impossible to decide books for somebody else, given how personal the choices are.
  2. And it’s harder still, when the person in question happens to be a teenager, not quite ready for full-blown adult fiction, but way too old for what the markets kindly call “young adult fiction”.

A happy middle ground, I have learnt from experience, is whatever you read at 16. Today, any 13 year old can read, understand and enjoy them. Because, believe me, times have changed.

Re-published with permission from the blog of ParentEdge, a bi-monthly parenting magazine that aims to expose parents to global trends in learning and partner with them in the intellectual enrichment of their children.

I Can’t Afford it!

By Jayaram Rajaram

As I am slowly getting over the fact that I won’t be able to watch Sachin Tendulkar take guard in an ODI anymore, I’m having a very strong bout of nostalgia and occasionally feel a sense of emptiness. I was one of those who never watched cricket- I watched Tendulkar. Anyway, this post is not about Sachin, but I started off with a few lines about him because his on and off-field behaviour and intact middle-class value system is something that I would love my child to grow up with. It’s not about being famous, but about the person your child grows up to be…….

Tracing back to 1989, I was 9 years old and hooked to tennis. I had been playing at Sadashivanagar Club in Bangalore since I was 7. My father had bought me white canvas shoes and a wooden tennis racket. This was the time when Bata had launched some ultra-cool Power shoes. They were called Power Ultimo and many of my tennis pals had bought them. When I saw those shoes I started feeling a little embarrassed with my uncool Bata canvas counterparts. One day I decided that these canvas shoes were just plain uncomfortable. Today I can tell you that more than being uncomfortable I just wanted to have what my friends had.  So, off I went to appa (I call my dad appa) and said I wanted a pair of Power Ultimo shoes! He looked at me and very convincingly and matter-of-factly said “I can’t afford it”.

At that age I had no idea what my father could afford or not, and my dad knew it didn’t matter. I went on to say how my friends had bought these shoes and how comfortable they were etc. etc. He heard me out and said “They can afford them. We will see later.” End of topic. Though I felt really upset that day, I did get my Power Ultimo shoes without asking again, before I played my first tournament. He never told me he was buying them for me and it was not an incentive (Parenting Tip: Never tie objects to achievements with children- delayed gratification + unconditional love works better).

Today when I walk in for important business meetings (Even abroad) wearing my Bata chappals, I thank my appa. It’s really not what I wear, but who I am- what a simple yet important and effective parenting action that was (I never feel embarrassed about what I wear anymore! I just dress like me, in a neat and presentable manner!). While I quote just one instance here, my parents never hesitated to tell my brother and me a white lie about ‘Not being able to afford something’. I’m not for a moment asking parents to keep lying to children. The message here is to keep it simple when you communicate to your child. If you don’t want to say ‘I can’t afford it’, say ‘can we save money for this and buy it later?’ Basically the important thing is not to encourage instant gratification as it will do more harm than good for your child.

Today with consumerism peaking I shudder to imagine how I am going to bring my son up, but without doubt I will be telling him that I can’t afford many of the super expensive things that  he is going to ask for along the way!

…….back to Sachin….his retirement from ODI just woke me up about how many years it has been since my father said ‘I can’t afford it’!

About the Author

Jayaram Rajaram is the Managing Partner of Bril and the Managing Director & Chief Dreamer of ELSA. Jayaram writes from his heart and from experience. He writes about varied topics ranging from parenting to leadership and entrepreneurship.

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Preparing Older Children about Pregnancy

Preparing Older Children about Pregnancy

You just found out you are pregnant, and the first thing that pops into your mind is, “How will I tell my children about this new addition?” You are certainly not the first or the last one that will struggle with how your child will receive this news.

While it may be exciting for your child now, it may be one of the tougher things that he or she will have to deal with and may mark the beginnings of sibling rivalry. For some, this may begin soon after the arrival of the second baby. Some children become aggressive and others withdraw into a shell during this time. So it becomes especially important how and when you deliver this news along with supporting your older children along the way.

First of all, it is important that your child hear about your pregnancy from you and not from someone else. No matter how old your child is, this piece of information should be introduced by you and can be a great opportunity to talk about where babies come from even if you are using the most simplistic explanation. You may choose to tell your child during the first trimester before others begin to exclaim about your changing figure.

Preparing Older Children about PregnancyIf your older child is sleeping between you and dad as in the case of many Indian families, it becomes important to address the sleeping situation well before your due date arrives. This is important so that your older child does not feel displaced by the baby. So if you have plans to move your child to a different room, begin right away. If your older child must begin preschool, then ensure that it does not coincide with the arrival of the new baby. You certainly do not want your older child to associate being thrust in the care of someone else with his new sibling’s arrival.

Get your older child involved by taking her to prenatal visits with your doctor. It may help your child feel involved in the pregnancy itself. Looking at pictures of your older child as a baby with him will also get him used to the idea that the new baby will not be his instant playmate. It is important that your child knows what to expect when your baby first arrives; that the baby will not able to do too much beyond eating and sleeping for the first month or so.

Visit the library and ask the librarian for suggestions of children’s books that deal specifically with introducing your older child to the idea of a new baby. These realistic stories will help your child see the new arrival more as an addition to your loving family than as a rival for his parents’ attention. In fact, give your child every opportunity to ask questions about any concerns she may have, allowing her to vent her feelings about your changing family.

Preparing Older Children about PregnancyAt this time, it is especially important to assure her that she can never be replaced and that the new baby is going to love her and look up to her more than anyone else. Assigning a protector kind of role to your older child is much better received than telling her that she is going to have someone to play with.

Finally, let your child participate in any preparations you are making towards readying the house for your new baby. Give her the choice of making decisions such as where she would like the crib to be placed along with where she would like the baby’s clothes and diapers to be stored, just make sure that you give her options that are acceptable to you. Soon your older child will come around to accepting the arrival of your new baby and will even look forward to it with eagerness.

Republished with permission from MothersDelight.com, No. 1 destination for Indian Mothers with information, articles, blogs and a vibrant community on Pregnancy and Parenting.