Top 5 Concerns of a New Mom

December 13, 2015 By: Bril

The first true test of the strength of the relationship between a man and a woman is parenthood. With the child, comes an enormous responsibility for which the young parents may or may not be ready. Many new parents are inexperienced in dealing with the demands of parenthood.

First and foremost, men should understand that, in the modern scenario, raising a family is a shared responsibility and not that of the mothers’ alone. In cases where support from one’s family is lacking, parenthood can quickly overwhelm most parents, especially the mothers.

With some careful planning and sharing of parental duties, it need not be so. One can turn adversity into strength with a bit of understanding and respect for each other’s emotional needs.

You will most certainly recall the struggles of raising a baby long after your child has grown and ceased to be dependent on you. The memories of a shared difficult past help nurture your future.

Here’s some much needed comfort for new mothers and tips to deal with some inevitable moments of parenthood when you are left to deal with those ‘what next?’ moments.

Is my child getting enough breastmilk?

One of the most sensitive topics going around and the one that stresses out the mothers the most. It is true that the child must be breastfed as the mother’s milk is the safest food a baby can have and it also helps boost the immune system. But worrying constantly based on what others around you are saying, can actually affect the milk production adversely. So as long as the baby is gaining weight, you have nothing to worry about.

Why does a baby throw up after breastfeeding?

Babies usually throw up after breastfeeding, but as long as it is infrequent and in small quantities, there is nothing to worry about. However, if the baby is not gaining weight or experiences pain and discomfort, consult your doctor immediately.

What position should the baby assume while sleeping?

It is highly recommended to make the baby sleep on her back or sideways using a firm mattress that does not shift easily. This will help minimize the risk of the baby suffocating.

What do we do when the baby cries non-stop?

Babies usually express their feeling through crying. They could be hungry, tired, sleepy or even sick. Rely on your knowledge of the baby’s behaviour to find out the reason for the wailing. If your usual methods of pacifying don’t work, consult your doctor.

When will the baby start sleeping during normal hours?

That’s a million dollar question every new sleep-deprived mother nursing her infant would love to know answers for. The answer is you will have to be just patient for her to grow up. The best a mother can do is synchronize her sleep with that of the baby’s!

Disclaimer

The aim of the article is to be informative in a general way. DO CONSULT your doctor and get your child examined at all times, without any exceptions.

Power Foods for Children- Staying Close to Mother Nature When Choosing Food Products

December 6, 2015 By: Bril

Parents constantly worry about the type of diet to adopt for their children. They want to know what diet is best for their kids – vegan, vegetarian, meat and poultry based diet or a combination of all of them. They are aware that a child’s physical and mental development is completely dependent on what their diet consists of during the formative years.

As a rule of thumb, food needs to be fresh and organically grown using natural manure and pesticides. The packaged food products need to be free of additives, chemicals and preservatives.

Let us look at the ill-effects of wrong diets and risks the unsafe food products pose to our health.

Fertilizers and Pesticides: Traces of chemicals such as lead and mercury in our food can interfere with physical and mental growth of children.
Food Adulteration: This patently fraudulent trade practice is punishable by law. A common example is adulteration of milk using urea, starch and formalin.
Preservatives and food colours: Additives and chemicals used to make packaged food items have a longer shelf life are harmful to health and so are the food colours.
Overeating: The rising economic prosperity is being matched by a corresponding rise in obesity. If not checked, obesity may lead to heart disease and type 2 diabetes.
Vitamin deficiency: Food deficient in essential vitamins can lead to night blindness and diseases such as scurvy and rickets.
Junk food: Fast food is high on calories but offers little nutritional value.
Other deficiencies: A protein or carbohydrate deficient diet is harmful to health.

So how do we choose the type of diet and stay away from the dangers disguised as food? The answer lies in going natural as Mother Nature has all the answers for our queries.

Let us what nutrients today’s children are deficient in and the ways to incorporate them in our daily diet. Also given below are some of the food items they are found in:

Calcium: Vital for developing bone mass. Found in cheese, soy milk and cereals.
Vitamin E: Good source for antioxidants. Found in spinach, nuts, and avocado.
Fiber: Lowers risk of heart disease and diabetes. Found in fruits, oatmeal, and lentils.
Potassium: Helps maintain blood pressure. Found in bananas, milk, and fish such as cod.
Iron: Important for brain development. Found in shrimp, chicken, and whole wheat bread.

In addition, it helps to explain to the children the benefits of following a balanced diet, avoiding junk food, eating moderately, exercising regularly, spending time outdoors and getting enough sleep at regular hours.

Disclaimer: Choosing what food to eat is a matter of personal choice. This article is written with the aim of providing general information. Please consult a dietitian or your doctor to get a professional opinion and to design a diet that is suitable for your child.

Raising an independent toddler

November 29, 2015 By: Bril

Towards independence

Independent children are those who are no longer found holding on to their mother’s skirt. They have moved away from the mother in order to learn about their environment and about themselves. Mothers can make this process less painful for both, themselves and the child, first by taking the initiative to teach the child to be independent, and then learning to manage the child remotely during the period.

In a cartoon on parenthood, the sight of a mother duck, still carrying her overgrown duckling on her back makes her friend remark “For heaven’s sake, Martha, he has to learn to swim some day!” That pretty much sums up the need for mothers to teach their child to be independent.

A thin line

Mothers need to strike a fine balance between teaching a child how to be independent but still have enough control over the child to be able to supervise and intervene when necessary. The parents have to walk a fine line and make a choice between being overprotective and letting go totally. Being overprotective can hinder a child’s development, while not exercising enough control over the child may result in children hurting themselves or others or damaging property.

How to raise an independent toddler

Here are a few useful tips to help you raise an independent toddler.

Take yourself out of the picture: Make your child follow you around the house and then hide yourself in some place. Call out to them from your hiding place before appearing before the child. This helps the child establish the connection between your voice and you. Even if they cannot see you, they know you are around to protect them.

Separate baby not the mother: The way to help your baby to develop a healthy sense of self is by making the baby to separate from the mother and not the mother from the baby.

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Newborn Care During Winters

November 22, 2015 By: Bril

Caring for babies

Those of you who are new parents will agree wholeheartedly that caring for babies is a daunting task in any season. Baby care is a specialized subject which requires 100% commitment from parents. If you have a support system consisting of doting grandparents, adoring aunts, fawning friends, dependable paediatricians and even the neighbour ladies who will drop in to care for the baby, you are one of those lucky people who will breeze through the initial months of baby care.

What next moments

All parents face those moments of uncertainty when the baby just won’t stop crying. You have tried all known remedies. After spending yet another sleepless night nursing your baby, you make a resolve that you are going to be more careful in the future. Truth is no matter how hard the parents try, babies will fall sick. But one can take certain precautions during all seasons of the year to see that the instances of illness are infrequent and discomfort to the baby is minimal.

Common Winter Illnesses

Winter does bring some respite from the humid and sultry months, but it also brings its own set of challenges. As the baby’s immune system is still developing, they tend to be vulnerable to common cold and other winter illnesses like flu, viral fever, meningitis, pneumonia and bronchiolitis. Ear infections are very common in winter, and your baby can cry for hours without anyone being the wiser about what is causing your infant the discomfort.

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Want a Peaceful World For Your Kids? Make Sure They Are Peaceful!

November 21, 2015 By: Bril

World Peace – One Kid at a Time, The Indian Way!

Over the years, we are living in a more and more divided world that is fraught with wars, terrorism and threats to humanity. If we are to bring back peace, mutual respect and tolerance, I feel we as parents must start digging deep into our Indian roots, while having a global mindset. The Mughals came in and caused mayhem in this land, followed by The British who caused severe economic and spiritual damage, while to a large extent even damaged the self-esteem of Indians. They left behind an education system, that got us jobs and helped us communicate in the English Language, but it was and is still an education that is devoid of self-awareness and introspection. In essence, most schools offer literacy programs and leave the real education and values bit to parents. We parents too being the victims of varying degrees of colonial hangover judge people and so-called education and science through a predominantly western lens.

The Indian Gurukul system’s foundation was that of self-awareness, introspection, dharma (righteous living) and the impact of ones actions and their equal and opposite reactions (Karma). This, with the essence of Sanatana Dharma’s intrinsic secularism that believes God is within every creature and there are multiple paths for human beings to realize him, have held India in good stead, because of its deep-rootedness on the home front (though severely diluted in urban settings post the British era). What is even better is that this Dharma believes in mutual respect and undoubtingly and affirmatively accepts that all religions when followed earnestly, peacefully and without harming fellow human beings help their followers understand the ultimate truth and find God within; irrespective of what they call this God / force / supernatural power / energy (Can there be any ideology more secular than this?). Yoga and meditation were an intrinsic part of the Indian education system but that too has fallen by the wayside over the last 6 decades in a career-oriented, competitive and marks based British education system.

Whether people would like to accept it or not, the very reason behind India’s secular fabric is because most Indians irrespective of their faith or religion believe in Dharma (At least to the extent of not harming fellow human beings) and Karma. These are more linked to Indian culture and way of life rather than being a purely religious practice, and hence has helped so many religions peacefully coexist and thrive. What is sad is that many schools, for the want of being ‘secular’ in a very warped sense, even today do not teach these topics through intellectual debate and experiential mechanisms like meditation and yoga. Enquiry and looking within is the foundation of a human being becoming self-aware. It is the most important aspect for people to experientially realize the oneness and interconnectedness of every person and creature on Earth and the Universe. Today many schools in the US and Europe have started adopting meditation and yoga into their curriculum, while Indians continue to debate about what is secular and what is not. Repeatedly neuro-science experiments prove the benefits of meditation and yoga on the physical, emotional, mental, intellectual and spiritual planes (Pancha Koshas) of a human being.

Just ask yourselves and introspect on the reason behind terrorism? It is lack of proper education and self-awareness. It is ideological differences of whose God is superior or wars between countries for the want of power and resources. Till we as parents and our schools do not embrace and communicate the importance of mutual respect from a Dharma perspective and experientially through yoga and meditation, it will become very difficult to prevent children and adults from getting brainwashed and radicalized by unscrupulous agenda driven individuals.

India with its rich heritage, diversity and culture is poised to show the way to the world. For this to be accelerated, the following quick corrective actions must be taken in our education system:

Introduce daily basic Yoga and Meditation in schools. This is the foundation for self-awareness and a human being becoming peace loving. Every Eastern Yogi and The Dalai Lama advocate this for world peace.
Have discussions and debate on mutual respect based on Dharma and righteous living (Age-appropriate lessons through stories and role-plays will help)
Teach the implications of free will and its consequences if misused from a Karma perspective (Age-appropriate lessons need to be developed). Karma in different forms is there in all religions, as it is a universal law (Eg. Whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap in the Bible).
Emphasis that God is One and people call him by different names rather than completely avoiding religion in so-called secular education. Clearly tell children at home irrespective of which religion one follows, that people who fight and kill in God’s name are bad and cause a lot of problems in the world. Debate whether God has form. Discuss why form is given to a formless God who is within all human beings, to help give an abstract concept a personality in Hinduism and some religions, so it is easier for people to relate to him/her. All discussions should be with an intent to unify rather than divide. Bring in yoga experts and spiritual leaders from all faiths who speak about oneness of all human beings, compassion and love. Respect should even be for people who do not believe in God- this mutual respect is part and parcel of a Dharmic way of life. There is no room for hate.
Address how pranayama and meditation helps one balance masculine and feminine energies in the human body. Link this with how boys must treat women with respect. Yoga and Meditation help reduce the degeneration of the pineal gland, reduce aggressive behaviour and overcome the Ego sense that is the root cause of most problems.
Celebrate all festivals in school with discussions on the basis of the festival from the religious texts. Discuss how the festival is celebrated in different parts of the country and world. Do this without rubbishing any rituals and age-old practices to prevent children from feeling insecure / inferior about his / her religion / practices. Always focus on celebrating life rather than trying to rationalize and preach by being holier than thou.
Emphasize the importance of treading the path of least harm and confrontation while nurturing a live and let live attitude.
Instil a sense of pride in being the citizen of a country that considers the whole world and all people and creatures as its family (Vasudaiva Kutumbam). Instil purpose to carry forward this message to the world and make it a better more peaceful place to live in.
Address cultural differences and sensitize children to be ready to embrace the world without prejudice and to respect the local culture and laws rather than imposing their beliefs or religion on the local population if they choose to live abroad, while being comfortable and proud of their roots and practicing their religion peacefully at home.

Jayaram Rajaram is the Managing Partner of Bril who writes from his heart on varied topics with a Mission to Make Living Fun for everyone. The broad areas he writes on include education, parenting, leadership and entrepreneurship.

www.brilindia.com | www.brilart.com

The contents of this post are the opinions of the author and written purely with the intent to unite people and the world. Nothing in this post is meant to hurt anybody’s religious sentiments.

Image Credits: http://dprojectz.deviantart.com/art/religious-Harmony-zocards-03-91437884

A no-panic guide to fever

November 15, 2015 By: Bril

What is fever

A fever is caused by a number of medical conditions ranging from viral, bacterial and parasitic infections. Fever is one of the medical signs, an objective indication of some medical fact or characteristic that may be detected by a physician. Fevers do not normally go beyond 410 C to 420 C (or 105.60 F to 107.60F).

A trying time

A condition like the fever in children is a real test of parents’ patience and parenting skills as younger the children the scarier it is for the parents. Fever makes children cranky and restless. Sleep eludes them and high fever causes children to whimper through the night, giving the parents some anxious moments. Parents sometimes blame themselves for not being careful enough.

How to deal with fever

Understand that falling sick is part of growing up and no matter how careful parents are, kids will fall sick at some stage. But it is important for parents not to panic. First check the temperature using a standard digital thermometer or a temporal artery scanner. Use a rectal thermometer for infants and young children.

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DIY activities for toddlers- Diwali Paper Lanterns

November 8, 2015 By: Bril

Tradesmen are busy people

You have been trying to get your dripping tap for weeks and your plumber has been playing truant, promising you all the time he is almost at your doorstep but some ‘urgent’ work has come up in the meantime. When the sound of the dripping tap and the thought of wasting all that precious water has fairly driven you up the wall, you decide enough is enough.

Do It Yourself

You turn to, you guessed it, Google, the go-to person for everything from how to fix a dripping tap in 5 easy steps to making a paper lantern for your child for Diwali. A helpful step-by-step procedure and an infographic listing the essential items to learn your new trade of plumbing and you are good to go. After a few trials and lots of errors, you finally manage to fix the leaky pipe. The satisfaction derived from taking on a challenge and doing it well, you realize, is immense.

Festival of Lights

Diwali is the most popular of all the festivals in India and signifies the victory of good over evil. It is a time to meet family and friends, exchange gifts and burst firecrackers. During Diwali, every house is lit up with traditional diyas, decorative lights and paper lanterns to signify the move away from darkness and towards light. So what does the concept of DIY have to do with the festival of lights?

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Kids’ Kitchen Korner: Learning from the Kitchen

November 1, 2015 By: Bril

A kitchen is a storehouse of our happiness. Not only does it contain the delights that satiate our sense of taste but also does well to bond us to our family through numerous memories of dining delights. Today we will use this happy storehouse as a creative place for our little monsters.

Sometimes all we must do is stretch our minds beyond the visible. Kitchen utensils sure can be used to teach how to cook and about cookware but can also be helpful in other ways. Below I am listing activities that will suit different age groups ranging from toddlers to 10!

MUSIC and EXPLORATION – (1 year to 4 years)

A year in kids will begin exploring one of their favorite environments – the kitchen. Ever wondered why kids love the kitchen cabinets so much? The strongest reason is that they connect YOU – The Mother/Father to the Kitchen. They observe you cooking, spending time there, and nurturing them with the food you cook in the kitchen. Plus, if they want to be around you, they will follow you into the kitchen!

The other reasons are: Variety of utensils – different sizes, shapes, different sounds when explored + the fact that utensils are ‘hidden’ behind the cabinet doors, gives a thrilling effect to the curious minds. This makes for great sensory exploration!

You may set up two days in a week to allow kid/s to explore kitchen utensils. Either you can have them come in and explore in their own manner or you can put out a set of utensils and give it to them to play with. Each week you can pick a different set of utensils. Great music can be made with different vessels. Explore with plastic measuring spoons, steel spoons, glasses, containers, serving spoons, cabinet doors, etc. In fact, you can also teach them about loud vs. soft sounds and difference in sounds created by contact of different materials.

HIDE-AND-SEEK UTENSILS (2 years to 5 years)

I must admit that I owe a lot of my creative ideas to my daughter. I learnt to be very creative with games and art since her birth. Until date I haven’t felt the need to look up a Pin-interest or to google games or art for kids. One such game which popped up is ‘Hide-and-Seek’ Utensils. Choose one cabinet to work with. Pick one utensil from that cabinet, show it to your toddler or pre-schooler. Tell the child to close eyes and count to 10. Hide it in the same cabinet at a different place, ask the toddler to find it.

Alternative: hide the utensil somewhere around the area where you are seated. Make sure it is easy for your toddler to find.

MATCHING GAME (2 years to 3 years)

Bring out a bunch of your kitchen utensils and identical / matching plastic utensils, maybe from your child’s toy kitchen. Keep her and your utensils at a good distance of 3-6 feet. Pick one of your utensil and raise it in the air. Ask your child to find the same kind from her section as soon as possible. This game can be more fun if the child gets a chance to run around. To do so, you could place your child’s utensils in another room.

SETTING THE DINING TABLE – (3 years to 8 years)

Kids enjoy setting the table from an early age. Once they are engaged and understand that it is a way to participate in family chores and bond more closely, they want to do it more. Give them a chance every weekend to set the table under your supervision. If you are concerned about glassware, you may inform them that you will need to hold alongside or you may let them arrange one mat with plastic ware.

X COOKING – (3 years to 10 years)

Involve children in cooking, small or big. It could be lemonade, chocolate shake, pasta, rice, or pancakes. Cooking teaches children several things:

They have the power to create something that nurtures family members
Promotes independence, creativity, and self-confidence
Helps bond with either or both parents
Develops skills in relevant areas
Provides opportunity for self-exploration and fun

Children can also be mere helpers. My daughter would peel onions and garlic for me from age 2 years 7 months. Even if she did just 3 pods, she learnt a lot and enjoyed it thoroughly! Kids can also pretend to cook in their utensils within your kitchen area while you cook. This makes a good role model for their learning.

ART – (4 years – 8 years)

Use utensils to teach tracing. Place any utensil like bowl, spoon on a plain paper and have your child trace it. Tracing is a great skill in art and promotes co-ordination of fine and gross motor movements with the eye and brain. For older kids, you can have them do ‘object drawing’ – place an object in front of them and have them copy it on paper. You can also get craftsy e.g. tape a plastic spoon on paper and allow child to decorate it with pompoms, glitter, fuzzy sticks, stickers, etc.

Teaching them that kitchenware can be used in ways more than one helps them broaden their minds and promotes problem-solving. I offer kitchen utensils to children to use with play-doh. Rolling pins for rolling, fork for designs, spoons and bowls for impressions, etc.

MATH with UTENSILS

Who said we need paper and pencil for math? Use the below ingredients indoors in large containers or outdoors on the grass, for fun play + math with measurements + motor skills: measuring spoons, container filled with rice, another container filled with beans or legumes, water is optional.

Ask questions like – how many scoops of this measuring cup will fill this glass with rice? Kids must conduct the activity and give the answer. Kids can learn to measure within scoop sizes e.g. how many of ½ tsp scoops we need to fill one Tbsp.

Although I focused this article on kitchen utensils, there are numerous other things in our kitchens that can be used as play and learning items for our children. Foils for making ball, throwing, foils for art, strainers as bats or for ball toss, plastic glasses to balance, etc. Challenge your mind to pick an item every week and use it to teach your child.

Re-published with permission from the blog of ParentEdge, a bi-monthly parenting magazine that aims to expose parents to global trends in learning and partner with them in the intellectual enrichment of their children. This blog was written by Rima Desai.

Rima’s has a Master’s Degree in Psychology from Mumbai, and is a certified Childcare Professional and Life Coach from USA. She has written numerous articles for parents and women in Tanzania, India, and in USA. Her work includes writing for airline magazines and editing internationally published books. She has extensive experience in training teachers and parents and working with children aged 2-7 years. Her parenting page can be accessed at Parenting Booth , and her personal blog here.

Tips for potty training in toddlers

November 1, 2015 By: Bril

The Parenthood

Being a parent for the first time is an experience one is unlikely to forget in a hurry. Raising a child, as parents soon find out, with sleeplessness and having to deal with illness, is a full-time job. Probably the concept 24×7 was coined by a young mother raising her child single-handedly. A young mother is easy to spot – she is that haggard looking individual, with dark circles under her eyes and who tends to doze off in the middle of a conversation.

A helping hand

If one is lucky enough, having one’s partner at hand to share some of the parental duties is a boon. Having one’s parents living with or even having them on a short visit is even better. Your mother knows how best to soothe a wailing infant, while your father will stay by your bedside to lend you the strength and extend moral support you so desperately seek.

A New Challenge

You heave a sigh of relief when the difficult initial months are over, only to be confronted by a new challenge – potty-training your child. This is the single most difficult challenge parents face with its potential to restrict your mobility and the need to clean-up often. The high cost of diapers and the anxiety to get your child to do what other children are already doing further weigh you down.

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Why the Japanese Children are So Well Behaved

October 11, 2015 By: Bril

Ever seen how a pre-primary class progresses in Japan or the recess time of a Japanese primary school? Even if you haven’t actually been there, there are plenty of video clips going around to show you that Japanese children are unusually well behaved and look like the parts of a well oiled machinery, not a single kid straying from whatever is in progress.

What makes Japanese kids so well behaved? (if “well behaved” is indeed the correct term).

A lot stems from the Japanese society and how it coped after the WW2. As an entire country, they had to rebuild their lives and as an offshoot of all the carnage that took place, they started laying stress on being able to live together happily and amicably. It is no wonder then, that children emulated their parents and a whole nation was built on the principals of building a social capital, where children seemed wise beyond their years and very well behaved.

Japanese discipline is more about practiced behavior than about discipline

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