Tips For Taking Your Children Shopping

May 12, 2014 By: Bril

Okay, so you want to go shopping but are dreading going because you will have to take the kids along too. For those that have been shopping at a store with children, you know that it can be a very stressful experience, especially if the children or child is young. If you plan ahead, you might just be okay.

Before you enter the store, you will want to set the rules. Make your rules nice and clear. You can tell them to “Stay close to me” or “No begging for anything”. If you are shopping for someone else, be sure to let your children know, so they don’t expect you to start shopping for them. For instance, if you are buying a toy for a birthday present for another child, let your child know this before you even begin shopping. Ask them to help pick out the gift.

If you’re in a giving mood, agree to buy them a reward for good behavior. You could also reward them by playing a game at home, watching a movie together, a trip to the park, cook one of their favorite meals, etc. If you think that your child might misbehave, this might be something you might want to try. It has been known to work for many moms and dads.

Depending on their age, you might want to pack a snack or treat for your child to eat while you are shopping. Some nutritious snacks might include raisins, nuts, grapes, sliced apples, nuts, granola bar, etc. Bringing a snack might also prevent them from asking for food while you are shopping.

Other ideas of items to bring with you could be a book for your child to look at or read. You could bring their favorite blanket or their favorite toy. A pencil and paper could also entertain them. The idea is not to go empty handed. Be prepared so your shopping trip is successful and you don’t end up turning around and going home.

If your child is hungry before you go shopping, make sure you feed them. This will prevent them from complaining about hunger pangs. If they are tired, have them take a nap beforehand, this will save a ton of stress. The best time to go is when your child has a full tummy and is well rested.

While you are shopping, you can play games with your child to make the trip fun. If you are shopping for food, you can play a game of who sees the bananas first. You can sing songs about what you are buying. You can talk about what is on the packaging. At the end of your shopping trip, let your child help give the checkout clerk the items you are buying. Kids love helping out. Just remember to keep them distracted from the candy isle unless you want to buy them some extra energy.

Image Source: [freedigitalphotos.net]

Taking Your Kids Out To Eat

May 12, 2014 By: Bril

When you have young children, taking them out to a restaurant can be a big task. It can be aggravating and embarrassing. When you have toddlers, they tend to wiggle around and want to climb under the table. The main cause of this is your child is getting bored or just wants to explore new surroundings. If you are debating on going out, look at your child’s current mood. Are they already acting up? If they are having a bad day or acting hyper, you might just want to cancel your plans and make dinner at home. If your children are older and they don’t want to go, don’t force them. If they are old enough to stay at home, let them. This will cause a more enjoyable experience and might just save you some money.

If you decide on going out to eat, bringing toys might just be a good idea. Some of the “kid friendly” restaurants will provide something for the children such as coloring sheets and crayons. The fast food chains usually have kid’s meals that come with a toy. If you are going to, say, a small non-chain restaurant, they might not provide anything, so going prepared might be a good idea. Some ideas of things to take are: books, dolls, action figures, coloring books, crayons, paper and hand held games. If you carry the games, make sure you can turn the volume off. You wouldn’t want to see other’s snicker at you for your kid making noises at the table with the game.

If you have a picky eater, have a backup plan. Make sure you bring snacks in your kid bag in case your child does not eat what is being served at the restaurant. Your goal should be to have an enjoyable experience. If you are going out to a popular restaurant, make sure to see if you can reserve a table. Waiting for a table, then waiting for your meal can bring the mood down and make your outing less enjoyable. Going out to eat should be a special event for your family. Make each outing special so that they look forward to going out to eat again.

Image Source: [freedigitalphotos.net]

Setting Rules And Limits With Your Four Year Old

May 12, 2014 By: Bril

Your child is no longer a baby or toddler; they are now on their way to learning self-discipline. This is an important part of your child’s life. Because your four year old has begun the journey to self-discipline, you are going to have to set some limits. When your child is four or near four they are at a stage of development where they are going to want their own independence. They are still wanting to be the baby but also wanting to be the big boy or girl. When creating limits with them, you will want to try to be creative. Remember to be firm so they know who the boss is but give them a little independence too.

When you say “no” to your child, stand your grounds. Keep the answer as no even if they beg. Be firm in your decisions. Remind them of the rules and correct behavior. Keep your rules reasonable. You will find your child will be much more likely to honor your rules if they are fair. Try not to always use the word no. Try to use a variety of words like don’t or please stop. You might also want to use the words no and don’t when you want to say no to whatever they are doing, permanently.

Having problems asking your child to do certain tasks? When you want your child to do something try to be simple in your requests. When they ask why, don’t go into a long explanation on why. You will want to be straight forward and simple with them. Your children will need you to be clear when giving them directions. A long explanation might just confuse them and make it harder for them to understand. You will also want to reward your child for good behavior. As your child grows older, give them more responsibilities. Let them know and feel trusted and give them genuine and generous doses of praise to help them feel loved and appreciated.

Image Source: [freedigitalphotos.net]

Are we growing children with low frustration tolerance?

May 9, 2014 By: Bril

I recently read a blog post on a young mother who prepares to send her child to pre-school for the first time. Amongst some of the things she does, she also practises walking with the child to school for a week before it actually begins! Most of her post waxed eloquent about how she has spent the past 2.5 years completely with her child, never leaving him alone, not even with grandparents, and how she was so concerned that nothing disturb his schedule of feed time and nap time, which is why she had put off sending him to school for this long as well.

She seemed a perfectly attentive and hands-on mother, yet the only thing I could think was “how stifling – both for the child and mother!”.

And the whole thing about not disturbing the child’s schedule—I look around me and see that more and more parents are increasingly fixated on not allowing anything to disturb their child’s routines. Theoretically this is a good practice – to have scheduled meal times, nap times, etc for children so that we can inculcate in them good and healthy habits and discipline. However, like any good practise, it needs to be flexible as well, to make adjustments for those days when parents need to stay out a bit longer or expect people for dinner, for errands that must be done.

There are a lot of parents who will reschedule and replan their whole lives to suit their children, but adhered to rigidly, I can’t help feeling that this is creating a breed of youngsters who cannot adapt and who have low frustration tolerance!

I see children who have a meltdown because they are out and their food is a few minutes late (I am not talking about babies or toddlers here, but slightly older children), who become extremely cranky because their bed time has been slightly delayed, who want things ‘Now’ and who hate to even go out anywhere where there is nothing special revolving around their interests.

What are we doing?!

Our children cannot adjust to change anymore, cannot adapt, and going out with them for a holiday or for a meal becomes a chore because we are scared of their reactions and their tantrums; so we cater to all their whims and let our lives be dictated by them. I would rather oblige my child than be dictated to by her.

I can’t help feeling that we need to loosen up a little and let children break rules once in a way – eat junk, sleep late, watch TV, stay out to play longer and delay dinner time by ten minutes. And watch them become more adaptable, more cheerful and less cranky, less prone to meltdowns at the least hint of change. Allowing them some latitude and expecting them to cope with change will teach them to take things in their stride, become more resilient in the face of change and learn to tolerate frustration.

Image Source: [freedigitalphotos.net]

Keeping An Eye On Your Kid’s Online Activities

May 7, 2014 By: Bril

Today, children are learning how to use computers and the internet. Many of the younger children love to watch funny videos online on websites such as You Tube. When they are at that age, you will have to show them how to use the computer. As they get older, they are going to require some sort of instruction on how to use the computer and internet.

The internet is not safe for little eyes. There are many websites that your kids could easily find that you don’t want them to see. They also might use some sort of chat software/website to chat with the wrong kind of people. There are many predators online that you will have to protect your child from. There is a good chance that without instruction, your child is going to come across some inappropriate content online. Now, not all children are going to be put in this situation, but is better to be safe than sorry.

To start out, you should be aware of what your children are doing online. You might want to create a set of bookmarks that they can visit so they don’t have to go out searching. If you know that your children have a project coming up on a certain topic, you might want to find them some websites, bookmark them and show them how to access those bookmarks. This could result in your children feeling some independence when using the computer to do research for their school project. Another option is installing special software on your computer that tracks the activity on your computer. This may be needed when your children are a little older and curious about things they shouldn’t be.

If your child is at an age where he/she uses the internet already, be sure to talk to them on a regular basis about what they are doing. Ask about their online friends and real names of those friends. A big problem is children signing up for social networking websites such as Myspace and Facebook. They get an account and pretend to be older than they really are. They then can be contacted by users all over the world. Children have been known to share too much information online and then be taken advantage of by predators.

Your children are going to want some privacy depending on their age. Try to keep a trusting and open relationship with them so they don’t have to try to hide anything from you. Keeping your children safe online is very important. Be sure to keep your computer safe from viruses too. Having a virus on your computer could result in unwanted ads being shown on your computer screen.

Image source: [google.co.in]

Help Your Toddler Share

May 7, 2014 By: Bril

Raising a toddler can be tough and challenging at times. If you have a toddler, I am sure you have heard the phrase “That’s mine”, quite often. Your toddler is not out of the normal, this is just a part of growing up. Even the most reasonable and well behaved toddlers will not want to share certain things of theirs.

Don’t be embarrassed when your friends come over with their children and your child doesn’t want to share. I am sure they have dealt with the same situation with their children more than once. Don’t blame yourself either for your child’s behavior. Simply take comfort with the fact that this is a part of your toddler’s development and they are on their way to growing up and moving to the next stage of life.

While this might be stressful to you, there are a few tips to help you with the situation:

Use The Distraction Method – With this method, you will distract your child with another toy. Or you can ask your child to come do something with you. You could ask them to help you clean something, play outside, etc., without making a big deal about sharing their toy.

Use The Walk Away Method – If your child is playing with someone else’s toy and refuses to give it up, pick up your child and walk away. This might cause your child to act out, but explain to them that the toy is not theirs. Take your child to a quiet corner and let them calm down. Explain to them that the toy is important to the other child, just like they have things that they don’t like sharing.

Use The Nip It In The Bud Method – When you have toddlers playing together, be sure to keep an eye and an ear out. As soon as you see or hear a bad situation about to happen, get in between them and break it up. Show your child something else they can do or play with to distract them. This will save some tears for your child before it happens. This is also something you will want to do if your child is playing nicely and the other child is picking on your little one. The last thing you want is two upset children.

If your child is playing nicely and another child is trying to take her things then distract that child. Find something similar or a close replacement to what your child has and offer it to them. Tell them how great it is, of course, but don’t overdo it or you’ll have two toddlers fighting over this new toy.
As your toddler grows, it will also grow out of this stage. This is when your child most likely won’t mind sharing and will enjoy the company of another child. Always be up front with your child and let him / her know what is going on. Let your kid know what is right and wrong. Distraction can be a big help when raising a toddler.

Image Source: [google.co.in]

Help For the Temper Tantrums

May 7, 2014 By: Bril

For those of you that have raised children you know that times can be tough when it comes to raising a toddler. Toddlers are full of energy and emotions. Dealing with toddlers can be tough especially when you are in public and your little one starts to throw a tantrum. A tantrum is not the sign of having a bad kid, but a way that they cope with their feelings and emotions. The best thing to do in this situation is to try to calm down your child before it gets out of hand. There are a few ways to help your toddler when he or she is acting up. Remember, this is an important stage of their life and they need you to help them learn to grow.

One of the first things you might do when a tantrum starts to arise is to ignore their behaviour. Sometimes ignoring them may seem impossible, especially if you are not at home. This seems to be a very effective way to stop these toddlers in their tracks. If you are at home, leave the room or move to another room. Your child will then see that what he / she is doing is not working and may stop. If your child is one that has a habit of breaking things or trying to inflict hurt on itself, be sure to keep an eye but do not let the child know you are watching. You will want to make sure your child is safe as it goes through this. If ignoring the problem doesn’t work you can try talking to the little one and explain how you feel about the way he /she is acting. You may think it is silly expressing your feelings to a toddler but it will help them express their feelings to you later in time.

You might also try to imitate your child. This could cause the tantrum to stop or it could make it worse. Doing this has been effective in distracting children enough to stop the tantrum in its tracks. If they throw themselves on the floor, do the same. They might just stop their tantrum and start laughing at you. They might think what you are doing looks silly and they may just stop doing it.

If your child acts up in a public place, be quick and try to take him / her to some place quiet. Tantrums can be very stressful in public and also can be embarrassing to some. Try to stay calm and let your child know that you are not ok with what is happening. Let your child know if he / she continue to act this way in front of everyone that certain privileges will be taken away. If the tantrum does not stop, it may be best just to take your child home and let them get the rest they need. It is okay to feel embarrassed or mad. Try different methods with your child and see which one works best. Remember that they are only a toddler once and they will eventually grow out of this stage.

Image Source: [google.co.in]

Fun With Fingerpaint

May 7, 2014 By: Bril

When my child was a toddler, I remember her spending some of the most satisfying time with finger painting. It was the one time, when she would sit still for more than 40 seconds. And what’s more, she didn’t need me to be there for those few minutes at all.

Finger painting has been around for centuries, but its developmental effects on young children and toddlers were discovered only later. Without getting into too much detail about the research itself, I’ve found out a lot about how finger painting can benefit children right from the age of one. Today at ten years old, my daughter still finds self expression through painting.

Here are some of the most important benefits of finger painting that will give you every excuse to start your child on it.

The best thing about finger painting is the fact that the whole focus is on enjoying the process father than the end product, an important life lesson in itself.
Preschoolers learn about the world through their five senses of taste, smell, touch, hearing and sight. Finger painting allows them to use all five senses (provided you are using edible finger paint)
It promotes creativity, imagination and self expression.
It gives lots of opportunity to young tots to practice their hand eye coordination.
Older tots learn about color mixing and exploration.
It promotes sensory development.
Sometimes children express their emotions through painting.
Finger painting is easy for toddlers who can’t wield a brush or a crayon.
It makes a great activity for a bunch of toddlers painting simultaneously.
The art work can be displayed for years to come, remind you and the child of the happy time spent together.
The messier it is the more fun!

Making Edible Finger Paint at Home

I could never quite trust store bought paint for the fear of toxins and chemicals. There is a simple recipe I use for making edible finger paint at home.

Yellow: Mix turmeric in one cup of water and boil it till it reduces in half of its quantity. Add sugar to taste and store in an airtight container.

Red: Peel a beet and cut into small pieces. Add 100 mils water to it and pressure cook it till the beet is tender. Once done, strain the colored water and mix in the sugar! And Viola edible red finger paint.

Green: Quite similar to the recipe above, all you need is some spinach leaves pressure cooked in very little water. Once done, strain the water in a container and store it in fridge.

Image Source: [google.co.in]

Teach your Child to be Thankful

April 22, 2014 By: Bril

In today’s world, one thing that is most difficult to be found is ‘satisfaction’. We human beings never think, feel or say that what we have is quite a bit. Rather we fail to enjoy what we have, in search of what we don’t have. It is good to be ambitious and aspiring. But at the same time, if we fail to see what we have got and focus only on the glass that is half empty, then we would never be able to taste ‘happiness’.

How many times in a day do we actually thank the Almighty for what He has given us? Do we ever thank Him for the simplest things which we take for granted like getting a parking place easily, getting a green signal at the road which is generally jammed, for getting ample supply of water, for electricity without which our urban life would come to a standstill, for getting the hot delicious food on the table every day, for the light and warmth of the sun, and so on….The list is endless, if we actually open our eyes to see the same.

We seem to be so occupied and stressed in focusing on what we don’t possess, that we fail to derive pleasures in the simplest things, the absence of which would make our life miserable.

This attitude of ours reflects in our children, because they have more or less the same vision as ours. We teach our children how to look at the world, knowingly or unknowingly.

Quite often our children crib and complain about the toys that they don’t have, about their dress that is less trendy than their friend’s dress, about the luxury car that their neighbour’s son drives, in front of their so-called ‘ordinary’ one. For them too, the list is endless and we as parents, feel that inspite of doing so much, we cannot satisfy them. It is because we never imbibed in them, the magic of gratitude. Teach them to be thankful for everything that they have or are getting in their life. But before doing so, remember the old saying, ‘Practice before you preach’, and see the enchantment in your and your children’s life. They will always be thankful to you for the rest of their life…..

Re-published with permission from the blog of ParentEdge, a bi-monthly parenting magazine that aims to expose parents to global trends in learning and partner with them in the intellectual enrichment of their children. This blog was written by Raina Bajaj, who has worked in the education sector for many years now. Working with children in their formative years has given her insight into in understanding children’s needs, aspirations, desires and psychology.

Image courtesy: Google Images

Daily Chores Help Children Learn To Share Household Work And Take Up Responsibilities

April 17, 2014 By: Bril

If you want to teach the right behavior to your children as part of your behavior management plan, you must identify and ensure that your children have some chores to do on a regular basis. This is because chores make children understand that they need to share the household work as a member of the family along with others. Making your children carry out some specific chores every day is also helpful in teaching them the importance of taking up responsibilities.
Children who do their daily chores with a lot of discipline learn as to how they can become responsible adults. Most adults are required to do several chores on a day to day basis in order to take care of the responsibilities they have. It is, therefore absolutely essential that children learn to do some of the chores at a young age so that they will not experience any difficulties when they have to take up more responsibilities as they grow up and become adults. Actually, children as old as 4 years can be given daily chores to do and you can add on more complex chores as and when grow older.
Chores That Can Be Given To Preschoolers
If you have preschool children, you can always give them simple chores that require them to pick up and keep things back in their respective places after they finish using them. To give you an example, the chores that you ask your preschool children to do include picking up toys and keeping them back in their proper places after their playtime each and every day. Preschoolers can also start to learn as to how they can pick up their room so that it remains tidy and how to put the dishes away after they finish eating a meal. If you teach as well as show them how to do these chores, they will learn to take up the responsibility for the messes that they themselves create.
It has been observed that young children respond better if you make use of a sticker chart to help them remember to do the daily chores that they are expected to do. This is because preschoolers generally would not have developed the capability to read. Therefore, it is a better idea to use a chart with pictures stuck on it to remind them about chores they are supposed to do. As and when they complete a chore, you can present a sticker to your child. Young children can be motivated to do their chores by giving stickers as incentives. However, you may have to provide better rewards in order to motivate older children to do their chores.
Chores That Can Be Give To School-going Children
As children grow up and start going to school, the complexity of the chores that they have to do need to increase and they should be trained to take up more responsibilities as well. The children of school-going age should be encouraged to continue doing the chore of keeping things back in their proper places as they were trained to do as preschoolers. This concept is best explained with the help of an example. You can teach your children to keep their backpacks and shoes at the places allotted for keeping them when they return home from their schools.
You can give new or additional chores your children who have already started going to school. For example, you can ask them to take care of one of the pets that you have at home. It is a great way to train them to take up more responsibilities.
As you start giving your children more complex chores to do, it is absolutely important on your part to teach and equip them to effectively complete their jobs. As an example, if you expect your child to put away his/her clothes, you should tell him/her as to where the clothes have to be kept. Moreover, you should also discuss with them as to what your expectations are so that they can do the job well. Finally, you should remember to praise them whenever they put in the effort and encourage them to continue to do the chore. However, you must never expect them to be perfect in doing their daily chores.