Children always seem to find a way to ‘push our buttons’ at times and really try our patience. It’s easy to feel irritated, sad, angry, annoyed, confused and hurt. It’s at these times when our parenting skills are really tested, and that it’s imperative we maintain a kind but firm stance when it comes to doling out the discipline. And let’s face it – none of us ever want to hurt our child with physical or verbal abuse. We want to teach our child that such things are wrong, and punishing a misdeed or inappropriate action by yelling or hitting is hypocritical at best.

Our goal when disciplining our children is to teach them to be responsible, cooperative, kind and respectful. The best way to teach this is to always remain consistent, follow through with the same punishment for the same misdeed, and to discuss the discipline with your child openly and honestly afterwards.

Always keep in mind that the age, maturity level, and temperament of your child should always be considered when enforcing a set disciplinary action. Disciplinary actions should be discussed and understood in advance so that children know what they have coming when they’ve misbehaved and can give pause and hopefully choose an appropriate route to avoid it. And most importantly, remember that it’s not the child you dislike; it’s his or her chosen behavior, action or misdeed. If you need to, give yourself a brief ‘time out’ before responding with appropriate discipline. Sometimes we need a short cooling off period before dealing with our children’s misdeeds in order to avoid a misdeed of our own. Yelling and hitting should never be an option. Keep an open mind as a parent, and be willing to learn with and from your child. We all make mistakes and it’s important to realize that not every form of discipline works with every child. Children are just as unique as adults are, and forms of discipline should be tailored to fit the individual needs of both parent and child. But with a little forethought, patience, firmness, love and understanding, the discipline can have a positive outcome for all involved.

Everyone makes mistakes. Granted, some mistakes are more significant than others and harder to get over, but they are a part of life. How individuals deal with those mistakes is significant to their self-esteem. Children who are taught from an early age to admit to their mistakes understand that it’s not a crime to make one, and they seem to have the ability to cope much better with them. They recognize that a mistake was made and admit the error. Most importantly, these children also develop a strategy to change the mistake and not do the same thing again.

The process of making and learning from mistakes is an extremely valuable life skill for everyone because learning involves risking. Every time children risk, they will not always succeed. But they tried something new and most likely learned from it as a result. Children with low self-esteem deal with making a mistake quite differently. More often than not, these children use the experience to devalue themselves. Instead of looking at the error as an opportunity to learn, these children interpret the experience as a reason to quit and never try again. They view it as a devaluing and humiliating experience. You can help your child cope with mistakes by first making sure they understand that everyone makes mistakes, even you.

Own up to your own mistakes to teach them there’s no shame in making them. Make sure they understand that it’s okay to make mistakes. This presents a great opportunity to tell your child what you’ve learned to do differently the next time. Then, offer strategies to turn mistakes into learning opportunities. In the process, you can provide your child with an opportunity to enhance their self-esteem and accept responsibility for the mistakes they make. Help your child to realize that the mistake is the problem, and not them. Then help them develop a positive plan for the next time around, and what they’ll do differently the next time to avoid making the same mistake again.

Though we all worry about spoiling our child, rest assured that you cannot spoil your child with love. Love doesn’t spoil children. Love is imperative to a child’s healthy development, and it’s just not possible to love your child too much. They need caring adults to spend time with them, play with them, teach them, protect them, and enjoy life with them. It’s a parent’s job to provide love, safety and encouragement. The process of growing up provides children with lots of challenges.Try to listen openly and understand their situation and communicate honestly with them when they have difficulties and letdowns in their life. Set appropriate limits with your child and then adhere to them. Establishing limits with your child gives them a sense of safety and security. Sometimes parents do not set limits because they don’t want to fight with their children. They don’t want to cause bad feelings. They may beg a child to comply. Or they may make a rule and fail to enforce it. They may nag without ever enforcing the rules. None of these helps children. When your child fails to adhere or comply with the boundaries you’ve set for them, be firm yet kind in your response.

This lets them know that you’re serious about the rule but dedicated to helping and loving them. Bear in mind though that each child is different and what works for one child may not work for another. For example, one child may respond well to the direct approach of telling them a specific time to be home, where another child may need a gentle reminder that it’s now time to come home. Develop a firm but kind manner of making and enforcing your household’s rules and expectations. There’s no need to fear our children, and there should be no need to instill a sense of fear in our children in order to get them to comply.

For some reason in our culture, one of the best ways to create excitement and fun around an upcoming event is to go shopping. And when it comes to getting your son or daughter ready for kindergarten, it seems natural that there are going to have to be at least one or two fun outings to the mall to get ready for the big day.We tend to think of mom and daughter as the ones who will get a big kick out of shopping. But if you have a little boy who is a bit giddy about that first day at kindergarten, that shopping trip can turn the first day in school into the equivalent as the fall version of Christmas. That is because the one universal things kids love to do is spend their parent’s money and find ways to get things bought for them. And if the entire purpose of the trip is to buy things for the child, even if it is just clothes and school supplies, the fun of going to the store and making those choices adds to the electricity of the coming of that first day to go to school.

While it is up to mom and dad to keep some balance and common sense to this big shopping trip, it’s a nice time to include the kiddo so that he or she can have the fun of picking out the new things that will be needed the first day at kindergarten. While it might be tempting to go out and buy everything for the child and spring them on her the night before school, you can get so much more mileage in terms of excitement and anticipation about going to school by taking the child with you to pick out everything from that new dress to the color of the pencils and the type of backpack she will use.

This will be the first of many shopping trips in preparation for school and you will immediately be faced with many decisions when it comes to clothing. Naturally as a parent, you want practical clothes that are very durable and maybe a bit too big so the child can grow into them. Your child, however, may have very different opinions about what to buy. While you would not think that a five year old would have a sense of fashion, when you hit the stores you will find that there are a lot of designs built around popular children’s show characters that will draw your child’s attention.

It might be good to have a little talk with the child about spending limits and that mom or dad have the final say in what is bought. But be a bit flexible and let your child have some fun clothes. Not only will it help him or her fit in at school which helps with overcoming that sense of alienation and loneliness, it will create excitement and enthusiasm about going. Wouldn’t you far rather see your child spring out of bed full of excitement about going to that first day at kindergarten because she is going to be able to wear her new dress or he will get to show off his Spongebob backpack? Its not bribery if you are just using the purchase of things they already have to have to help them get more excited about going to school and to get them off on the right foot.

You can use the event of shopping to build anticipation for that first day by going on more than one trip. You can have mom go one day and get the clothes and then dad go out another and get the backpack. Additional trips might include and outing to get school supplies or even letting the little one go to the grocery store to have a say in what goes into lunch each day. The more they can participate, the more fun it will be and the more ownership your child will have over this exciting first day at school. And if that ownership translates into success, that is what everybody wants.

Even the best behaved toddler has an occasional temper tantrum. A tantrum can range from whining and crying to screaming, kicking, hitting, and breath holding. They’re equally common in boys and girls and usually occur from age 1 to age 3. Some children may experience regular tantrums, whereas for other children, tantrums may be rare. Some kids are more prone to throwing a temper tantrum than others.
Toddlers are trying to master the world and when they aren’t able to accomplish a task, they often use one of the only tools at their disposal for venting frustration – a tantrum. There are several basic causes of tantrums that are familiar to parents everywhere: The child is seeking attention or is tired, hungry, or uncomfortable. In addition, tantrums are often the result of children’s frustration with the world.Frustration is an unavoidable part of kids’ lives as they learn how people, objects, and their own bodies work

Tantrums are common during the second year of life, a time when children are acquiring language. Toddlers generally understand more than they can express. As language skills improve, tantrums tend to decrease. Keep off-limits objects out of sight and out of reach, which will make struggles less likely to develop over them. Distract your child. Take advantage of your little one’s short attention span by offering a replacement for the coveted object or beginning a new activity to replace the frustrating or forbidden one. And choose your battles: consider the request carefully when your child wants something. Is it outrageous? Maybe it isn’t. Accommodate when possible to avoid an outburst. Make sure your child isn’t acting up simply because he or she isn’t getting enough attention. To a child, negative attention (a parent’s response to a tantrum) is better than no attention at all. Try to establish a habit of catching your child being good (“time in”), which means rewarding your little one with attention and praise for positive behavior. This will teach them that acting appropriately makes mommy and daddy happy and proud, and they’ll be anxious to do it again and again