Birthdays are always special. It is that time of the year which brings out the child in everyone. No matter what your age, everybody wants to get pampered and get that special attention!

And as a child the excitement is more! As parents it is up to you to make their day extra special and memorable – give them something that they will cherish all their lives.

So how can you do that? Besides a huge birthday bash there are things that you can do right from the beginning of the day.

First of all take a day off from work – let your child know that nothing is more important than him/her and work can take a backseat when it comes to their special day!

This is how you can start their day:

1) Quietly wake them up at 12:00 midnight (something children don’t do normally so it can be quite exciting for them!) and wish them happy birthday and tell them how special they are. Then tuck them back in and kiss them goodnight.

 2) Prepare a special breakfast for your child. Whip up their favourite pancakes and put a smiley face. With chocolate or maple syrup write happy birthday on their plate.

 3) Dress them up in new clothes and head to an orphanage, an old age home or a pet shelter. Let them start the day on a good note. Birthdays usually involve getting gifts from people and sometimes kids can get cranky when they don’t get what they want. Not only will they be more grateful for what they have but they will also share the gift of love and laughter with others who aren’t as fortunate.

 Make them proud of themselves on their special day!

 4) You can then take them for a movie or to the park for some special family time before the party begins and all your friends come over.

 5) Buy a range of small inexpensive gifts and arrange a treasure hunt. It will be a fun birthday activity! Save the best gift for the party.

6) While you and your spouse may have arranged for everything for the party, leave some things to do for your child as well. He/she can decorate the party hats or the balloons – a fun arts and crafts thing to do. They can proudly display their art work at the party later!

 7) Then comes time for the birthday party – have fun games, great food and nice music organised.

8) Once it is all over and all guests have gone home you will be left with a tired yet a very happy child. Tuck them in and don’t forget to tell them how special they are.

 Have a great birthday for the apple of your eye!

The thought of travelling with your baby can bring nightmares to you. Your baby may be the apple of your eye, but let’s face it he/she is definitely a handful. That too at home! No wonder then travelling with your baby seems like an intimidating task!

So, to ease your worries we have some really effective tips for travelling with your baby. Trips and getaways need not be a thing of the past. By overcoming some of hiccups and with strategic planning your travelling days can be back!

So, the first thing you need to remember while travelling with your baby is to make sure you pack all the required items. This includes basic items like baby clothes, few toys, milk bottles, pacifiers etc.

A travel crib, portable baby chair and stroller are also good choices to take along!

When it comes to food, carry your baby’s formula in an air-tight bag or their favourite cereal and porridge. Even though you might get it in stores, there are chances you might get stuck in some place where there are no stores nearby!

Besides food and other essentials, pack necessary medicines for flu, stomach bug, fever and other common illnesses.

This holds good especially during road trips.

While travelling with your baby via car, make sure you pack enough snacks for them. Take frequent rest stops and get out of the car. This way you can take enough breaks to feed your baby and give them a rest from sitting in the car. This will help your baby not get cranky!

Now when you are travelling with your baby in a plane, make sure you feed them during take-offs and landings – this helps ease the ear-pressure off.

Flights can get real chilly sometimes, so dress your baby with in layers. Carry extra clothes (warm ones) with you, just in case.

One of the most helpful tips while travelling with your baby via plane is to book an extra seat. You can bring your car seat along and strap in your baby safely and conveniently.

If your baby gets cranky, hold him and walk on the aisle, feed him (window seat is preferable here) and play with him. Don’t worry other passengers are not glaring at you! They probably understand and some of them might actually offer to babysit!

If you are travelling with your baby to your parents’ house or a friend’s house, then you can have the whole house at your disposal – creating a home here away from your home will be easy!

But, if you are staying at a hotel, try to get a bigger room – where you can have a changing station and a feeding station for your baby. A play space will be a bonus!

The best way you can enjoy your vacation while travelling with your baby is by giving your partner breaks. Take turns to take care of the baby and let the other person enjoy some ‘me-time’ to relax or explore.

So travelling with your baby will not be a problem anymore. In fact it can be the most memorable experience of your life and you find so many ways to bond with your baby on a trip!

 

 

I had always believed in getting my older child to do what I want her to do (eat vegetables, go to bed early) by reasoning with her. Of course, as she grew older, the ‘reasoning’ became arguing and sometimes even yelling. When I felt ashamed that I had raised my voice and called names, I would tell myself that she had pushed me to the limit. After all, I had still communicated why she needed to do certain things.

With my younger son, however, I find that coaxing does not work. Neither does yelling. So I have to resort to some imaginative storytelling, some exaggeration (white lies?).

I used to find this distasteful earlier; I used to believe (rather naively) that if children are told why something is good for them, they will eventually come around to doing it.

I now realize that given constraints of time and mommy energy, I have to resort to methods that I earlier looked down upon as ‘underhand’.

Let me give you an example – my son needs a hair cut every three weeks (yes!) which he detests. I tried explaining the reason (he gets a bad cold otherwise). I tried saying firmly that he has to get a haircut, no choice. But he refused to budge. And it is not practical to transport a kicking, screaming four year old boy.
Then came the saving grace – a policeman! Yes, there was a neighbour who dropped by, in full uniform. And since my son wants to grow up to be a policeman, I pointed out the really short hair…and lo behold, my son was ready for a hair cut!

Now, when my son gets too rough with his sister or friends, or when he refuses to eat vegetables, I say, “A policeman is rough only with thugs.” or “How will you chase thieves if you dont eat veggies and become strong?”

While these methods are highly effective for my son (and are a blessing in disguise for my vocal chords), I still have not reconciled fully to this approach.

Should I not get my child to do what I want him to do, simply because it is the ‘right’ thing to do?

 

Re-published with permission from the blog of ParentEdge, a bi-monthly parenting magazine that aims to expose parents to global trends in learning and partner with them in the intellectual enrichment of their children.

 

Sometimes it can be very challenging to communicate anything with your child.  Setting clear expectations regarding what’s acceptable behavior and what isn’t imperative to successfully teaching your child right from wrong.  If the parameters are muddled or the child learns that in one situation the rules hold true yet in another situation the same rule does not, it makes for confusion and frustration on both sides.

Sit down with your child well in advance and line out the expectations and consequences of misbehaving or a misdeed.  Make it clear that in no uncertain terms is there any room for negotiation at the time of the infraction, and that should such a behavior occur you  intend to be firm in your discipline.  Rules regarding your child’s safety, health or well-being should have no room for negotiation when being set or enforced.  Other rules can be openly and honestly discussed with your child and an agreed upon action should be forged that both parents and child can agree upon.  If necessary, make a contract between parent and child.  Lay it all out in black and white, in language your child can clearly understand.  For younger children, you might want to develop a good behavior chart within the contract, and for each week that goes by without any infractions being noted, a favorite or special activity might be earned.  The connection between good deeds and special time with mom and/or dad might be just the currency they understand.

But all children need to understand that disciplining them is your way of teaching them what’s acceptable behavior and what isn’t.  It may seem as though children fight rules and regulations, but they truly know that such parameters are meant for their well-being, health, safety, and enable them to grow into a mature person capable of making wise decisions.

Children always seem to find a way to ‘push our buttons’ at times and really try our patience. It’s easy to feel irritated, sad, angry, annoyed, confused and hurt. It’s at these times when our parenting skills are really tested, and that it’s imperative we maintain a kind but firm stance when it comes to doling out the discipline. And let’s face it – none of us ever want to hurt our child with physical or verbal abuse. We want to teach our child that such things are wrong, and punishing a misdeed or inappropriate action by yelling or hitting is hypocritical at best.

Our goal when disciplining our children is to teach them to be responsible, cooperative, kind and respectful. The best way to teach this is to always remain consistent, follow through with the same punishment for the same misdeed, and to discuss the discipline with your child openly and honestly afterwards.

Always keep in mind that the age, maturity level, and temperament of your child should always be considered when enforcing a set disciplinary action. Disciplinary actions should be discussed and understood in advance so that children know what they have coming when they’ve misbehaved and can give pause and hopefully choose an appropriate route to avoid it. And most importantly, remember that it’s not the child you dislike; it’s his or her chosen behavior, action or misdeed. If you need to, give yourself a brief ‘time out’ before responding with appropriate discipline. Sometimes we need a short cooling off period before dealing with our children’s misdeeds in order to avoid a misdeed of our own. Yelling and hitting should never be an option. Keep an open mind as a parent, and be willing to learn with and from your child. We all make mistakes and it’s important to realize that not every form of discipline works with every child. Children are just as unique as adults are, and forms of discipline should be tailored to fit the individual needs of both parent and child. But with a little forethought, patience, firmness, love and understanding, the discipline can have a positive outcome for all involved.

Everyone makes mistakes. Granted, some mistakes are more significant than others and harder to get over, but they are a part of life. How individuals deal with those mistakes is significant to their self-esteem. Children who are taught from an early age to admit to their mistakes understand that it’s not a crime to make one, and they seem to have the ability to cope much better with them. They recognize that a mistake was made and admit the error. Most importantly, these children also develop a strategy to change the mistake and not do the same thing again.

The process of making and learning from mistakes is an extremely valuable life skill for everyone because learning involves risking. Every time children risk, they will not always succeed. But they tried something new and most likely learned from it as a result. Children with low self-esteem deal with making a mistake quite differently. More often than not, these children use the experience to devalue themselves. Instead of looking at the error as an opportunity to learn, these children interpret the experience as a reason to quit and never try again. They view it as a devaluing and humiliating experience. You can help your child cope with mistakes by first making sure they understand that everyone makes mistakes, even you.

Own up to your own mistakes to teach them there’s no shame in making them. Make sure they understand that it’s okay to make mistakes. This presents a great opportunity to tell your child what you’ve learned to do differently the next time. Then, offer strategies to turn mistakes into learning opportunities. In the process, you can provide your child with an opportunity to enhance their self-esteem and accept responsibility for the mistakes they make. Help your child to realize that the mistake is the problem, and not them. Then help them develop a positive plan for the next time around, and what they’ll do differently the next time to avoid making the same mistake again.