7 Most Common Reasons Why Babies Cry

February 18, 2014 By: Bril

Every baby cries at one point in time or another. This behaviour is quite normal. Most toddlers cry for around one to three hours every day. It is important to understand that a baby completely depends on your for warmth, comfort and food. Crying is your baby’s most common way of communicating her needs, and ensuring a clear response from you. Sometimes, it can be quite hard to figure out what your baby’s trying to tell you. However, as time passes by, you will learn to recognise exactly what your baby needs.

When your baby grows, she will learn many other ways to communicating with her parents. Her eye contact will be much better, smiles would be more prominent, and noises would be loud. Thus, the need for crying to grab your attention will be reduced. In the meantime, you need to learn some common reasons why your baby’s crying. In this post, we’ve discussed 7 such reasons to help you take necessary steps.

Hunger

This is one of the most common reasons for your baby is crying. When your baby is young, she’s more likely to be hungry. Since a small baby’s stomach is unable to hold a lot of food, you should offer her milk when she starts crying.

Even if you fed her just a while ago, she could still be hungry. When you’re breastfeeding your baby, she may be hungry on a frequent basis. However, if you’re formula feeding, she won’t be hungry if she’s been fed within the last couple of hours.

Nappy Change

In case your baby’s clothes are too tight or she’s being bothered by a soiled or wet nappy, she may protest. Some babies don’t mind a full nappy. In fact, they enjoy the warm feeling. However, if your baby has tender skin, she may get irritated and start crying.

Too Hot or Cold

Most of the babies hate being bathed or getting their nappy changed. A baby may not be quite used to the feeling of cool air on the skin. She would rather want to be warmed up and bundled. However, it won’t take long before learning to change your baby’s nappy quickly. Here are some excellent tips to make sure your baby is neither too hot nor cold :

● You should not overdress your baby. However, she will still need one more layer of clothing to feel comfortable.

● You need to use cellular blankets and sheets as your baby’s bedding. If you want to check your baby’s temperature, you should feel her tummy. In case it feels too hot, you should remove the blanket. Similarly, if it feels cold, you should add one.

● Since your baby’s hands and feet would mostly feel cool, you should not be guided by them. The temperature of your baby’s room should range between 22-25 degrees Celsius.

● In case your baby is sleeping with you, you need to keep her in contact with you. This will raise her body temperature and keep her warm.

● If your baby is sleeping on a cot, you should let her sleep on her back. Her feet should be at the end of her cot. This way, she won’t get entangled in the blankets or feel too hot.

Physical Contact or Reassurance

This is another common reason why your baby may be crying. Babies need a lot of physical contact, reassurance and cuddling. Your baby may just want to be held. You should keep her close to you, and sing to her. It may calm her down.

Many parents are worried about spoiling their babies because of holding them too much. However, it’s not possible during the first few weeks of her life. Babies need a lot of physical contact to feel safe and secure. In fact, your baby may even be calmed by listening to your heartbeat.

Proper Rest

Most of the time, babies are unable to sleep because they’re very tired. It won’t take long before you learn the baby’s sleep cues. Crying and whining over menial things, going quiet, staring blankly into space are some common indications that your baby wants rest.

In case your baby received a lot of cuddles and attention from visitors, she may have been over stimulated. Therefore, when it comes to taking rest and sleeping, she won’t be able to just settle down. You should carry your baby to some place quiet, calm and cosy. You should try to establish some good sleeping habits.

Feeling Sick

It is important to be aware of certain changes in your baby’s psyche and physiology. If your baby is unwell or sick, she’ll cry in a different tone. Her crying may seem more urgent, weaker, high pitched or continuous. Similarly, if your baby cries a lot, but suddenly went unusually quiet, it may be a sign of sickness.

As a parent, there’s no one else who would know and understand your baby better than yourself. If you think there’s something wrong, you should consult a doctor and talk about your concerns. If your baby shows difficulty breathing or the crying is accompanied by vomiting, constipation, fever or diarrhoea, you should immediately call a doctor.

Need Something, But Not Sure What

At times, you may be unable to figure out what’s making your baby cry. There are many newborns who go through some rough patches. It is very hard to comfort these babies. Their unhappiness may be caused by a lot of different factors. They may cry for several hours at a stretch. This constant state of crying is called colic. Colic is a common state in which a baby cries for at least 3 hours per day, minimum 3 days in a week.

Most of the parents find it very hard to deal with this condition. In fact, it can put the whole family under stress. It is worth mentioning that Colic does not have a magic cure. However, in most cases, it does not last for over 3 months. You need to accept this condition and understand that it will be resolved in some time. You can look for some valuable information to cope up with Colic. There are many strategies which can help you accept and manage this condition in your baby.

Raising Thankful Kids

February 13, 2014 By: Bril

With a silver spoon or a silver lining?

As the year comes to an end, give your child the gift of gratitude. What am I talking about, you wonder?! Well, as a parent and as a professional working with parents and kids, I often come across parents saying ‘kids today are so hard to satisfy…when they want, they want it now..AND when they get it, it holds their attention for a bit and then they want something else….” Am sure you get the picture!

So, here is something to think about…do you think we are raising a generation of “I NEED…I WANT…ITS NOT ENOUGH’ kids? I think to some extent we are. Part of that is a reflection of our own values as a society where we are so invested in acquiring more and wanting more…be it a new gadget, a bigger car or the latest fashion trend. We seem to be in a constant rush and frenzy as we live life by our ‘wish lists’. Think about it, when was the last time you took a pause and put on the brakes, to appreciate all the things you already have?

So, in case you are thinking, ‘Okay we get that, but apart from the obvious reasons, why should we teach our children to be grateful and thankful?’ Here is WHY! Research has proven that when we teach our children to be thankful and count their blessings, it develops resiliency, happiness and a positive attitude to life. While having a thankful outlook will not change the events in their lives, it definitely changes the way they perceive them. As children learn to find and acknowledge their blessings, even in the midst of difficult times, they learn that problems can be conquered and difficulties can be solved.

So, now that we know why it’s important for our kids to learn to be grateful and thankful, the next questions to answer is, ‘How do we help our children develop this life skill?’

The answer is closer than you think, as it starts with you! Here are some tips:

Model Being Thankful – while this seems obvious, how many times do we take the time to verbalise that we are thankful and share that with our children? When parents express thankfulness for things in their life, children learn to do the same thing. Remember there is no better role model than you!
Be a Thankful Family – made a concerted effort to help your children identify all the things you are thankful for as a family, starting with having each other! Gather your family together and create a ‘Thankful Tree’. It’s simple – each of you draws an outline of your hands and then writes/illustrates what you are thankful for. Discuss and process this as a family. Encourage the kids to think beyond their new toys, and look at other things like, “I am thankful I can draw well’ or ‘I am thankful that I have good friends’. Creating your ‘Family Thankful Tree’ is also a great way to bond and have fun as a family! Here is an example of one we did…the kids will love it and so will you!
See Gratitude Everywhere – it’s easy to be grateful when the going is good, right? So, as you develop this habit of gratitude, take it to the next level by showing your kids how to be grateful even when things appear less perfect and not so rosy. For example, “Yes, the rain means your field trip gets postponed and I know you were looking forward to having fun with your friends, but the rain is great for the trees and the crops, and the earth really needed that! And you will still get to go to your field trip next week…”

So, parents rather than raising children ‘born with a silver spoon in their mouth’, lets raise our children to be the ‘silver lining’ kind of children that can focus on the positive, even as stormy clouds enter their lives today or tomorrow!

Happy Parenting and see you in the New Year with a Thankful and Grateful Heart!

Re-published with permission from the blog of ParentEdge, a bi-monthly parenting magazine that aims to expose parents to global trends in learning and partner with them in the intellectual enrichment of their children. This blog was written by Aparna Balasundaram, Psychotherapist and Life Skills Expert.

What to Do when Kids Ask Tough Questions

January 1, 2014 By: Bril

Kids ask questions. Whenever they want, wherever they like. They ask because they are curious. They ask because they think you know.

If they knew that they can get those answers somewhere else, they would do that. (Let us face it, sooner or later that is bound to happen.)

The reason why we get irritated with kids and their questions is that, often, we do not know the answers. In addition we do not want to admit that we do not know. Either to the kid or to ourselves.

But there is a nice way out.

Let us imagine a scenario – my grandson has asked me a question about the stars. And I do not know the answer.

“Arhan, Thatha does not know the answer. What should we do?”

“I don’t know”

“Should we ask Amma about it? Or should we look up some book? Or may be the computer?”

“Computer?”

“OK, let us check the computer.. “

We sit together and I enter his question in my search window in the browser. As I type I keep talking about what I am doing.

“I now open my laptop and I click on this red, yellow, green and blue button. (That is the Chrome Icon). And now I have to type your question here..”

We search couple of sites and let us say we found what he wanted. The matter need not stop there.

“OK when Daddy gets back from work we will tell him about your question & how you found the answer. Shall we do that?”

“Yes”

“Will you tell him? Sometimes Thatha may forget things.”

“OK I will tell him.”

“What will you tell him?”

The experience is still fresh in his mind and Arhan would describe what we did, in his own words. Therefore he will remember it well

I could follow this up with a question to Arhan that evening, for which Arhan has no answer. So I ask “What do we do? You want try the computer?”. If he says yes, ask him tell you what to do.

Every time a child asks a question, there is a great opportunity to bond with the child and discover something together. It will be a shame to miss it.

What parents can teach their kids about Mandela

December 10, 2013 By: Bril

The world is mourning the death of Nelson Mandela, an extraordinary man, a symbol of strength, dignity, leadership, survival and courage. Our children’s generation (many of whom were born after Mandela was freed), cannot even comprehend the 27 years of imprisonment he suffered and how he was able to win freedom for his country, the last remnant of European colonialism and the symbol of the dreaded apartheid. In telling the story of this great man to our children, there are several lessons we can impart:

1. The courage to hang in there: what you think is difficult is almost negligible compared to what Mandela went through. Unlike most political prisoners, Mandela was treated as an ordinary prisoner and given hard and menial tasks, and even contracted TB as a result. But as Mandela himself said, “Difficulties break some men but make others.” About his persistence, he said, “Do not judge me by my successes, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again.”

2. Do not hate: Mandela would have been fully justified if he can come out of prison filled with hate. What is extraordinary is that he bore very little ill feeling towards his captors, saying, “No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.” This is so true for us parents, and we should use the story of Mandela to show how hate and bigotry should be shunned.

3. The importance of education: If Mandela could get a law degree in prison, in spite of working under back-breaking conditions breaking rocks in the lime quarry, clearly he saw tremendous value in it, realizing that “Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.” We should teach our children to make education a priority, and that is only long-term and peaceful way to change the world.

RIP Madiba.

5 Tourist Places to Visit in India with Your Children

December 3, 2013 By: Bril

It’s December and holiday season is here which means it is family vacation time! It is time to pack yours and your children’s bags and head out for an adventure. Vacations are a great way for you to de-stress and bond with your kids and at the same it can be a great learning experience for them. Learning about a new place, new language, new food and new culture will be exciting and enriching for them. They will even get a great topic to write about in their next essay assignment – ‘What I did over my winter break’! But, more than anything else vacations are a great way to reconnect with your family – school, work and other chores usually take up so much of our time and effort that is difficult to find room for special family moments. A trip is a great way to make up for lost time. There are no distractions on a vacation – just you and your family having a gala time!

So, here is a list of places that you can head to this December:

1) Pondicherry: If you are looking for a place that is quiet, pristine, and beautiful and has beaches, then Pondicherry is the place for you! It was host to the largest French colony in India which means this place has a rich cultural heritage as well. Your kids can have fun while getting to learn something new! Visit the Sri Aurobindo Ashram for a spiritual experience where you can learn about the great guru’s practices and vision. And when it comes to food you must go to the quaint French restaurants and cafes!

2) Kanyakumari: Also known as Cape Comorin, Kanyakumari lies at the southernmost tip of India and is one of the most popular tourist destinations. Famous for pilgrimage, its temples are well-known all over the world. People don’t just come here for religious or spiritual purpose, but also to witness the beauty and the stunning architecture of the temples. Make sure you watch the spectacular sunset and sunrise during this month!

3) Kullu Manali: If you want to experience true winter with snow fights, snow angels and snow sports, then head to Manali. Bathed in snow, the Himalayas makes for a magical tourist destination. The snow-capped mountains will take your breath away! Have an adventurous holiday with your family with rafting, paragliding, rock climbing and skiing.

4) Puri: One of the Char Dhams, Puri is a great destination place for some spiritual learning – for you and your children as well. Not only is it a great place to learn about our heritage with historical temples and shrines, but it is also a great place to revel in the beauty of nature. Especially in the month of December, this city is full of greenery. Beaches are an added benefit! A must-visit place is the Chilka Lake which is the biggest inland salt-water lagoon.

5) Jaipur: Old forts, palaces and other heritage structures – experience India’s rich culture in this beautiful city of Rajasthan which is known for its hospitality. This pink city is also known for its great shopping and delicious food! Make sure you visit Jantar Mantar, Hawa Mahal and JalMahal for an exotic trip!

Teach Your Kids How to Handle Money

November 14, 2013 By: Bril

It is never too early or late to teach your child about the value of money. If they can count and are getting pocket money, then it is time to introduce them to money values. Money usually involves decision-making and teaching them how to save, what to invest on early on will help them make wise investment choices later on in life. No matter how young (in fact the sooner you teach them about money the better it is), every child needs to learn how to handle money responsibly. Impart the basic knowledge and let them decide on their budget (with your supervision of course!). Give them a free hand once in a while as well – let them indulge. They are kids after all!

Nowadays children are quite knowledgeable; they know what an ATM is for, they know that their parents get salary for the work that they do and they are also aware of how much the latest gadget costs. They might not grasp the full extent of the ‘money system’, but they know enough. And as parents, it is up to you to show them the right path. Even banks have started saving accounts for children – you can teach them about savings by opening an account for them first.

Here are some other tips to help them learn about the value of money:

1) Don’t just give them pocket money every week with no strings attached. Ask them to do chores around the house – this way they will learn that you have to earn your money. By working hard for their money, it is more likely that they will not be reckless with it. In addition they will respect your decision when you don’t buy them everything that they ask for.

2) Teach them to divide their money into parts – a part to spend, a part to save and a part to grow. For the grow part, you can offer to put in a certain amount of money for every ‘x’ amount of money your child puts in.

3) Help them learn the difference between needs and wants so that they can make good decisions when it comes to spending their money.

4) One way to help them save is to match their savings with a certain amount of money. If there is a toy that they really want, tell them you will put in the rest of the money if they can save ‘x’ amount themselves.

5) When you give them allowances, give them in denominations – this way it is easier for them to divide the money for savings and expenses purpose.

Allow them to make their spending decisions even if sometimes they are making the wrong choice. This way they will learn the value of money by making their own decisions – present the pros and cons to them and then let them be the best judge.

The Gandhian Approach – The Non Violent Way to Discipline your Child!

October 17, 2013 By: Bril

Aparna Samuel Balasundaram is a USA- Licensed Psychotherapist and Parent and Child Expert with 10 years of experience in the USA. She is the Founder of Life Skills Experts and the Life Skills 360¡ System that enables parents and teachers to raise happy, confident and successful children. Visitwww.LifeSkillsExperts.com for more information.

Am sure that as each of us look back into our childhood we can share a story or two of how we were punished by our parents or teachers…many of us remember that chalk piece that came flying at us, the duster that was thrown, the knuckle and the scale method, the slap on the face and the list goes on! When I work with parents many say that while they were not emotionally traumatised by these experiences, they would NOT like the same treatment meted out to their children. Yet, many of them fall into the same trap that their teachers or parents fell into! The intentions may be good but since we don’t know better we fall back on old patterns. Many parents have confessed that when they hit their child they feel guilty and often try to make up by indulging their child with expensive toys, candies or gadgets and this only leaves the child feeling more confused.

Parents, help is on its way! Here are three tried and tested methods of disciplining your child, without you needing to scream, hit or getting your blood pressure up! I like to call it the ‘Gandhian Approach!’

Let them face the ‘Natural Consequences’ -These are the times when you let your child see what will happen if he does not behave (as long as it does not place him in any danger). For example, if your toddler keeps throwing her toys on purpose, she will soon learn that these toys break; or when your teenager refuses to put his clothes in the basket for a wash, he will soon learn that he has run out of clean shirts to wear! When you use this method, don’t give in and rescue your child (by buying new toys for your toddler or picking up your teenagers clothes for wash). Your child will learn best when they face the natural consequence of their behaviour be it broken toys or dirty clothes!

Time-Out- This is a technique that works well when a specific rule has been broken. It works best for children from 3 to 6 years of age. In this technique you send your child to a corner or any other quiet place, as a ‘Time Out’ to give your child time to think about their behaviour, what they have done wrong and what they can change. A rule of thumb is 1 minute of time-out for every year of your child’s age (for example, a 4-year-old would get a 4-minute time-out). Once your child is ready to apologize or talk let them out of time out [even if it is before 4 minutes].When the time is up, do not lecture or ask for apologies. Talk to your child and discuss the behaviour and set a plan for how this should not happen again. At times like these, I especially encourage parents to remind their children that they love them, and that it is their behaviour and not them, that is the problem.

Withholding Privileges- This technique works best for older children and your teenagers. In this technique your child learns that they ‘earn’ a privilege when they are responsible about what is expected of them, be it finishing their homework, studying for an exam or keeping their room clean. A privilege that is valued by the child, such as watching television, ‘face booking’ or playing video games, should be removed for an agreed upon time [for example the weekend or a week], if the child does not keep their end of the bargain!

So, go ahead parents try these techniques, be patient and do not give into the temptation of falling back into old patterns! You will see the stress and decibel levels reduce at your homes! Happy Parenting!

How a Reward System Can Help You Raise Better Kids

October 10, 2013 By: Bril

Parenthood is one of the toughest jobs to do! Raising kids can be scary and parents usually lose sleep over how their child is going to turn out. To teach them responsibility and good behaviour, a good reward system can prove to be quite useful and you can catch your forty winks in peace! So what is a reward system?

Every time your child does something ‘good’, give them a reward. This will not only show your appreciation and make them proud, but it will also motivate them to keep up the good habits in future.

For example a reward system can be used when they do well in their exams, when they clean their room, make their beds, put toys away or help you around in the house. A special reward can also be given for children who have been nice to other children in the school or donated their old clothes/toys to charity.

Here are few ideas on what kind of rewards you can give your child:

1) Give them stars to put up on their wall. Every time they do something you appreciate, they earn a star. You can have different coloured stars, different sized stars – each denoting something. For example a red star could be for acing their exams, a yellow for being polite.

2) Put up a sticker chart in their room. Let them earn the stickers (choose the kinds your child likes) and allow them to decorate their charts. Not only will they be motivated to earn those stickers, but it will also become a fun activity for them!

3) Make the ‘stars’ or ‘stickers’ system even more interesting by giving them an exchange offer. For example they can earn coupons in return for an ‘x’ number of stars. For example 5 red stars = DVD of their favourite movie or 3 stickers = stay over at a friend’s place. Take suggestions from them as to what they want in return.

4) You can even have a point system. Reward them with points ranging from 1-10 depending on the magnitude of their good behaviour and when they reach 100 give them something special and big like a picnic, movie marathon day, a trip to the zoo etc.

5) Let your children earn privileges like watching TV, playing video games, going out with friends etc. First they will be motivated to earn these privileges and they would appreciate these things more when it comes with hard work!

You will be surprised how well these reward systems work. Try it out!

Top 5 Books Your 11+ Child Should Read

October 8, 2013 By: Bril

From the age of 11, children usually start reading books of different genres from fantasy to horror to comedy to fiction. As the number of books increases, so does their vocabulary and imagination.

For an avid reader here is a list of 5 must-have books:

1) Tuck Everlasting by Natalie Babbitt

A beautiful and descriptive fantasy book, Tuck Everlasting revolves around the story of a ten year old girl Winnie Foster who discovers a magic spring that can give a person eternal life. Filled with humour and magic, it makes one ponder what it would be like to live forever. It is a perfect book to trigger your child’s imagination.

2) The Diary of a Young Girl by Anne Frank

This is probably one of the most famous autobiographies of all time and your child’s reading experience is incomplete without this book. The Diary of a Young Girl is about the author Anne Frank and her life in the concentration camp. An inspirational and moving story, this book is a must read. Your child will definitely take away a valuable lesson from this touching true story of a young girl. But, this book is recommended for older children of about 14-15 years.

3) Anne of Green Gables by L. M. Montgomery

A bestselling novel in the year 1908 this book is a timeless classic and is considered one of the best novels for children. The story revolves around a young orphan girl Anne Shirley who is mistakenly adopted by a brother and sister. Follow her as she goes through the many adventures of life adjusting to a new school and new town and get gripped by her dynamic and charming personality!

4) The Giver by Lois Lowry

Now this book is for the slightly older kids as the content is more complicated as compared to other books mentioned. A soft science fiction it is a story of a society which at first is sounds like a utopia but very soon the misconception is cleared and the actual ugliness is revealed. This book is definitely going to make your child think.

5) Hatchet by Gary Paulsen

An amazing adventurous story by Gary Paulsen, the Hatchet revolves around the wilderness survival theme. A thirteen year old Brian Robeson finds himself in the wild after a plane crash with nothing but just a hatchet (a gift from his mother). Read on this gripping tale of his survival and his quests.

Boost your child’s learning potential with books. And with something constructive to do, they are bound to stay out of trouble!

Ten Effective Ways to Equip Your Child With Numeracy Skills

September 24, 2013 By: Bril

Numeracy skills play a big role in a child’s life. Literacy and education are incomplete without numeracy skills. Children below five years old are at their peak and this is the time when they can absorb and retain basic numeracy skills more efficiently. And as they grow learning numbers becomes easier for them.

So what are numeracy skills?

Simply put it is the ability of a person to use and understand numbers which include knowing basic subtraction, addition, division and multiplication. Many a time in life, one faces mathematical demands and basic numeracy skills are what get us through. The lack of knowledge of numbers can have a negative impact on our lives.

So, start early and equip your child with the much needed numeracy skills. Make numbers fun for them and the best part is you can teach them anytime and anywhere!

Here are some tips that can make learning math fun and simple for your child:

1) Games are the best way to teach them mathematics at home – cards, dominoes and other board games like Ludo and Snakes & Ladders that involve counting can come quite in handy.

2) Ask your kids to count their pocket money at the end of every month. How much did they get, how much did they spend and how much did they save?

3) Make going to school also a game of mathematics. Your school starts at 8:00 a.m. You need to reach by 7:45 and your home is 30 minutes away. So, what time do you need to leave to reach by 8:00? Let them figure these out on their own and in the meanwhile learn too!

4) While travelling ask your children to notice car numbers and to add them up as quickly as they can.

5) Get a packet of Gems and empty the contents. Let your child count how many candies of each colour are there. For example how many reds and how many yellows. Which colour is more and by how many numbers?

6) You can do this with laundry as well – ask them to separate the whites from the colours and count how many are there in each category.

7) Help them memorize your phone number and show them how to dial it on the phone.

8) Mark important dates on the calendar and help them count how many days left until the next important day.

9) Measure your child’s height every month and ask them to calculate how much they are growing and compare the height to other people in the house. Who is shorter and who is taller?

10) Also help them learn about shapes while reading a book, or playing in the park or while visiting places.

A few simple tips to keep in mind and you can help develop your child’s numeracy skills!