As Indian parents, we value education- especially education that is focused and leads to a goal. Most of us have gone through traditional, focused education in India right from our high school days.  We do not understand what a Liberal Arts education is about- it confounds us!

Simply speaking, it is a system of education that believes that the journey is as important as the destination. It believes in creating well rounded individuals with skills that will help them manoeuvre their way around this complex world- the emphasis is on life skills than knowledge per se. A Liberal Arts education encourages students to step outside their comfort zone and study diverse subjects in order to expose them to new thinking and ideas that they can ponder upon, analyse and draw conclusions from.

When you are getting a Liberal Arts education (usually at the undergraduate level), you study a variety of subjects, an eclectic mix, so to speak, which seemingly have nothing to do with each other, but which will help shape you into a well rounded individual. A Liberal Arts education helps you think, analyse and form your own conclusions about subjects as varied as literature, philosophy, psychology, theatre, math and even sciences.

Liberal Arts education is originally supposed to have evolved in Europe where it slowly died down over centuries.  It has seen a revival in the United States with several Liberal Arts colleges and Universities specialising in a Liberal Arts education.   Most colleges offer a full-time, four-year course of study that leads to a Bachelor of Arts or Bachelor of Science degree.  The colleges that offer these programmes are almost always small- the student-teacher ratio is high, there is heavy student-teacher interaction in classrooms and the focus is on developing critical thinking skills which will help an individual make well-informed decisions as they move on to the workplace.

My daughter is in the US getting a Liberal Arts education at Tufts University. The University believes that the abilities to work in a team structure, verbally communicate with persons inside and outside an organisation, obtain and process information to make decisions and solve problems and most importantly the ability to plan, organise and prioritise work are what an employer looks for in an employee and that these abilities are embedded in a Liberal Arts education. To give you an idea, my daughter is doing International economics, Psychology, a writing seminar and an acting class in her first semester. She will work individually and in teams; she will study these subjects thoroughly, analyse and debate and write papers with which she can effectively communicate her ideas and thoughts; she will be exposed to information from diverse sources- she will learn to process all this information to form her own conclusions- she will do all this by planning and prioritising.

The students do just 15 hours of classroom study in a week- they are supposed to study 3 hours on their own for every hour of classroom study.  The emphasis is on learning and discovery- the teachers are available to help them at every stage of their learning process.  The students will eventually pick a major- my daughter is veering towards economics, international relations and/or journalism- she has time until the end of year two to decide; in the meantime, she will do an eclectic mix of subjects, some traditional, some new and learn wonderful and disturbing things about the world, which will prepare her to face the challenges when she sets foot into the workplace.

In these difficult times, one might think that a Liberal Arts education is a waste of time and money- when the going gets bad, one wants to revert back to the traditional. A parent might feel that a focused undergraduate degree might be of better help in the workplace.

As parents, we all look for a good ‘return on investment’.  College education has become very expensive- especially an undergraduate education in the US.  We would not want our children studying an eclectic mix of subjects that lead nowhere- while I was not such an advocate of a Liberal Arts education in the past, I am slowly understanding its value. I like the system which permits students to explore diverse options in the first two years and then veer towards something a little more focused in their final years of study so that they are not only well rounded as human beings but also equipped with the technical skills in their chosen area of study. This is precisely what a Liberal Arts education gives them and hopefully, it will be ample ‘return on investment’ as well.

It is perhaps time for colleges in India and Singapore to offer Liberal Arts programmes as part of their undergraduate degree programs.  Singapore (a very focused and disciplined city-state) is getting its first Liberal Arts college in 2013- the NUS-Yale Liberal Arts college. It is a big step for Singapore: the policy makers and the prospective users (students and parents) are hoping it will be a success.

And I am hoping my daughter’s Liberal Arts education in Tufts will prepare her to face the workplace not only in the US, but also anywhere else in the world where she might need to go.

Re-published with permission from the blog of ParentEdge, a bi-monthly parenting magazine that aims to expose parents to global trends in learning and partner with them in the intellectual enrichment of their children.

The boy next door had just come back to Bangalore with his family after having been in Pune for more than a year. Sanket’s family and mine have been neighbours, sharing our stories and watching each other’s highs and lows from near and far (when they had to change base on official assignment) for more than six years by now. My son, Advaita, and Sanket’s older brother, Sankalp, have been close pals since they had met during their kindergarten days and their friendship has been going strong even after two year-long interruptions. On many occasions, a child needs a play-mate her age and the love and company of the mother doesn’t really help there, I knew. Obviously, I looked forward to a friendship between my almost-four-year-old daughter Diya and Sanket, six months her senior – a bonding something similar to what their siblings shared.

Diya is a lioness at home, but beyond her doorstep she puts on a cloak of shyness, breaking out of it only with a selected few or when her mood allows her to interact well with outsiders. Also, she is strong with children weaker than her, but doesn’t try to retaliate or even protect herself when confronted with aggression from children, particularly boys, stronger than her. Sanket had been growing up as a sweet, harmless, quiet three-year-old but one and half years at Pune had metamorphosed him into a chatty, bold, strong boy with shockingly a liking for throwing blows and pulling opponent’s hair whenever things didn’t happen his way, I discovered soon to my dismay!

Me and Sanket’s mother did try to bring the two kindergartners close, a little after I realized it would continue on this note if there was no intervention from the mothers’ side, but expectedly and unfortunately Diya ended up getting hurt in the sudden fights that ensued over toys and blocks and books each time they were together. I gave up slowly on working on building a cordial relation between the two. Sanket’s mother understood and kept quiet.

Recently, when sudden intermittent spells disrupted Diya’s plans of spending the evening at the park as usual, she found herself in the company of Sanket who was too bored to shun company of girls and came to our house, eager to spend some time with Diya. The two decided to experiment with colours and so out came colouring books and paints from Diya’s cupboard, and thus began a session under my quiet but watchful eyes.

“Will you give me the red paint?”

“No.”

“Then I’ll go back to my home.”

“OK, take the red. Give me the blue.”

“OK.”

Then again after some time……..

“I want the green.”

“I want the red.”

“OK.” Sanket complied, surprisingly.

There were no arguments, no fights, no blows and no tears or cries or screams. It almost seemed unreal with two young children who couldn’t be left on their own lest one hurt the other, were actually sitting side by side, paints and paintbrushes and colouring books their companions. Junior in years they may be, but they too found out over months by trial and error what interested them both and how they could enjoy each other’s company without adult intervention. They parted almost an hour – on amicable terms!

A few bottles of coloured paints scored where two mothers failed! Next time Diya gets confined to home at odd hours and I’m too busy to attend to her and she is too bored spending time with herself, and Sanket walked in like the other day, I could allow them to be together surrounded by bottles of paints, without me wondering who between us, the mothers, would have to drop the task in hand to peep in every two minutes for checking on the kids.

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As a mother who was a working mom and met the evenings ~4 years ago with her six-year-old naughty son along with frequent complaints about his acts of mischief from mostly mothers of daughters, fussing over my little daughter who is very vulnerable to aggressive boys (what an irony!) is almost instinctive for me. But this recent episode has taught us a few things one of which is I have to learn to detach myself from her now and then, to let her learn some lessons of life on her own, as her father too insists on.

Re-published with permission from the blog of ParentEdge, a bi-monthly parenting magazine that aims to expose parents to global trends in learning and partner with them in the intellectual enrichment of their children.

A familiar story to every parent of two or more children, “sibling rivalry” can sometimes really stress out a mother. I have 2 kids – a 7 year old boy, Rohan and an almost 3 year old girl, Shriya. Rohan, who is otherwise, very “macho” in his choice of games and toys, loves to grab and play with Shriya’s dolls every time she sits down with them. Shriya, who is typically happy to sit with her grandmother surrounded by play dough, puzzles, toy cars and colours wants to play only football, BeyBlade and cricket when her brother is around.

So, what’s new ? The answer is “Nothing” ! I’m pretty sure this is how it is going to stay for generations to come. I’ve heard platitudes like “This fighting will bring them closer” “That’s how your uncle and I used to be when we were kids and that’s how you were with your sister” “It will pass – this is how brother and sister will bond“… et al.

While it all sounds fine, I still feel like banging my head against the wall most of the times ! And that has set me thinking : how can a young boy be the trendsetter and leader, in school and in the playground,and ape his baby sister at the same time ? How can a toddler stumble through her alphabets and numbers yet know exactly how to irk her brother into shouting and hitting ?

If any of you have the answers for me, I promise to treat you at the best restaurant in town !!

Re-published with permission from the blog of ParentEdge, a bi-monthly parenting magazine that aims to expose parents to global trends in learning and partner with them in the intellectual enrichment of their children.

You may say that I’m over analyzing, but today I would like to take a couple of feet off my already short 5 foot frame, subtract a quarter century from my age and try to see things from the eyes of my 7 year old. Here is what he listens to in the morning:

• “Rohan  – wake up – getting late”
• “Drink your milk – if you miss your bus, I’m not going to drop you”
• “No – you can’t play your cricket cards now – no time”
• “DRINK your milk before I count to 10″

This is what he hears when he gets back:

• “Wash your hands”
• “Not on the floor – the uniform goes IN the laundry hamper”
• “Eat your fruit first – then you can have some junk food”
• “You are going to have to switch off the TV in 5 minutes”
• “BTW, what did you do in school today?”
• “Just a couple of minutes more – then TV time is over”

And this, when he comes back home from playing downstairs

• “I don’t care if you don’t like daal – you’ve got to eat it”
• “No time to play now the board game now – play with your sister for sometime”
• “Clean up – do you think I’m going to do it at the end of the day??”
• “Time for bed – otherwise you can’t wake up in time for school tomorrow”
• “Good night”

And I sometimes wonder, have I really got it right?

Re-published with permission from the blog of ParentEdge, a bi-monthly parenting magazine that aims to expose parents to global trends in learning and partner with them in the intellectual enrichment of their children.

Yesterday was the annual event at my daughter’s school “Magic Puddles“. The theme this time was “Street Utsav” & the school team had roped in parent volunteers to help them out. We started off with lots of ideas on showcasing the street flavours of Gujarat and Andhra Pradesh. Our first few meetings were full of enthusiastic suggestions from parents and teachers on dandiya, Char minar, Hyderabadi biriyani, dhoklas, et al. It all sounded hunky dory. But, I soon realized that we were nowhere close to execution! While the teachers were juggling school work with this added responsibility, the parents were doing double duty with work and office – none of us had the time to actually do anything!

With client deadlines breathing down my neck & my troublesome toddler eating away whatever free time I had, I undertook the responsibility of handling a “Dandiya” stall, where I would teach youngsters to make their own dandiya sticks from newspapers. I decided to make this fun for myself and my kids by involving them in every step. My daughter accompanied me to the shop to buy craft accessories, my son helped me glue things together & they both gave me some critical feedback on the end products too.

The day of the fair – a lovely Sunday morning – was really exciting. Glad to leave the kids behind with their father, I went in early to the school to find a whole bunch of mothers and teachers looking all resplendent like a glass of bubbly champagne! We had a blast setting up the stalls, trying our hand at a few rounds of dandiya dance before the crowd arrived and, of course, in sampling the food at the food stalls. As the children and their families came in, time just flew by in all the craft activites, games, qawwali rounds, dandiya dances, et al. As a lover of craft, I had a blast teaching youngsters to mess around with fevicol and paper creating their own sticks. As a mother, I enjoyed watching the smiles on the faces of each child proudly showing off his/her hand-made puppets, kites, caps, pen holders, etc. Most of all, as a stressed out working mother of two, I enjoyed doing something for myself – something which I truly enjoyed.

As a busy parent, have you ever taken time out to do something different – which turned out to be surprisingly refreshing?

Re-published with permission from the blog of ParentEdge, a bi-monthly parenting magazine that aims to expose parents to global trends in learning and partner with them in the intellectual enrichment of their children.

The high school years (Grades 9 -12) are crucial as they, whether one likes it or not, largely determine   the choices a student has in college and beyond. As such, all parents are concerned about how to help their children during this time.

My daughter Priyanka is in Grade 11 and she has  multiple goals for the next two years- staying focused on academics, taking standardized tests, creating a portfolio for music and dance, doing some writing and also applying to shortlisted colleges. Add to this the long commute to and from school, she really does have a jam packed schedule.

My first instinct, as a mother, was to see how I could directly pitch in and help her out, but my son (he is in college)’s words cautioning me about hand-holding her too much and hence not  preparing her to manage college life by herself reverberated in my ears . So, I thought about how I could contribute without necessarily “doing things” for her and decided to put my “management background” to good use.

I  suggested  to her that she create a master plan on excel which tracked her goals across all her priority areas.  More importantly, I persuaded (sometimes goaded J) her to review this every week.

In the first month, in her excitement, she went overboard and literally made an A-Z list of things to do. I desisted from pointing this out to her (with some difficulty I must admit) but only kept prodding her to check progress. End of month 1 and Priyanka reviewed the list. She used colours- red, orange and green- for indicating tasks that were at various stages of completion and was quite crestfallen at the number of reds she had. I consoled her and said that she had bitten off more than she could chew.

For the next month (October), she has been much more careful and put down a more pragmatic plan (while still keeping the bigger picture in mind). She has also thought about when she has her term break and packed more for that period, likewise she has reduced non-academic activities during her test week.  The end of the month will give a clearer picture but I am quite sure that she has made good progress both on how to make a plan as well as delivering on the plan!

This experience made me feel really good on two counts- first, on how much learning she derived from the first month’s experience- at the risk of sounding clichéd, ultimately, experience is the biggest teacher, not lectures, however well-meaning they are! Second, I had grown up in this time as well; I had resisted my tendency to jump in, and instead tried to remain in the background, allowing her to deal with the challenges of managing multiple goals.

As a parent, letting go is not easy and I am hoping that small steps such as this will equip her better to deal with life more confidently and capably in the years to come.

Re-published with permission from the blog of ParentEdge, a bi-monthly parenting magazine that aims to expose parents to global trends in learning and partner with them in the intellectual enrichment of their children.

Everyone makes mistakes. Granted, some mistakes are more significant than others and harder to get over, but they are a part of life. How individuals deal with those mistakes is significant to their self-esteem. Children who are taught from an early age to admit to their mistakes understand that it’s not a crime to make one, and they seem to have the ability to cope much better with them. They recognize that a mistake was made and admit the error. . Most importantly, these children also develop a strategy to change the mistake and not do the same thing again.

The process of making and learning from mistakes is an extremely valuable life skill for everyone because learning involves risking. Every time children risk, they will not always succeed. But they tried something new and most likely learned from it as a result.

Children with low self-esteem deal with making a mistake quite differently. More often than not, these children use the experience to devalue themselves. Instead of looking at the error as an opportunity to learn, these children interpret the experience as a reason to quit and never try again. They view it as a devaluing and humiliating experience.

You can help your child cope with mistakes by first making sure they understand that everyone makes mistakes, even you. Own up to your own mistakes to teach them there’s no shame in making them. Make sure they understand that it’s okay to make mistakes. This presents a great opportunity to tell your child what you’ve learned to do differently the next time. Then, offer strategies to turn mistakes into learning opportunities.

In the process, you can provide your child with an opportunity to enhance their self-esteem and accept responsibility for the mistakes they make. Help your child to realize that the mistake is the problem, and not them. Then help them develop a positive plan for the next time around, and what they’ll do differently the next time to avoid making the same mistake again.