Pulling Hair! Hitting! Biting! It’s even possible that your child showed a fit of rage and lashed out or even hurt someone. Your child may have been bothered by some other aggressive child. If you’ve experienced these issues or situations, you’ve finally joined the crowd. Almost every parent struggles with helping and understanding the child when he hurts someone else. Most parents don’t even understand the underlying cause when their children are hit by others.

It can be a big shock when your sweet son or daughter suddenly throws something at someone or bites a new baby in the family. If you’re worried and need some help, you can learn a lot with the following guiding principles for relieving your child’s aggression. This will allow you to enjoy and relax with his siblings and friends.

 Helping Your Child Relieve Aggression 

 First of all, it is very important for you to understand that children never want to attack others. Most children just want to have some fun, feel loved and focus on their safety. Almost every child plays well when he feels connected. However, in some situations, children may completely lose their sense of connection. This can make them feel frightened, isolated or tensed.

When this happens, children may experience an emotional emergency, and lash out at other children or even adults. It is important to understand that children never intend to be cunning or mean. Most of the time, a child does not have any control over acts of aggression.

When a child feels safe enough to show his feelings, he would never hurt anyone intentionally. Children always feel a special bond with their caregiver or parents. Thus, when they feel attacked, they run to the nearest dear and loved one for attention and help. Most children start crying and try to release the knot of grief and fear they strongly feel. The person who listens to the child fall apart can give the perfect gift of love and care to allow him to heal from certain feelings which could be making life harder. When a child does not feel safe anymore, he may signal for help by relieving aggression in some form.

 Reasons for Being Aggressive 

A child who lashes out just feels sad, alone and frightened. However, this child does not look very frightened when he’s about to push, hit or bite. But his fears are always the underlying problem. His feelings are controlling his every action. Fear and threat robs a little child of his ability to feel that he also cares about others.

In such a situation, a child’s trusting nature is always crusted with a lot of different feelings. A child may be thinking that no one understands him or cares about him. If you pay some close attention, you will realize that such a feeling can easily drain a child’s face of sparkle and flexibility in the few seconds before he lashes out at someone.

 A child may experience these feelings of isolation. It won’t matter how close and loving the child’s parents are at other times. They will have to be considerate in this particular situation. There are even some children who are just occasionally aggressive and frightened. Other children feel a constant abiding sense of desperation and fear which comes from specific circumstances beyond any individual’s control. A lot of children acquire different kinds of fears and threats from medical treatments, difficult birth, unhappiness around them, family tensions and absence of loved ones from their lives. According to most psychologists, even a short period of frightening time in a child’s past can easily create hard feelings and aggression.

Caregivers and parents need to understand that they have tremendous power to help an aggressive child. It is also important to understand that a child’s aggression can’t ever be erased by simple enforcing your logical reasoning, punishments, timeouts or other such acts.

Similarly, some unnecessary incentives to control behavior may create intense feelings within your child’s heart. The underlying problem is the lack of connection a child feels with his loved ones. When you’re able to help a child see this connection, he will feel safe and secure. This will allow him to discuss his issues with you rather than just lashing out. Being considerate is the best way to help children with aggression.

There is a good reason why all moms encourage their toddlers to play as much as possible. The reason is grounded in scientific research. Studies show strong links between play and development of social and cognitive skills among toddlers. Such skills are vital for toddlers to be able to learn complex concepts when they are older. For instance, there is a link between play and growth/development in memory, oral language, self-regulations and symbol recognition. Play is also linked to improved literacy skills and social development as a whole. To get a more in-depth understanding on why it is important for toddlers to play, below are 10 ways toddlers prosper from play.

1. Play stretches a toddler’s imagination: Playtime for toddlers is a viewed as a chance to experiment and stretch imagination. During play, a toddler can fly, ride a unicorn, save the planet and be a ballet or a football star without any interruptions or restrictions. This stretches a toddler’s imagination which is very important for developing cognitive and social skills.

 2. Play promotes learning: Play also presents toddlers a perfect opportunity to learn by doing. As much as kids learn from seeing, it is equally important for them to learn by doing. Kids discover very many things about their surroundings during playful explorations. This helps in proper social development as well as self regulation. For instance, through play, a kid can learn to avoid high grounds because they might fall and injure themselves.

 3. Play helps in talent discovery and development: Playtime offers parents an excellent opportunity to discover and develop their kid’s talents. Kids love different games/activities. Without play, it would be very hard for parents to identify and develop their kid’s talents. Playtime also helps kids discover what they like doing on their own. In the process, kids can build confidence and self esteem.

 4. Play prepares toddlers for socialization: Playtime is an excellent opportunity for toddlers to interact with each other. Playtime also offers opportunities for sharing and taking turns. Such opportunities are perfect for making sure your kid is properly socialized for the future.

 5. Playtime helps toddlers work on their emotions: Toddlers have to learn from scratch how to deal with emotions such as sadness, anger and frustration otherwise such emotions may affect them negatively in the future. Playtime offers a perfect opportunity for a toddler to learn how to constructively deal with negative emotions.

 6. Play promotes language development: Playtime offers numerous opportunities for toddlers to talk to other friends, their toys i.e. dolls e.t.c. These are perfect opportunities for language development. As long as your kid is trying to talk or talking, they are definitely in the right language development path.

 7. Play empowers kids: Toddlers are usually brought up with numerous restrictions which are necessary for their own safety. For instance, a toddler will grow up knowing it’s not good to touch things. Although these restrictions are there for safety purposes, they can be very limiting, hindering experimentation which is very important for kids to develop properly. Play empowers kids to do whatever they want without restrictions.

 8. Play encourages creativity and problem solving: Kids are most creative when they are playing because they are free and empowered. Popular playtime activities like building forts, painting murals, dressing dolls, cooking imaginary foods e.t.c. are perfect for sparking creativity. These activities also help kids develop problem solving skills.

 9. Play develops fine motor and eye-hand coordination skills: Constructive play activities for kids i.e. using blocks, solving puzzles, buttoning doll clothes e.t.c. helps to develop fine motor and eye-hand coordination skills which is very important for developing more complex skills in the future.

 10. Play promotes fitness: Kid’s fitness is as important as adult fitness. In fact kid’s fitness is more important because it is capable of laying a solid foundation for a lifetime of fitness. For instance, most kid games are actually exercises disguised as fun. If your kid loves a certain physically engaging game i.e. football from a young age, the game is capable of laying a solid foundation for lifetime fitness which attracts a ton of health benefits.

In summary, the above information is adequate to help any parent understand why it is important for toddlers to play. Although there may be other benefits derived by toddlers during play, the above 10 benefits summarize the importance of playtime among toddlers perfectly.

In case you ever loved reading books as a youngster, you must know that the literary world has completely changed for this age group. The adolescent category of books didn’t even exist around 30 years ago. Currently, there are many different choices among readers who don’t want to focus on traditional books for older children, while avoiding completely adult books.

Inspite of so many choices, there’s been a crisis among readers. Children tend to lose their reading habit when they enter high school. This should not be ignored. There are some effective strategies to make sure this habit does not become permanent.

Basics of Reading

When a kid is in elementary school, reading is all about fun. Parents and schools focus on building some sense of excitement regarding books. Reading aloud in the class and organizing book fairs are some good ways to encourage a child and give him an opportunity to explore the literary world. However, something changes when a child enters middle school.

 Anne Reeves, Professor at Susquehanna University, has been doing some research in adolescent literature. She has covered many case studies and authored books on this issue. According to her, most of her students were avid readers when they were young, but stopped reading as they grew older. Most of the kids didn’t enjoy reading anymore. According to Reeves, when students enter middle schools, they don’t have the freedom to read something they choose. Most of their reading is related to subjects in which they may not have much interest. Therefore, they choose other options to spend their time. Hanging out with friends, video games, sports and clubbing becomes a priority, and books just take a backstep.

Steve Alten, Young-Adult author, also agrees with Reeves. He believes that when children get closer to high school, they are required to read classic novels or other subject books which may not be interesting or relevant to them. A teenager does not usually want to read 100 year old novels. Thus, reading does not seem like fun any longer.

Reeves believes that there should be a separate focus on curriculum for subject books and classic novels. They should not be a part of the mainstream reading curriculum. Teachers should be clear about the basic purpose of reading. They need to understand that reading helps young adults experience different lives, and understand different characters. When children have to read something in which they’re not interested, literature seems boring to them.

While reading needs to be enjoyable entertaining, the act of reading offers more benefits than just entertainment. In order to create lifelong readers, schools need to focus on teaching literature as projects that young minds appreciate. According to Steve Alten, the act of reading can be used to familiarize a child with the way words are spelled and grouped. It can also increase vocabulary. The act of reading is an ongoing process. It matures with the child’s age. Most educators don’t realize it, but reading can also be beneficial during state exams. Most of them require exceptional reading skills.

How to Make Reading a Lifelong Hobby for Your Child?

Parents can’t do a lot of things about the curriculum in schools. Schools are not willing to make any changes to their curriculum. However, there are some things parents can do to make sure their children like reading and makes it a lifelong hobby.  It is very important to focus on what children like to read. You should encourage them to explore more books, genres and authors. When Steve Alten’s first book was a hit among teenage readers, he received numerous emails from fans who told him they were excited to reach his book.

Alten also founded Adopt an Author, which aims to generate interest among teenagers about reading books. Adopt an Author also allows kids to directly contact their favorite authors. Even teachers can find resources on the site to build curriculum’s while taking into account the best selling young-adult books today.

The International Reading Association can also be a good source to get teenagers interested in reading books. Since 1989, the International Reading Association uses feedback from teenage readers every year to develop the Young Adults Choices Booklist. This is what most teenagers like, and it is likely that your child will like it too.

Most importantly, it is extremely important to continuously evaluate a child’ s reading level. You need to gather more information and knowledge about literature catering to their age and abilities. Cathy Denman, Chairperson of the Young Adult Choices Committee, believes that a young child may be an advanced reader to choose a book for teenagers. However, this may not be a good choice for your child’s overall social development.

For such kids, she believes classic literature aimed at teenagers of the past can be a good choice. Such books usually focus on more mature themes with challenging vocabulary. According to Cathy, the choice of a book depends on the child and his/her needs. However, most young-adult books are suitable for 7-12 grades.

Every parent, even when meaning the best, can make a mistake. However, some of these mistakes can badly impact the future of your child. This post contains seven mistakes that you should avoid at all costs if you want your child to grow up into an upright citizen.

The list, originally posted on Forbes, is from Dr. Tim Elmore, an expert on leadership. Dr. Elmore believes that when a child is pampered too much, it may prevent them from thriving and also from fulfilling their full potential as leaders of tomorrow .

He goes on to say that both fear and lack of understanding play a role here, but it leads to the fact that each generation of parents is usually compensating for something the previous generation did. The primary adults in kids’ lives today have focused on now rather than later. It’s about their happiness today not their readiness tomorrow.

Many parents of today had parents who were very serious regarding readying themselves for tomorrow. They saved more money and did not spend it unnecessarily. Also, they were more concerned about preparing themselves for retirement. This led to many of the current parents to respond with a totally different message which was a clarion call to live life to the fullest by embracing the moment.

Many people heeded the call. This is what has resulted in credit card debts as well as their powerlessness to delay gratification. However, this may not necessarily be our main challenge. But there is one inescapable reality: parents who are longsighted and therefore focused on the future produce better results compared to those who are focused on the moment.

Unknowingly, we could be:

1. Shielding our kids from risk
Although it is only fair that we protect our children, kids who grow into adults without going through pain or normal failures like skinned knees or breakups are predisposed to developing phobias, becoming highly arrogant and also suffering from low self-esteem.

2. Not allowing kids to solve problems by themselves
Parents think that they are helping their kids by rescuing them too quickly. Nothing can be farther from the truth. This deprives them of the opportunity to solve problems by themselves. They are likely to grow into adults who cannot solve problems on their own.

3. Praising them too much
Praising children too much may work where a child suffers from low self-esteem. However, adopting the mentality of “everyone gets a trophy” and consequently turning a blind eye to bad behaviour can cause the children to cheat and lie while being unable to deal with difficulties. Ensure that your praises are specific and not necessarily about ability but effort.

4. Spoiling them
The common practice by most parents is to give children what they ask for when rewarding them. This is especially so with multiple kids. If one child performs well in something, some parents think that it would be unfair to reward that child and leave out the rest. This way, the parents miss the chance to enforce the notion that success depends on one’s own actions as well as good deeds.

5. Failing to share your own struggle stories
Do not feel embarrassed to talk about your past mistakes and frustrations. In fact, opening up can help your kids become tough.

6. Mistaking talent and intelligence for maturity
Kids who are smart might seem older. However, this does not imply that they are ready emotionally or otherwise to deal with various aspects of their lives. Just because they seem bright does not mean you should start heaping responsibilities on their young shoulders.

7. Not shaping how we want our children to be
For instance, we fail to instill the notion of “do as I say, not as I do”

While most of the tips above are essentially common-sense parenting tips, many parents easily fall into the short-term parenting trap rather than thinking of the future. The goal is to coach your child and not to coddle him. You want a child who can stand up for themselves even if left alone. Avoid the actions above and you will raise a child who is better prepared to meet life’s uncertainties.