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What to Do when Kids Ask Tough Questions

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kids asking parents

Kids ask questions. Whenever they want, wherever they like. They ask because they are curious. They ask because they think you know.

If they knew that they can get those answers somewhere else, they would do that. (Let us face it, sooner or later that is bound to happen.)

The reason why we get irritated with kids and their questions is that, often, we do not know the answers. In addition we do not want to admit that we do not know. Either to the kid or to ourselves.

But there is a nice way out.

Let us imagine a scenario – my grandson has asked me a question about the stars. And I do not know the answer.

“Arhan, Thatha does not know the answer. What should we do?”

“I don’t know”

“Should we ask Amma about it? Or should we look up some book? Or may be the computer?”

“Computer?”

“OK, let us check the computer.. “

We sit together and I enter his question in my search window in the browser. As I type I keep talking about what I am doing.

“I now open my laptop and I click on this red, yellow, green and blue button. (That is the Chrome Icon). And now I have to type your question here..”

We search couple of sites and let us say we found what he wanted. The matter need not stop there.

“OK when Daddy gets back from work we will tell him about your question & how you found the answer. Shall we do that?”

“Yes”

“Will you tell him? Sometimes Thatha may forget things.”

“OK I will tell him.”

“What will you tell him?”

The experience is still fresh in his mind and Arhan would describe what we did, in his own words. Therefore he will remember it well

I could follow this up with a question to Arhan that evening, for which Arhan has no answer. So I ask “What do we do? You want try the computer?”. If he says yes, ask him tell you what to do.

Every time a child asks a question, there is a great opportunity to bond with the child and discover something together. It will be a shame to miss it.

Re-published with permission from the blog of ParentEdge, a bi-monthly parenting magazine that aims to expose parents to global trends in learning and partner with them in the intellectual enrichment of their children. This blog was written by Sridhar Ramanathan, Strategic Innovation Coach.

What parents can teach their kids about Mandela

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The world is mourning the death of Nelson Mandela, an extraordinary man, a symbol of strength, dignity, leadership, survival and courage. Our children’s generation (many of whom were born after Mandela was freed), cannot even comprehend the 27 years of imprisonment he suffered and how he was able to win freedom for his country, the last remnant of European colonialism and the symbol of the dreaded apartheid. In telling the story of this great man to our children, there are several lessons we can impart:

1. The courage to hang in there:  what you think is difficult is almost negligible compared to what Mandela went through.  Unlike most political prisoners, Mandela was treated as an ordinary prisoner and given hard and menial tasks, and even contracted TB as a result.  But as Mandela himself said, “Difficulties break some men but make others.” About his persistence, he said, “Do not judge me by my successes, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again.”

2. Do not hate:  Mandela would have been fully justified if he can come out of prison filled with hate. What is extraordinary is that he bore very little ill feeling towards his captors, saying, “No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.”  This is so true for us parents, and we should use the story of Mandela to show how hate and bigotry should be shunned.

3. The importance of education:  If Mandela could get a law degree in prison, in spite of working under  back-breaking conditions breaking rocks in the lime quarry, clearly he saw tremendous value in it, realizing that  “Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.”  We should teach our children to make education a priority, and that is  only long-term and peaceful way to change the world.

RIP Madiba.

Re-published with permission from the blog of ParentEdge, a bi-monthly parenting magazine that aims to expose parents to global trends in learning and partner with them in the intellectual enrichment of their children.This blog was written by Gayatri Kulkarni

5 Tourist Places to Visit in India with Your Children

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5 tourist places

It’s December and holiday season is here which means it is family vacation time! It is time to pack yours and your children’s bags and head out for an adventure. Vacations are a great way for you to de-stress and bond with your kids and at the same it can be a great learning experience for them. Learning about a new place, new language, new food and new culture will be exciting and enriching for them. They will even get a great topic to write about in their next essay assignment – ‘What I did over my winter break’! But, more than anything else vacations are a great way to reconnect with your family – school, work and other chores usually take up so much of our time and effort that is difficult to find room for special family moments. A trip is a great way to make up for lost time. There are no distractions on a vacation – just you and your family having a gala time!

So, here is a list of places that you can head to this December:

1) Pondicherry: If you are looking for a place that is quiet, pristine, and beautiful and has beaches, then Pondicherry is the place for you! It was host to the largest French colony in India which means this place has a rich cultural heritage as well. Your kids can have fun while getting to learn something new! Visit the Sri Aurobindo Ashram for a spiritual experience where you can learn about the great guru’s practices and vision. And when it comes to food you must go to the quaint French restaurants and cafes!

2) Kanyakumari: Also known as Cape Comorin, Kanyakumari lies at the southernmost tip of India and is one of the most popular tourist destinations. Famous for pilgrimage, its temples are well-known all over the world. People don’t just come here for religious or spiritual purpose, but also to witness the beauty and the stunning architecture of the temples. Make sure you watch the spectacular sunset and sunrise during this month!

3) Kullu Manali: If you want to experience true winter with snow fights, snow angels and snow sports, then head to Manali. Bathed in snow, the Himalayas makes for a magical tourist destination. The snow-capped mountains will take your breath away! Have an adventurous holiday with your family with rafting, paragliding, rock climbing and skiing.

4) Puri: One of the Char Dhams, Puri is a great destination place for some spiritual learning – for you and your children as well. Not only is it a great place to learn about our heritage with historical temples and shrines, but it is also a great place to revel in the beauty of nature. Especially in the month of December, this city is full of greenery. Beaches are an added benefit! A must-visit place is the Chilka Lake which is the biggest inland salt-water lagoon.

5) Jaipur: Old forts, palaces and other heritage structures – experience India’s rich culture in this beautiful city of Rajasthan which is known for its hospitality. This pink city is also known for its great shopping and delicious food! Make sure you visit Jantar Mantar, Hawa Mahal and JalMahal for an exotic trip!

Teach Your Kids How to Handle Money

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downloadIt is never too early or late to teach your child about the value of money. If they can count and are getting pocket money, then it is time to introduce them to money values. Money usually involves decision-making and teaching them how to save, what to invest on early on will help them make wise investment choices later on in life. No matter how young (in fact the sooner you teach them about money the better it is), every child needs to learn how to handle money responsibly. Impart the basic knowledge and let them decide on their budget (with your supervision of course!). Give them a free hand once in a while as well – let them indulge. They are kids after all!

Nowadays children are quite knowledgeable; they know what an ATM is for, they know that their parents get salary for the work that they do and they are also aware of how much the latest gadget costs. They might not grasp the full extent of the ‘money system’, but they know enough. And as parents, it is up to you to show them the right path. Even banks have started saving accounts for children – you can teach them about savings by opening an account for them first.

Here are some other tips to help them learn about the value of money:

 1) Don’t just give them pocket money every week with no strings attached. Ask them to do chores around the house – this way they will learn that you have to earn your money. By working hard for their money, it is more likely that they will not be reckless with it. In addition they will respect your decision when you don’t buy them everything that they ask for.

 2) Teach them to divide their money into parts – a part to spend, a part to save and a part to grow. For the grow part, you can offer to put in a certain amount of money for every ‘x’ amount of money your child puts in.

 3) Help them learn the difference between needs and wants so that they can make good decisions when it comes to spending their money.

 4) One way to help them save is to match their savings with a certain amount of money. If there is a toy that they really want, tell them you will put in the rest of the money if they can save ‘x’ amount themselves.

 5) When you give them allowances, give them in denominations – this way it is easier for them to divide the money for savings and expenses purpose.

 Allow them to make their spending decisions even if sometimes they are making the wrong choice. This way they will learn the value of money by making their own decisions – present the pros and cons to them and then let them be the best judge.

How a Reward System Can Help You Raise Better Kids

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reward-chart

Parenthood is one of the toughest jobs to do! Raising kids can be scary and parents usually lose sleep over how their child is going to turn out. To teach them responsibility and good behaviour, a good reward system can prove to be quite useful and you can catch your forty winks in peace! So what is a reward system?

Every time your child does something ‘good’, give them a reward. This will not only show your appreciation and make them proud, but it will also motivate them to keep up the good habits in future.

For example a reward system can be used when they do well in their exams, when they clean their room, make their beds, put toys away or help you around in the house. A special reward can also be given for children who have been nice to other children in the school or donated their old clothes/toys to charity.

Here are few ideas on what kind of rewards you can give your child:

1) Give them stars to put up on their wall. Every time they do something you appreciate, they earn a star. You can have different coloured stars, different sized stars – each denoting something. For example a red star could be for acing their exams, a yellow for being polite.

2) Put up a sticker chart in their room. Let them earn the stickers (choose the kinds your child likes) and allow them to decorate their charts. Not only will they be motivated to earn those stickers, but it will also become a fun activity for them!

3) Make the ‘stars’ or ‘stickers’ system even more interesting by giving them an exchange offer. For example they can earn coupons in return for an ‘x’ number of stars. For example 5 red stars = DVD of their favourite movie or 3 stickers = stay over at a friend’s place. Take suggestions from them as to what they want in return.

4) You can even have a point system. Reward them with points ranging from 1-10 depending on the magnitude of their good behaviour and when they reach 100 give them something special and big like a picnic, movie marathon day, a trip to the zoo etc.

5) Let your children earn privileges like watching TV, playing video games, going out with friends etc. First they will be motivated to earn these privileges and they would appreciate these things more when it comes with hard work!

You will be surprised how well these reward systems work. Try it out!

Ten Effective Ways to Equip Your Child With Numeracy Skills

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numeracy pic 24th- Tues

 

Numeracy skills play a big role in a child’s life. Literacy and education are incomplete without numeracy skills. Children below five years old are at their peak and this is the time when they can absorb and retain basic numeracy skills more efficiently. And as they grow learning numbers becomes easier for them.

So what are numeracy skills?

Simply put it is the ability of a person to use and understand numbers which include knowing basic subtraction, addition, division and multiplication. Many a time in life, one faces mathematical demands and basic numeracy skills are what get us through. The lack of knowledge of numbers can have a negative impact on our lives.

So, start early and equip your child with the much needed numeracy skills. Make numbers fun for them and the best part is you can teach them anytime and anywhere!

Here are some tips that can make learning math fun and simple for your child:

1)      Games are the best way to teach them mathematics at home – cards, dominoes and other board games like Ludo and Snakes & Ladders that involve counting can come quite in handy.

2)      Ask your kids to count their pocket money at the end of every month. How much did they get, how much did they spend and how much did they save?

3)      Make going to school also a game of mathematics. Your school starts at 8:00 a.m. You need to reach by 7:45 and your home is 30 minutes away. So, what time do you need to leave to reach by 8:00? Let them figure these out on their own and in the meanwhile learn too!

4)      While travelling ask your children to notice car numbers and to add them up as quickly as they can.

5)      Get a packet of Gems and empty the contents. Let your child count how many candies of each colour are there. For example how many reds and how many yellows. Which colour is more and by how many numbers?

6)      You can do this with laundry as well – ask them to separate the whites from the colours and count how many are there in each category.

7)      Help them memorize your phone number and show them how to dial it on the phone.

8)      Mark important dates on the calendar and help them count how many days left until the next important day.

9)      Measure your child’s height every month and ask them to calculate how much they are growing and compare the height to other people in the house. Who is shorter and who is taller?

10)   Also help them learn about shapes while reading a book, or playing in the park or while visiting places.

A few simple tips to keep in mind and you can help develop your child’s numeracy skills!

Top 5 Books You Should Read to Your 4 – 7 Year Old

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One of the greatest gifts you can give your child is the gift of reading. Toddlers start to learn how to differentiate between letters and how each letter sounds – this is possible only when you constantly read to them. And by the time they turn 6 or 7, your children will be reading on their own!

For this you need to introduce to them books that are fun with simple and easy to understand story lines.

Read slowly to them so they understand each word clearly. Use different tones of voices and expressions – not only will this be fun for them, but it will also help them understand the meaning of words easily.

Here is a list of great books that can help your toddler:

1) Madeline by Ludwig Bemelmans

This book is about a brave little girl and her adventurous trip to the hospital. She isn’t afraid of mice or lions and she definitely wasn’t going to get disturbed by a little appendix! The author cleverly tells this story in a rhyme format making it entertaining and appealing to children.

2) Green Eggs and Ham by Dr. Seuss

Dr. Seuss is the best author for children’s stories and this is one of his best-selling books! Written for beginners, the text and storyline is simple and fun for a toddler to read. And the unique thing about this book is that it consists of only fifty different words! The story is about a grumpy man who refuses to eat green eggs and hams and it is presented in a rhyme format making it fun to read!

3) The Little Engine That Could by Watty Piper

This story is about a blue little engine that takes on a task of pulling a train over a high mountain while other larger engines refuse to do so. All the while the engine chants the famous phrase, “I think I can”. Not only the beautiful illustrations and sweet story line fascinate your child, but it will also teach them the value of perseverance at such an early age. A great read, this book is a must have in your toddler’s book shelf.

4) What Do People Do All Day? by Richard Scarry

Beautiful illustrations with big, bold colours – this book tells what people do all day; how they build houses, grow food and sail ships. The story shows the lives of busy people and with the help of drawings it also shows how they go about doing these jobs. Simple story with a beautiful backdrop, this story with its amazing sense of humour will definitely catch your child’s attention!

5) The Mitten by Jan Brett

From the author of Goldilocks and the Three Bears, comes the sweet story of a boy who loses his mitten in the snow which then becomes a refuge for many animals. The detailed artwork and the drawings of the animals will be an absolute delight for your child. It makes for a great bedtime story!

If these books are not in your child’s library yet, then make sure you pick them up today. Happy reading!

To Praise or Not to Praise

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I have grown up on a diet of healthy praise. Especially from my father

In many families praise does not come easily to people. Even if something is good, it would be treated in a matter-of-fact manner.

Let me give you an example. My mother was a good cook. On some days her sambhar would simply be out of the world. We kids would praise the sambhar and say “Good”.

However my father would say “Oh, our daughter & son-in-law are coming for lunch is it?”

Whenever my sister and her husband came home, the sambhar was indeed special. Hence this would be the way we would all tease her ‘special’ sambhar on an ordinary day.

My mother would laugh it off but I could make out that she was really pleased.

For a long time I thought that praise was natural in all families, but soon discovered it was not so. For instance in my classmate’s family his father would never praise anything my friend did, even if it was outstanding.

His father belonged to the school which said “Never praise your son to his face, because it will go to his head.”

There is a theory that if we praise a child often, he will get used to the praise and start craving for it. Therefore the child will start doing things just to get that word of praise.

I beg to differ. If our praise is authentic, and well communicated then I do not believe that any child will get ‘addicted’ to praise and crave for it.

Take a look at this situation.  My wife and I are on a visit to our daughter’s place. It is a Saturday morning and starts in a nice leisurely way. Her husband is busy fixing something in the garage and I am playing with her two sons (6 & 4).  My wife is in the kitchen chatting with our daughter. Our daughter gets a call from her friend to check whether they could drop in that evening; it seems fine. When the visitors arrive in the evening – husband, wife one kid (6 years old), we are all at home. Within minutes our grandsons take the kid to their play room and get busy. I am curious to see what they do so I excuse myself and go to the play room to observe the kids. There is a lot of play, sharing, some fights, but on whole the kids seem to have fun.

After the visitors leave, I ask our grandsons

“So was that fun?”.

They shout a cheerful “Yes” in a chorus.

Then they tell me what happened and how they played etc.

“I wish I was a kid too” I said.

“Why Thatha?”

“So I can have so much fun playing with you.”

Both the kids came gave me a big hug.

When the kids went back to their play our daughter asked me “Did you notice what happened?”

“No. What happened?”

“When you said ‘I wish I was a kid, so I could play with you’, you acknowledged that they are nice kids to play with.   But you said it with feeling and they could make out you meant it.”

“How do you know?”

“That is why they gave you a big hug, Appa.”

“OK, but I am not getting the hang of what you want to say.”

“It is just this. Praise is not about words. It is a genuine acknowledgement of someone’s good work. It is a reinforcement of their belief in doing the right things. Kids do a lot of good things instinctively. All we have to do is to let them know that they are doing right.”

“So praise is good?”

“Of course praise is good when it is genuine and authentic. As long as you don’t make it as part of some carrot & sticks formula.”

So to praise or not praise is NOT the question.

The question  is “When to praise and how to praise authentically”

Re-published with permission from the blog of ParentEdge, a bi-monthly parenting magazine that aims to expose parents to global trends in learning and partner with them in the intellectual enrichment of their children.

Top Five Books You Should Read to Your 3 Year Old Baby

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toddler-books

Don’t you just love the moments when you can curl with a book and read to your child? But, you may wonder what good might reading do for your baby who is barely 3 years old.

Here is the fascinating thing. Reading to your baby from such a young age will actually help him/her develop listening skills. They might not understand what you are saying but the sound of your voice can be quite stimulating for their growth. And as they grow, reading will become an inherent part of their lives.

What’s more…it is also a great moment of ‘bonding’! Create warm fuzzy memories of a great book that will make you and your family laugh, cry, gasp, wonder – something that you and your child will reminisce years down the lane.

Here are some great choices of books for your 0-3 year old baby:

1) Goodnight Moon by Margaret Wise Brown

A beautiful children’s story with dreamy illustrations, this book is perfect when you are trying to put your little one to sleep. Read out in your most soothing voice and wish everyone – the room, the moon, the clock, the socks, the chairs etc. – a goodnight!This classic modern children’s literature has been a best-seller for years and has been putting babies to sleep for generations!

2) The Very Hungry Caterpillar by Eric Carle

Distinctive illustrations and a sweet storyline have made this book “one of the greatest childhood classics of all time.” It follows the story of a caterpillar that eats everything on its way and finally grows into a beautiful butterfly! This beautiful picture book is a must for your baby’s early collection.

3) Pat the Bunny by Dorothy Kunhardt

This book was way ahead of its time. Not only did it tell a story and entertain children, it also had ‘touch and feel’ elements to it – it was unique then, it is unique now! This interactive book will have your children quite excited and fascinated. On one page they can pat the fake fur of the rabbit and on the next the ‘scratchy face’ of their dad. No wonder ‘Pat the Bunny’ became one of the fastest selling books ever!

4) Corduroy by Don Freeman

Every child wants his/her toys to come to life and take them on a fun adventure! Well, here is a story of a very lovable teddy bear that comes to life and explores the wonders of the department store. With a happy ending, this exciting journey of a teddy bear is definitely going to win your child’s heart!

5) Freight Train by Donald Crews

With larger and easy-to read texts, this book is a great way of introducing words to your children. Beautiful and bold illustrations make it even more exciting for toddlers. The Freight Train is a great book to read to your child (especially if they love trains). You can make train noises while reading it to them and have a whole lot of fun! Choo Choo..!

Tips to Make Your Child’s Birthday More Special

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children at birthday party

Birthdays are always special. It is that time of the year which brings out the child in everyone. No matter what your age, everybody wants to get pampered and get that special attention!

And as a child the excitement is more! As parents it is up to you to make their day extra special and memorable – give them something that they will cherish all their lives.

So how can you do that? Besides a huge birthday bash there are things that you can do right from the beginning of the day.

First of all take a day off from work – let your child know that nothing is more important than him/her and work can take a backseat when it comes to their special day!

This is how you can start their day:

1) Quietly wake them up at 12:00 midnight (something children don’t do normally so it can be quite exciting for them!) and wish them happy birthday and tell them how special they are. Then tuck them back in and kiss them goodnight.

 2) Prepare a special breakfast for your child. Whip up their favourite pancakes and put a smiley face. With chocolate or maple syrup write happy birthday on their plate.

 3) Dress them up in new clothes and head to an orphanage, an old age home or a pet shelter. Let them start the day on a good note. Birthdays usually involve getting gifts from people and sometimes kids can get cranky when they don’t get what they want. Not only will they be more grateful for what they have but they will also share the gift of love and laughter with others who aren’t as fortunate.

 Make them proud of themselves on their special day!

 4) You can then take them for a movie or to the park for some special family time before the party begins and all your friends come over.

 5) Buy a range of small inexpensive gifts and arrange a treasure hunt. It will be a fun birthday activity! Save the best gift for the party.

6) While you and your spouse may have arranged for everything for the party, leave some things to do for your child as well. He/she can decorate the party hats or the balloons – a fun arts and crafts thing to do. They can proudly display their art work at the party later!

 7) Then comes time for the birthday party – have fun games, great food and nice music organised.

8) Once it is all over and all guests have gone home you will be left with a tired yet a very happy child. Tuck them in and don’t forget to tell them how special they are.

 Have a great birthday for the apple of your eye!