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Fostering a Love for Learning in your Child

August 28, 2014 By: Bril

So, your child does not sit in one place when it’s time for homework? Let us rewind back to the time when the child was a toddler. If you spend a fair bit of time with the child early on, reading, telling stories, writing or just listening as the child was trying to piece sentences together, chances are, you are not going to have to deal with this problem later. If you have been able to get the child into a routine of reading or any other form of age-appropriate learning, the love for learning has in all likelihood, already developed. The child now sees ‘studying’ to learn new things as a way of life and does not find it a chore to sit for completing homework.

The more involved a parent is in the child’s everyday efforts at learning something new, the more likely the child might be to take to learning naturally. Being appreciated for learning a new thing fosters the will and ability to learn more.

So, how does one inculcate the habit of ‘homework’ even though there is no homework when the child is in pre-school? Here are some tips for parents to experiment with:

a) Invest in Workbooks: Not all parents are internet savvy and not all might want to download worksheets from popular websites or from the school portal. If you are one of those, invest in buying some good workbooks from book shops. Sit the child down everyday, at least once a day, even if it is for 15 minutes and get the child to complete a set of chosen pages.

b) Allow the child to choose: Dictating the routine is important but dictating what a child needs to study when is not critical in pre-school. Allow the child to choose one of a few types of things to do. You might be surprised how soon a child’s talent for words or numbers is apparent. Encourage the child by awarding stars or paste stickers to acknowledge a job well done.

c) Make learning integral to everyday activities: Holidays don’t have to mean no workbooks. There are times when holidays are packed with social visits but then there are some when the child has ample time. Weekends can be fun learning time when the child is experimenting with cut vegetables or fruits or flour shapes or other such indulgences that need a lot of time and hence are tough to manage on a weekday.

d) Make every travel a learning experience: We learn a lot while traveling. It is important to make that learning process conscious for the child too. Every travel can include an opportunity to play games that are portable and fun.

e) Be excited about learning: If you catch yourself making statements like ‘No homework today! Yeah!’, you are indeed, making a child believe that getting homework is not cause of celebration but lack of it is. Who then, is, instilling the feeling in a child that homework is unwanted and is a burden?

A child learns best via role modeling. Love to learn and a child will follow suit.

Re-published with permission from the blog of ParentEdge, a bi-monthly parenting magazine that aims to expose parents to global trends in learning and partner with them in the intellectual enrichment of their children. This blog was written by Namrataa Arora Singh. After 14 years of working as a Talent Development expert in the Corporate world, Namrataa Arora Singh decided to re-invent her career. A Certified Professional Coach (CPC) from the International Coach Academy (Australia), Namrataa has been coaching women across the globe for the last 6 years.

Image Source: [freedigitalphotos.net]

Coping with Cyber Bullying: What Every Parent Needs to Know

July 18, 2014 By: Bril

When you and I were in school we might have experienced bullying, either personally or from a distance, in the classroom, the playground or recess time. For our children today, bullying has taken on another dimension…the virtual dimension. This is something that you and I as adults may not even be aware of. But parents, this is out there and it is REAL for our children, especially our tweens and teens. Part of the reality is that digital technology and the internet play a huge part in the lives of our children as they use it for school assignments and their social life. This social connectivity can be online or via their mobiles, be it on Facebook, Twitter, Whatsapp and other social media sites.

So, what is Cyber Bullying?

Cyber Bullying has been defined as when a child, preteen or teen is tormented, threatened, harassed, humiliated, embarrassed or otherwise targeted by another child, preteen or teen using the Internet, interactive and digital technologies or mobile phones.

It can include abusive texts and emails, hurtful messages, images or videos imitating others, excluding others online, nasty online gossip and chat.

The fact that cyber bullying can happen 24/7 [and not just in person], can be done in anonymity, and once out there can go viral, makes cyber bullying even more damaging than traditional face-to-face bullying.

As a parent what should I know?

The first thing is for you to get acquainted with your child’s cyber world. Find out where your children surf, what are the popular social sites amongst kids and talk to your kids about the possibility of cyber bullying and safety. Do reinforce that even if they see a post that is targeted at another child, by their ‘liking/ sharing/forwarding’ it they are guilty of cyber bullying by association.

The next thing is to look for signs that might point to your child being cyber bullied. Some of these might be:

Changes in online behaviour– is your child suddenly spending less time online? Has he asked you about closing down his account, or about security features to block others out?
Distress– does your child become annoyed, upset, stressed or angry after he has been online? Has his school attendance or performance reduced?
Secrecy–does your child act secretively when using the internet or phone? Does he close down the computer when you walk into the room?

Also Read: Keeping your Kids Safe Online

As a parent how can I help if my child is being cyber bullied?

If you worry that your child is being cyber bullied, talk to him. Assure him that you are on his side, that he did not do something wrong and he does not deserve to be bullied. Here are some tips you could share with him:

Do not respond or retaliate. Tell him to talk to you about it, rather than ‘letting off steam’ online by seeking revenge online. It could make things worse and he might be accused of cyberbullying.
Tell him to block the bully and change his privacy settings. With your help he can also report this to the site administrator and the school authorities.
Help him save these abusive messages as evidence, like phone messages, print emails or social networking conversations/photos. He can also tell their friends that might be privy to these messages to collect this too.
Encourage him to be involved in anti-cyber bullying campaigns. There are many such initiatives online. This will give him a sense of control and empowerment. If he knows of a friend being bullied, remind him not to join in. If he feels confident, he should also stand up for his friend online.

Bottom line, parents you have to be aware and get familiar with the virtual world that your child is a part of. In this case, ignorance is not bliss!

Happy Parenting!

A Bedtime Story for A New Day

July 16, 2014 By: Bril

Children love stories. All of our childhood, we thrived on bed-time stories from The Mahabharata,The Bible, Akbar Birbal and the Panchatantra. Sadly, technology has overtaken story books. Severalkids of today are just interested in thumbing through an I-Pad story by themselves, where visuals arefed into their brains. There is little space for imagination. There is no wonder or excitement of whatis coming next!

Bed-time stories help cultivate a bond with the story teller, it helps form a bed-time routine and nurture a child’s imagination and the capability to follow threads of conversation. Picking out a story is a rather difficult task than one would have imagined. There is violence and wickedness in so many story books we reviewed.

An important point, to bear in mind while choosing bed-time stories for children, is to weed out violence. We need to be more aware of the story books we choose for our children.

Today, many people live in fear. Boys and girls are caught up in this negative way of thinking becausethe stories they hear are filled with violence and terrorism that destroy human relationships. This negativity creeps into even bed-time stories meant for innocent children.

A brand new book, The Rainbow Chronicles: A Bedtime Story for a New Day offers a positive alternative. Dads and sons, moms and daughters can read this book and make the story grow into something beautiful.

The story is based upon a world where old and young people believe in sharing and caring for each other. It sets positive example by portraying adults as role models who inspire young people to live joy-filled, positive lives. In this story, Wilby, the protagonist sets out to find the end of the Rainbow before it is too late. This stories help build faith, prayers, and effort of young people to spread the love of Humanity, like petals of the dark-purple tulips, so that future generations will wake up to a better day.

Each of us is invited to welcome the virtues of love, sweet nature and empathy. No matter what belief system, physical appearance, gender, age, family background, race, or ethnic heritage, whether married or single, I encourage you to make a difference for good in the way you and your
family touch the lives of others through loving actions.

So, what is coming next? More dinosaurs or more flowers? A desert or a garden? In many ways, it’s up to you! Make sure to buy, read and act on this book. May you bring the Rainbow’s End home to yourself, your family, neighbourhood, and community, your place of worship, and yes, to the ends of our earth. May you strive to help others write The Rainbow Chronicles in their lives. May the breath of the Almighty, the Holy Spirit, always whisper love within you and through you.

Is A Hidden Nanny Camera The Right Way To Go?

July 16, 2014 By: Bril

There are very few reasons why you should not get a hidden nanny camera and tons of reasons why you should get one.

A hidden nanny camera can save the life of your child and for that reason alone I think that it is a very good idea for all parents to consider getting one. Whether they actually have a nanny or if they just hire a babysitter from time to time, it is just as important in either of the cases. Kids are delicate and they need to be treated with utmost care. That means that they need to be treated with respect and they need to be protected form physical and emotional neglect or violence. Sadly, the fact of the
matter is that you don’t know what goes on in your home when you are not there.

Even if your child does not have any cuts or bruises that does not mean that he or she is not being abused. Only a good quality hidden nanny camera is going to show you what the nanny is doing when you are away and it is just the nanny and the baby at home.

Do you know how often your nanny or babysitter yells at your child or children? Probably not. It is not like you can ask him or her; the nanny is obviously not going to tell you that all she does is yell all day long!

And if your child is very young he or she is not going to be any help either, but a hidden nanny camera would be. When you have a hidden nanny camera in your home nothing is going to be a secret any longer, you will know exactly what is happening when you are not there. Either you will finally have your mind put to rest about the quality of care that this nanny is providing or you will find out that she is terrible and fire her immediately. Either way you win, you simply cannot go wrong when you purchase a hidden nanny camera.

There are a few different kinds of hidden nanny camera on the market today. Some are as small as pins and they can be hidden absolutely anywhere and the nanny will never detect it. There was a time when they were all hidden in teddy bears, well that is done, now you can hide them in pictures, fire alarms, in the VCR, absolutely anywhere that will give you a good view of the room is a great
place to put your hidden nanny camera.

And since they are all so tiny now this is beyond simple to do. Having a good hidden nanny camera is the only way to know that your child is safe when you are not home. Safety is the most important thing for your child. So take care of the life and wellbeing of your baby and get a hidden nanny camera.

Sure Shot Ways to Help Your Child Overcome Separation Anxiety

July 16, 2014 By: Bril

Picture these scenarios:

Scenario 1:

Your child is playing with a favourite toy and you are in the same room. The phone rings and you duck out to get it. You hear your child screaming for you the moment you pick up the phone.

Scenario 2:

You are getting your child in the car seat for the school, or you could be taking her to the bus stop. Everything is fine until the point of separation arrives. You child clings to you and cries woefully making your heart bleed, as you turn away and hoping she will be fine soon.

Both the scenarios are classic examples of separation anxiety. Your little one is struggling between his need for independence and his eternal bond with you, his mother, who was his very lifeline for 9 months. While children at this age are curious about new experiences and things around them, they want to experience all that from the warmth and safety of their mother’s embrace or presence.

So what can you do to help your child ease out of separation anxiety? Here are a few pointers that will help you along the way:

1. Start out small. Let them play in the living room as you go to the next room (which needs to be visible to the child) to do a certain task like folding clothes. Make sure you keep eye-contact with your child and keep reassuring that mom is right here. Speak in positive, upbeat words. The first time may not work, but just keep repeating yourself and do it over and over until they are fine with you being in the next room.

2. Remember, this may not work till over a month. The key is to be consistent and to always come back to the child after a short time. Start with 30 seconds. If your child starts crying count to 10 and then show your presence to the baby. Hug her and let her know you missed her, but that you will always return. Gradually you can increase the time if the child seems to sense your absence after longer intervals. If you live alone, this will take longer to achieve. But when there is dad or another caregiver present, it will help you increase the absences faster as the child is taken care of and can be distracted. Eventually you should be able to go the grocery store and be back after half an hour to 40 minutes with the child having not missed your absence.

3. By taking things slowing, it will help you and your child overcome separation anxiety with much less tears, heartbreak and stress. The baby will continue to grow her independence from you and will soon love her new found freedom of having playtime with dad, grandma or grandpa, or other special friend.With that being said, please avoid sneaking out. Though this may feel like a safe option, the moment your child discovers you are missing, he will feel abandoned and will dread every time you leave him to go out. Always say a bye before you leave and re-assure that you will come back.

Hang in there moms! It will get better, and know that other moms are going through the same thing as you right now.

Entertaining Kids For Free – Good Weather

July 16, 2014 By: Bril

A trip to the mall is always met with applause by children in a typical 20th century household.And why not!? There are entertainment zones that have rides, bouncing castles, toy trains, simulating games and the works! It is a perfect place for your child to be entertained. This scenario is a far cry from our childhood, when there were no theme parks or malls that had such great entertainment
system just for kids. But do you also know that such entertainment does not stimulate or nurture your child’s imagination. This is only spoon-fed visual entertainment, with little or no room for imagination that is very important for any child’s development.

The best entertainment is free entertainment that is provided by nature. Free entertainment stimulates their minds more and tires them out if they enjoy it. If they are simply distracted by rides and toys they switch off and then lack enough imagination to entertain their own.

A fantastic way to do this is to plan a Park Walk Activity when the weather is nice. All you need is a picnic basket with nibbles and a couple of sealable plastic bags. This activity is great for getting your child to take an active interest in nature. Find a good park near your house that has enough trees, shrubs, flowers and shade to rest. Start early so that you can wrap up by the time it gets sunny. Start your walk and see how many different things you can find. There is no need to rush the kids. Let them take it all in at their own space. Let it be a leisure walk rather than an activity that has a start and a finish. You could simply guide your children by picking out leaves or flowers that you like and carefully putting them inside the re-sealable plastic bag. Tell them you want to take it home and put it in your room. Your kids are sure to follow your suit. Make sure you don’t pick too many. One of each will be fine.

When you do this more than once, you will notice your children brining back bags full of moss from the trees, different twigs, berries and nuts, various leaves and flowers, small stones and feathers.

Whatever you can find you can collect. Let your child get interested in the surroundings and discover new things on their own.

A picnic basket is great to break up the walk when you feel your child has walked enough for one time.

When you get home get a large piece of paper and some glue and see what scenes you can make from what you have collected. Younger children will enjoy sticking things on randomly and maybe doing a bit of colouring around it as well. Older children could try and make a picture out of the things they have in the bag.

Nursery admissions: Trial Time For Parents

June 18, 2014 By: Bril

It is that time of the year again when one can see queues and queues of anxious parents waiting to obtain admission forms of the reputed schools for their wards. The time when parents wanting the best for their wards are busy making the rounds of numerous schools, discussing with parents of school-going children, searching the Internet, basically doing everything in their hands to get their wards in one of the best schools in their area. So here are some of the pointers that parents need to keep in mind while joining in the race to get your ward admitted to a reputed school.

Top six schools in your area:

These days lots of schools have cropped up, all bearing either the ‘world school’ or ‘international school’ tags, thus confusing first time parents of ready-to-go-to school kid. However, the trick here is to get the school brochure, go through it thoroughly and speak to other parents in your area about the education system – whether it is based on CBSE, ICSE or International Baccalaureate (IB). So the first and foremost step should be identifying the top six schools in your area, and then fill out the forms. If I had my way when my son Prince A started schooling I would have skipped the top three schools and gone for the fourth one. Why? Because I feel that the fourth school would have had better teacher-student ratio, which sadly is not the case with top most schools – 44 to 45 students to 1 teacher is not a good ratio (at least not in my terms). But unfortunately I didn’t get my way, as the in-laws wanted him to attend a particular school.

Things to look out for in schools:

Your kid will be beginning a new chapter in his or her life and the school you choose now will make an impact on his or her personality, so look out for these things before filling the forms. Check out for – (a) teacher-student ratio: it should be in the range of 20-25 students to 1 teacher and one ayah in the class, (b) education system the school follows: whether it is CBSE, ICSE or IB. (c) school’s status: whether it is up to higher secondary level or is it senior secondary level or is it just a primary school, (d) transportation: another thing you need to keep in mind, as most schools don’t have buses for nursery level kids. It happened with us – my son travelled in a school bus till he was in nursery and then suddenly before his summer vacations we got a notice from his school saying that school buses will be discontinued after the holidays and parents are requested to make necessary arrangements. Hence do check out for these points, especially the (a) and (c) points because less number of students per class means more attention to each child, and schools with senior secondary level means you don’t have to change schools on your kid’s graduating from from primary school to junior one.

Talk to other parents:

We all are social animals and talking often solves many problems, eases our worries and clears our niggling doubts if any. So talk as much as you can with other parents who have been through this before. Listen to and learn from their struggles and the mistakes (if any) they made so that they you may avoid them. Talk to other parents about the school’s homework policy, teacher-student ratio, transportation and any other thing you may feel is vital for your kid.

Talk to teachers:

Speak to teachers; not necessarily of the schools you chose for your ward but any teacher who will tell you everything you want to know about the school. Yes, teachers from other schools know everything about different schools because they keep meeting and interacting with each other during teachers’ programmes that schools keep organising time to time.

Talk to students:

It may seem awkward but just like when applying for a job in a new company one talks to its employees, so is the case in schools. Students will always give a correct picture of various activities in school, hence don’t hesitate in talking to students.

Fill up more than one form:

Once you have checked all the things and are satisfied about everything, you are ready to fill the forms. Remember to fill more than one form and keep a look out for the dates when the admission list of the school will be out. These days most of the schools update their list on the school website so do keep checking it for the list.

Re-published with permission from the blog of ParentEdge, a bi-monthly parenting magazine that aims to expose parents to global trends in learning and partner with them in the intellectual enrichment of their children. This blog was written by Swati Nitin Gupta who is a journalist with extensive experience in writing for newspapers, tabloids, magazines and online media in India as well as in the Middle East.

What is Sudden Infant Death Syndrome and How To Prevent It

June 11, 2014 By: Bril

Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) is sudden death, of an apparently healthy child, during sleep. The child is usually under the age of one. A diagnosis of SIDS can only be applied after adequate post mortem investigations reveal no other causes.

Thus, it is a diagnosis by elimination. SIDS can be defined as a sudden death during sleep for no apparent reason.The reasons for occurrence of SIDS are still obscure and medical studies are still figuring out the exact cause of SIDS.

Meanwhile, studies have suggested that SIDS can be prevented by observing a few simple rules at home until the child completes 1 year.
Knowing where the risks are can help you to eliminate them and thereby reduce the risk of SIDS by up to 75%. Use these guidelines to help provide a safe sleep environment for your baby.

• Put your baby to sleep on his back:

Contrary to the old wives tale, that putting an infant to sleep on its stomach will ensure proper

sleep, medical evidence now points to the fact that it can lead to SIDS in 3 out of 5 cases.

• Use a firm Mattress with a fitted sheet:

Do not put baby to sleep (even for a nap) on soft surfaces such as water beds, sofa cushions,

sheepskins or sleeping bags:

• Remove all soft things from the crib or the sleep area.

These include fluffy blankets, soft pillows and duvets. The risk with these items is when they

crumple under a baby’s nose and mouth leaving them no space to breathe.

• Keep baby’s face uncovered:

Make sure that baby’s face stays uncovered and that blankets cannot shuffle up during the

night. It is better to use warm sleep wear on a cold day rather than blankets. If you do use a

blanket make sure that you place baby at the foot of the crib (with his feet to the bottom) and the

blanket firmly tucked under the mattress and does not reach higher than the baby’s chest.

• Do not smoke:

Do not smoke during pregnancy and do not allow others to smoke round your baby.

• Sleep near to your baby:

It is suggested that you should keep baby in the parent’s bedroom until 6 months old. It is

usually not indicated or intended that you share a bed with your infant. It is hard to follow the

SIDS prevention rules in an adult bed. The mattress is usually too soft and the pillows provide addition risks.

• If you use a pacifier for sleep or nap times do not reinsert it once the baby is asleep. Try to take it away as soon as the baby sleeps. If the baby wakes up frequently due to this, now is a good time to form a habit of letting her sleep without the pacifier.

• Do not over clothe the baby. Keep only a couple of layers of clothes on her back at the maximum to avoid heating.The room should be at a temperature that is comfortable for an adult. Do not use too many clothes or blankets.

• Make sure everyone knows these prevention tips:

Some of this advice is new (especially back to sleep) and older carers may not know about it.

It is important that everyone who looks after you baby is aware of the steps to keep your baby safe.

Child Discipline: What Really Works?

June 11, 2014 By: Bril

The only things more distasteful than an undisciplined child, is the process of disciplining itself. Some parents start with disciplining at an early stage and some start later, only when the tantrums become too much to bear. The key here is to start early.

It is important that they understand that you are in charge, not them. But this can be a tricky undertaking. Disciplining without hurting a child’s fragile sense of pride is the key here.Spanking a child was considered as an okay thing for parents to do about a couple of decades back. Today, in the light of new medical evidence, spanking is shown to have negative impact on a child’s psyche. Parents are looking for alternative methods of discipline and avoiding the dreaded spanking.

Set the rules early and be consistent:

By the time your baby is 4 years old, you should have already laid down basic rules, no more than 4 or 5. These rules should cater to bigger problems like No hitting, always saying please and thank you, washing hands before eating, etc. Don’t fight smaller battles if you wish to win the bigger ones. The most important part of setting the rules is to stand by them. Go over the rules with your child whenever they break one.

Positive reinforcement:

Praising good behaviour is more likely to beget good behaviour than scolding whenever a rule is broken. This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t scold them when a rule is broken. Just don’t forget to praise the child when a rule is kept by him or her.Saying “no” firmly: Saying a no should always be done firmly. Never use an angry tone, no matter how angry you are at that point in time. Whenever you have to say no to a child, explain why they can’t do or get something that they want. But explain only once. Use a firm tone and stand your ground. The first few times will be difficult, but the message will get across soon.

Giving choices:

Sometimes a child breaks a rule or does something he or she was not supposed to do simply because they can’t think of something else to do or they don’t know another way to do the same thing. Help your child by giving him choices. For example, if you are resting and your child is playing too loudly, tell him you are unable to sleep because of the noise. Then you can give him the choice of sitting with you and reading a book or going to play in their room until you come to get him.

There are many other alternatives; here is a list to take a look at:

* * The Top 10 Tips for Disciplining Toddlers by Clare Albright

* * Positive Discipline For Toddlers and Preschoolers by Meg Berger, M.Ed.

* * Help! I Can’t Control My Four Year-Old and Don’t Want to Resort to Spanking! at http://

Parenthood.com

6 Awesome Parenting Resources Found Online

June 11, 2014 By: Bril

Good parenting is all about trial and error. Nobody is born with all the super mom or super dad skills. All of us want to be the best parent we can be, but we sometimes we may doubt our actions and approaches. After all it is the most precious living being that is in question. Whenever in doubt, consult the internet. This seems to be a norm these days. But where should you go for parenting advice and tips online? There are hundreds of parenting websites. Which ones offer the best parenting resources?

Take a look at these sites for valuable parenting tips.

1.Baby Center, one of the most reliable online resources, has excellent sections on parenting. It is filled with information on parenting issues right from pregnancy to teenage. Particularly useful is their Expert Advice and FAQ’s section, where you can ask questions or look at existing questions asked by parents. These are answered by a panel of paediatricians from the world over. http://www.babycenter.com

2.Raising responsible and aware children is what every caregiver wants for themselves and their children in the long run. But that goal is often lost in fighting the day to day battles of potty training, discipline and many other issues. RIE, founded by Magda Gerber, follows the basic principles of raising infants and children with respect that you would give any adult. Their website www.rie.org is abundant with how to give babies and children more independence and respect.

3.Raising a toddler seems like a cake walk until you have pre-teens and teens to handle. A great online resource for this age group is http://centerforparentingeducation.org. This website offers free online courses on parenting. Now, you may not need their certification, but their methods and advice is definitely worth a shot. Some popular courses include “Setting the stage for discipline that works”, You’re so mean, I hate you! Taming the anger tantrum” and many more. Also worthwhile is browsing through their article library for commonly asked questions.

4.Handy tips and ideas for planning your kids’ birthday parties, tiffin recipes, craft ideas, project assistance and adventure based learning, are available on http://www.pbs.org/parents. The entire PBS network is abundant with parenting resources. Educational videos form a part of their network as well. This is a great resource for all those day to day help that moms need to reference ever so often.

5.Parents, who are either working from home or are employed full time struggle to find a balance between work and home, especially children. www.indiaparenting.com is a forum where you will find articles to help you strike that precarious balance and is also a buzzing forum for parents to actively discuss their issues.

6.And, finally, for those times when you need a lighter moment, there’s http://www.parentinghumor.com, a well written website, dedicated to the lighter side of parenting.
Remember that you’re not alone. All parents need advice sometimes.

There are thousands of parenting resources online. From parenting workshops to parenting forums, there’s a wealth of information available for parents with children of any age.