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Open letter to working mothers stop feeling guilty

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CaptureDear Working Mother,

It is difficult to stay away from your children at work and consistently tell yourself that you are doing your very best for them. But believe it that your children will turn out just fine. Really.

If you are like most working moms you probably don’t feel that way. You may feel that you are constantly struggling to find time for your children and something or the other is always left undone. Be it spending time with your children amid stringent deadlines or living up to promises you made to them. And to top it all, there is your extended family who make demands on your time. Ageing parents, important marriages and of course socializing for your own benefit.

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True Confessions Of A Stay At Home Mother

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Every stay at home mother has a few confessions that she would rather keep to herself. But bring in anonymity and there are some surprising (and funny) revelations! We spoke to some to stay at home mothers to children of varying ages and came up with some gems that will have you smiling, if not rolling with laughter.

So, here goes!

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Parents Need Imagination to Understand Children

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Take a look at this video, and I will explain why we need imagination to understand children. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H_hGQuTjI3U
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Have you seen the video?
If you postponed seeing the video, saying ‘let me read the rest of the stuff first’ you lack the curiosity required to deal with children. Nor do you have the patience. You would like to follow your own rules, not withstanding what is required. You would prefer to see everything through your lens. If you are having trouble understanding children, I won’t be surprised.

If you have seen the video, ask yourself. What would you done if you were the parent of the child in that video? Why?
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Get Set Go……First Pediatrician visit with your child

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12-7-15

The first visit to the pediatrician will come up much sooner than you think. Usually this visit is for one of the vaccinations unless you are taking the baby for any specific check-up.

We all have our inhibitions about the first pediatrician visit with our child, especially if you are a first time mommy. It is normal to brood over your share of fear, questions and inquisitiveness. Here are a few things that will iron out the any hiccups.

Prepare your questions in advance. There will be many questions in your mind so it is best to write them down or memorize them lest you forget about anything.

  • Questions should be pertaining to the baby only
  • Don’t ask too many questions as it is easy to get distracted when one question leads to another.
  • Let the doctor finish answering your 1st question completely before you ask the next one

Be prepared to wait for a while. While most clinics will give you an appointment, it is still possible that you may have to wait with your baby for formalities like getting paperwork filled or allowing for emergency visits at the doctor’s.

  • Have the dad or a grandparent accompany you so you have a helping hand with the baby.
  • Feed the baby before the doctor’s visit unless specified otherwise by the doctor

Preparing the baby. Since the this is the 1st visit, it best to dress the baby simply in clothes that have buttons in the front so that the doctor can have easy access to all parts of the body.

  • Do carry extra sets of diapers and clothes
  • If the baby is bottle fed, carry enough for 2-3 hours. Take the time spent in the commute into consideration as well.
  • Talk to the baby in reassuring voices and offer plenty of cuddling before and after the visit

Prepare the paperwork: Visiting the doctor for the 1st time may feel like you are preparing for a full blown vacation, but remember that it is better to be prepared for any eventuality than not being prepared for it.

  • Carry all paperwork related to the birth, your pregnancy files, medical history and your baby’s discharge papers that have the birth weight or complications during pregnancy.
  • It is best to have the dad or the grandparent prepare the paperwork and submit it to the clinic while you wait with the baby in the car or a waiting room

Inside the clinic. The primary investigation is done by a nurse.

  • She will undress the baby and put her on a weighing scale to measure her weight. If the baby cries during this, speak to her in a calming voice so she knows you are nearby.
  • It is normal for babies to lose weight after delivery but they will gain it right back in the first month itself
  • The nurse will also measure the head circumference and height of the baby.

Meeting the doctor: Every doctor has a different approach when it comes to interacting with the baby and the parents. Some will examine first and then ask questions, others will continue speaking to you while examining.

  • The doctor will check for reflective actions
  • He will also check eyes, nose, ears and limbs for proper functioning. The umbilical cord will also be checked for healing or any signs of infection
  • He will ask you about the baby’s feeding pattern

If everything looks good at this stage, your doctor will educate about the vaccinations which are in order for your baby. He will also give you an immunization scheduler to help you track the vaccinations you have given him.

Questions you may have

  • Feeding schedule and issues with latching on
  • Sleep schedule
  • Vaccinations and shots
  • Stools frequency and consistency
  • How many diapers should be changed?
  • When should I call a doctor incase of fever?
  • Are there any pain or fever medications I can safely give the baby?
  • What is considered as emergency?

Don’t be shy or intimidated about anything else that comes to mind; there is no such thing as a silly question

Should We Bring Old Values Back Into Vogue?

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Bringing old values back in vogue

 

We all do it subconsciously, try to instil habits and values that we learnt as a child into our own children. But how many of those values still hold water in today’s day and age?

When I was a little girl I remember my parents urging me to befriend a lonely, elderly neighbor. But my 8 year old mind refused to believe that an 80 year old could have anything interesting to offer in terms of play. So every week I would knock on her door for conversation and biscuits. After a few weeks, strangely I remember I used to look forward to these visits. She used to talk about her family, childhood and children, and I used quietly sit on a swing in her verandah and listen to her monologue. Sometimes she used to ask what were they teaching us at school these days and ask me to recite a poem or two. She said I had a nice voice, and that encouraged me to offer to sing to her. Looking back, those were happy memories. Perhaps as happy as the times spent in summer vacation with my cousins. [Read more…]

Letters to my Daughter: Be the Queen of your Kingdom. Not the Wife of your King!

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Zeffirra-HuseinZeffirra Husein works with a private equity firm, is married to a workaholic surgeon and is a mother to a beautiful girl. Her days are crazy, juggling between work, home, her darling daughter, family and friends. Zeffirra believes in not dwelling on the past and not worrying about the future. Instead, she focuses on her present which is truly a ‘present’ from above. Zeffirra created an email ID for her daughter on the latter’s birth and has been writing regularly to her about their lives and about the things she wants her daughter to know about. In her blogs for ParentEdge, Zeffirra will share her ‘present’ in the form of her letters to her daughter. Zeffirra’s personal blog can be accessed at http://iheartmypresent.blogspot.in/ [Read more…]

Motherhood in all its Glory – An account by a first time Mother

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Motherhood in all it's glory

 

Ever since my childhood, I had no desire to be near children, let alone bear a child one day. Growing up, I was the youngest and never had to deal with any children in my own family, unless we had visitors who brought their children along. And then too, my interaction with them were punctuated with awkward pauses. [Read more…]

How to manage a working pregnancy

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How to manage a working pregnancy

Ever heard stories about women who worked till the last day of their pregnancy? Then highly likely you have heard of women who couldn’t even manage to get out of bed most days, leave alone, get ready and work through the day.

Most women, who do not suffer from sickness and nausea can and do work through their pregnancy. If you plan on working through your pregnancy, we have a list that will help you along the way! [Read more…]

Be Monsoon Ready With These Fantastic Games For Kids

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14-6-15My 3 year old daughter watches the rains lashing down on the verandah, singing softly to herself “Rain rain go away,come again another day, little Sofia wants to play”. I realized that she was sad that she couldn’t go out and play at her usual time. But at least I knew how to arrange indoor and outdoor games so she would learn to enjoy monsoons just like we did in our times! So here’s a little something from a mumma’s list of games for a rainy day. 

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Parent Teacher Meetings and How to Get the Most Out Of It

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7-6-15

Many of us look at Parent Teacher Meetings (PTM) as a window into our child’s academic life. There is your chance to understand your child’s strong areas and developmental areas, from the teachers. But if you want, with a little bit of planning, it could be much more rewarding for you and your child.

We put together a checklist for you that will make PTMs more fruitful for you and your child.

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