Education Abroad: Some important issues

May 27, 2016 By: Bril

The number of Indian students choosing to pursue higher education abroad has seen an upward trend in recent years. Our student community is beginning to gravitate more and more towards foreign universities than our own.

The decision does not come entirely as a surprise when you consider not one Indian university ranks among the top 200 universities in the world. What ails Indian education system and in which areas do foreign universities score over their Indian counterparts?

Our education system mainly suffers from:

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Introducing Your Child to Karma Yoga and the Concept of Nishkama Karma

May 25, 2016 By: Bril

Introducing Your Child to Karma Yoga and the Concept of Nishkama Karma:

By Jayaram Rajaram

This post is for the parent only and must be used to guide children so they lead contented, healthy and happy lives.

The Bhagavad Gita has inspired millions of people for thousands of years and its teachings are timeless and relevant even today. A primary teaching by Lord Krishna to Arjuna on the battle field is the importance of Karma Yoga and Nishkama Karma. The meaning of Nishkama Karma is to do ones duty without worrying about the results. Arjuna (Representing the Pandavas) had to fight the Kauravas who were his own cousins. While he felt emotional, Krishna who was Arjuna’s charioteer cleared his doubts by saying, fighting bad people had to be done to protect good people. So, Arjuna felt relieved that fighting was his duty at that point and he had to do it to protect Dharma or righteousness.

Now several children are committing suicide because they do not get good marks. This is very sad and parents and teachers are sometimes largely to blame for this sad state of affairs. As parents it is our duty to tell our children that it is their duty to study to learn. We have to reassure them that no matter what the outcome or results are, we will love our children. Whenever children study, emphasize the importance of learning rather than focussing on the outcome. If the child is merely by hearting things, step in and help him/ her understand concepts logically wherever possible.

Similarly ask your children what problem in the world they wish to solve when they grow up? Two or three generations have been spoilt and have become unhappy because they have been asked what they want to become and the narrative has been ambition based rather than duty based. Ambition and desire are the root causes of unhappiness as per Sanatana Dharma. Many people believe lack of ambition is laziness. Nishkama Karma and Karma Yoga is all about action for the benefit and well-being of the world (All benefit that comes to an individual is merely a by-product of action that is done without hankering after rewards and recognition). Today even many doctors and hospitals focus more on how much they can earn rather than patient care. At least the next generation should start focusing on how they can help others by acting in the right way and spirit.

Tell children that duty for the sake of duty, no matter what job they take up, will keep them happy. Giving everything in life their best shot and not worrying about the outcome is the best way to nurture a stable, happy, peaceful and contented future generation.

This is a tough task, but this is must be the highest priority among parents if we are not to repeat the mistakes made by the west. Modern examples of Karma Yogis are Dr. A.P.J Abdul Kalam and E Sreedharan (Delhi Metro).

You could ask your children the following questions:

What problem will you solve when you grow up?

If your child is younger, just ask them what they will do when they grow up and accept all answers while guiding them without putting too much emphasis on duty as their level of understanding may be limited till the age of 8. But use the word duty when they mess a room and make them put back their toys after they play etc.

Who will the work you do when you grow up help?

What is your duty as a kid?

Answer to this should be: Learn to the best of your ability (and don’t worry about marks), Be Good, Do Good, Be Happy

Do you know who the greatest and best people are?

Allow your child to answer and then emphasize that the best and greatest people in the world are those who help others by doing their duties wholeheartedly. So explain that even their grandmother / great grandmother are great for their selfless service to their families even if they never worked outside the home (This will remove money from the equation and recognize service and duty as something that is recognized and important). This way as parents we have to get it into the child’s subconscious that duty-bound action is better than ambition-based action and people with big bank balances, famous people and actors aren’t the real role models, unless of course they are good people who help others (Then they are worth emulating, provided they have all-round values worth emulating). Basically this will help your child treat everyone equally and understand that duties and rights are two sides of the same coin while slowly realizing that making money and becoming famous as a by-product is better than gunning only for riches and fame at any cost. They will also start understanding that an entitlement mindset* and fighting for rights without doing their duty is a sure-shot way to self-destruction and unhappiness.

*Children who grow up thinking the whole world owes it to them have very difficult lives.

Note: This has to be done carefully, as we should not paint a picture that money and rich people are bad, because this is not true at all. Nishkama Karma is about doing your duty well and not hankering after rewards. If you are an IT professional, by virtue of being in a job one must give it his / her 100% during office hours, go back home and play the role of a father/mother, husband/wife 100%. If a person is an entrepreneur he/she must work towards solving their customers’ problems and helping their employees and shareholders improve their lives (As a byproduct of this dedication to his / her duty the entrepreneur’s life improves, but that should not be the primary goal if one wants contentment and peace of mind). So Nishkama Karma and Karma Yoga is a shift in attitude and thought process which will definitely help anyone no matter what their background, ethnicity, nationality is, live a more balanced, happy, healthy, peaceful and fulfilled life.

Bring in the importance of dignity of labour by asking them to thank the bus driver / auto driver / maid for the service and help they render.

Build on this and as a parent keep course correcting based on the situation so your child knows what is expected of him / her.

Most importantly start practicing Karma Yoga and live the Nishkama Karma philosophy yourself (It is a liberating experience and definitely worth the effort). Also, our kids learn by watching us, so we have no choice but to live the life we want our children to learn and emulate!

Image Credits: www.blog.onlineprasad.com

4 Activities Children Can Do Until School Re-opens

May 24, 2016 By: Bril

Summer holidays are drawing to a close. All good things in life must come to an end and so must this. Come June and it is time to go back to school.

Hope you enjoyed every moment of your holidays. What is left of your summer holidays can be put to good use by taking a moment to reflect on the highlights of the summer holidays and also by planning for the year ahead.

Moment for reflection: Were you able to do all the activities you had planned during the vacation? What was the best moment of your holidays and what was the not so good moment? You have been probably lazing about quite a bit in the summer holidays, which is perfectly fine because you have earned it by working hard all year.

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Kindness, Love and Humility Always Beat Pride and Arrogance

May 21, 2016 By: Bril

Kindness and Humility Always Beat Pride and Arrogance

By Jayaram Rajaram

Narrate the following story to your child:

Kubera, the God of wealth went to to Lord Shiva and Parvati in Mt Kailash to show off his wealth to them. He invited Shiva and Parvati for a meal so he could show off all that he had. Since Shiva and Parvati were busy, they offered to send Ganesha for the meal. Shiva warned Kubera that Ganesha ate a lot. But Kubera haughtily and in an arrogant tone said “Let him eat as much as he wants!”.

When Ganesha started eating, he ate and ate and ate till he ate up all the food. He then ate the furniture and Kubera’s palace and was still hungry. Kubera realized his foolishness and ran to Shiva and begged for his forgiveness. Kubera promised never to be so haughty and arrogant again. Pleased with Kubera’s realization, Shiva gave him a fistful of rice and asked him to give it to Ganesha. When Kubera gavve Ganesha the fistful of rice with love and humility Ganesha was satisfied and returned all his wealth to Kubera.

Ask your child: Are people important or things/toys?

If your child says “Toys”, ask him /her “Who gives you the toys?”

Your child will invariably say people. Then ask again -“So are people important or toys?”

Ask your child: Is showing off good?

Do your friends show off?

Do you like it when they show off?

You show off too sometimes.

Will Umachi / Bhagwan (God) like it if you show off?

Do you want to make the same mistake Kubera made?

What will happen if you show off?

Always share with your friends and be kind, or like Kubera you will lose friends and all your good things/toys.

Tell them: If you do good, you get good. If you do bad, you get bad. This is the rule of the universe and it is called Karma! Ask your child to repeat after you.

Image Credits: www.enjoyfestivals.com

The Importance of Women and How To Teach Your Son to Treat Them Well

May 20, 2016 By: Bril

The Importance of Women and How To Teach Your Son to Treat Them Well:

By Jayaram Rajaram

This is a very important story to narrate to children, especially to young boys:

A princess Savitri fell in love with a poor man called Satyavan. When Narada Muni (Saint) found out, he warned her that Satyavan had a short life and that he would die at an early age. Savitri said since she loved Satyavan very much, she would still get married to him. They tied the knot and after a few years as predicted by Narada Muni, Satyavan fell ill and died. On the day of Satyavan’s death, Savitri saw Lord Yama (The God of Death) himself and pleaded to him to give her her husband back and not take him away. Yama unmoved said nobody could stop death and carried on.

Savitri, without giving up easily, followed Yama for miles and miles. Yama, impressed with her determination and perseverance gave her two boons. He said, “Ask for any two things other than the life of your husband and I shall grant them to you.”. Savitri thought for a bit and asked 1. For the well-being of her father-in-law (Satyavan’s father), and 2. 100 sons! Yama said ‘so be it’ without giving it much thought. No sooner had he done so the clever Savitri said, “how can I have any sons without my husband?”. Yama conceded defeat and returned Savitri’s husband to her.

Ask your child what they understood from this story? Accept all answers as there are no absolute right or wrong answers, but correct them in case they say anything totally wrong by using your discretion.

You Ask: Do you know that women are very strong?

Your son may say, no boys are stronger.

You say: Do you think Savitri was weak? She even helped her husband come back from the God of death! Is that not strength? We call this Shakthi or mental power in India.

Also, boys may be physically stronger than some girls, but really strong boys are the ones who never hit or hurt anyone. Boys who hit and hurt girls are actually the weakest because those who hurt people and especially girls have no friends and are not liked by anyone.

You Ask:

Where did you come from?

How would life be without your mother?

Who prays for your well-being every single day?

Who do you go to when you feel sad?

Wouldn’t it be good if you can be good friends with boys and girls?

Do you know you can pray to Durga Ma to destroy your fear when you are scared? Durga and Kaali are women, but super strong! They protect us.

This story can also be used effectively with your daughters to teach them that strength is not merely physical and that Love and being kind is a woman (girl’s) biggest gift. Teach them that boys and girls are on the same team and can work together to achieve anything they wish for.

Note to Parent: Let’s nurture a generation where women Love for their rights and men fight for women’s rights whenever there is discrimination in mundane material/household matters, but without the compulsion where women feel the need to do everything men do and make men do everything they do, to prove their worth (Neither women nor men need not prove their worth and must be free to pursue anything they wish to for their personal satisfaction but in a manner that impacts their family, society, country and world at large positively rather than negatively). Equality today has become merely for materialistic things, but In India we worship the feminine as it is every man’s duty and responsibility to balance the feminine energy in his body through Yoga, Pranayama and meditation (Crimes against women and rapes can be greatly reduced if only our education system embraces traditional yoga and meditation daily from the age of 8 for all children. Even if your child’s school doesn’t offer it, I recommend all parents to enrol their child -son or daughter in a good yoga program with a proper Guru). All good and beautiful things like creativity, intuition and aesthetics are feminine and yoga and the finer aspects of life nurture this energy. All human beings have masculine and feminine energy within and balancing these energies leads to harmonious coexistence has been the belief in Sanatana Dharma for eons (Masculine and feminine are subtle energies and are very different from male and female in the gross physical sense). Somewhere along the way we forgot the essence of worshipping the feminine and made it just another ritual. One of the most powerful mantras in the world is the Gayatri Mantra and that mantra brings about a feeling of contentment and inner peace as it harmonizes these subtle energies within.

Image Credits: hinduism.about.com

Parents Are Our First Gods

May 19, 2016 By: Bril

Parents Are Our First Gods:

By Jayaram Rajaram

Narrate the following story to your child:

Lord Shiva and his beloved wife Parvati were sitting in their celestial home Mt. Kailash with their children Ganesha (The elephant God) and Murugan (Karthikeya). Lord Shiva decided to test his children and told them that the person who goes around the universe 3 times and comes back first will be the winner of the day’s competition.

Murugan immediately whizzed away on his peackock (Murugan’s personal vahana) , while Ganesha sat happily eating laddoos and modhakas (Kozhakattais or white dumplings with sweet coconut filling). When Shiva asked Ganesha, why he hadn’t started on his meek vahana the mouse (Rat)? Ganesha slowly finished eating his favourite goodies and walked three times around Shiva and Parvati.

After walking around his parents, Ganesha bows down, prostrates and tells Shiva and Parvati that his parents are his universe. Shiva is mighty pleased with Ganesha’s intelligence, wit and knowledge and hugs him. Murugan comes back to find Ganesha happily sitting there. He wonders allowed how Ganesha’s mouse could have gone around the Universe faster than his peacock? Shiva explains to Murugan what Ganesha had done and declares him the winner and as an award, grants a boon to Ganesha that he will be the remover of all obstacles for anyone who prays to him. Hence people in India pray to Ganesha first for success of any task and even before any Puja.

Now tell your children that your parents are your universe and mean the world to you because without them you (the parent) will not be here. The very reason for our existence is our parents.

Ask them how would they feel if they were alone in this world without Amma (Mom) and Appa (Dad)? Tell them many children live in orphanages without their parents and that we can visit them and play with them sometime. Take your child to these orphanages once in a while to make them feel grateful for what they have.

Merely telling our kids this is not enough and as parents we must live this truth by caring for both (yours and your spouse’s) our elderly parents (if they are still around) daily. Your kids learn more by watching you rather than listening to you.

Tell them that in India there is a lofty saying: ‘Mata, Pita, Guru, Deivam, indicating the importance of ones parents, teacher and God’.

Note:

While you should not ask your children to respect you, you can tell them that you set the rules and are often strict with them so they grow up to be good human beings. Parent by example and communicate regularly by referring to the Ganesha story above.

We must do our parenting duty and serve our own parents well without expecting our kids to take care of us in our old age. Parenting and life is all about giving and duty for the sake of duty. What we get is merely a byproduct of what we give and this is the Nishkama Karma philosophy in the Bhagavad Gita.

As per Indian parenting styles and even Chanakya’s advise we must love our children and spend as much time with our child from 0-5 years, be strict and teach them right from wrong between 5 years and 16 years and then be their friend after that. There is a lot of wisdom in age old Indian traditions and philosophy that we must take advantage of.

Image Credits: tonmoygoswami.com

Simple Self Awareness and Self-Discipline Techniques for Kids Using Indian Mythology and Itihasas

May 19, 2016 By: Bril

Simple Self Awareness and Self-Discipline Techniques for Kids Using Indian Mythology and Itihasas:

By Jayaram Rajaram

Narrate the following to your child:

Ravana was a very powerful man who prayed hard to Lord Shiva for many powers. Lord Shiva made him very powerful. When Ravana saw Sita in the forest, he liked her a lot, so he used his powers to convince his uncle Maricha to become a deer, made her chase him and then kidnapped her.

Ask your child: Is this the right thing to do?

Ravana kidnapped her and took her away to Lanka and told her to marry him. Sita refused as she loved Lord Ram very much. Lord Ram (Rama) was very sad to find Sita missing when he got back to his hut in the forest.

Rama vowed to get Sita back safe and started his search for Sita with the help of his brother Lakshmana, Hanuman (Monkey God) and his monkey God friends. With their help Rama travelled to Lanka and killed Ravana even though Ravana had several powers.

Tell your child:

Ravana = Rakshasa, Bad, Anger, Lies, Stealing, Hurting People, Hurting Woman

Rama = God, Good, Truth, Dharma (Righteousness), Friendly, Caring, Peaceful, Healthy, Happy

Do you know God is hiding inside every human being and every creature?

If you breathe deep while closing your eyes how do you feel? (Chant Om if you wish while your child does this). Introduction to mindfulness and meditation helps children relieve anxiety, stress and brings about clarity of thought, focus and expanded awareness / Creativity )

Do you know what happens when you get angry?

Tell your child that Ravana and his ten heads start growing inside. Ask the child how he / she feels when angry and screaming / throwing a tantrum.

Tell your child that every time they do something bad Ravana grows in them and this can make them feel very bad and cause bad things to happen to their body.

Explain the concept of Karma simply : If you do good , you get good. If you do bad, you get bad.

Then when they do something wrong like get angry/ tell a lie, tell them that they need to bring out Rama who is hiding in them to kill Ravana, by saying sorry and closing their eyes and praying / meditating.

Make this a ritual and these simple techniques can help you teach your child good manners using Indian mythology / Itihasas. It also helps you teach them basic concepts of Sanatana Dharma and that God resides in all beings and everyone must be treated kindly.

Only a very small portion of Ramayana is used in this post. You are advised to narrate or read the Ramayana in its entirety to your child.

You may use any God and Demon combination and story to help your child become self-aware and self-discipline himself / herself. Eg. Vishnu in Narasimha Avatar God and Hiranyakashipu Demon

Note: Dharma (Appropriate and correct way of conduct) and Karma are Indian concepts that have ensured harmonious coexistence of diverse religions peacefully for thousands of years.

Image Credits: ritsin.com

Making Mother’s Day Celebrations More Meaningful

May 7, 2016 By: Bril

Who goes through 9 months of intense physical discomfort, who stakes her own life to bring you into this world, who spends the best part of her life looking after you, who always gives you unconditional love, who starves, if necessary, so you can eat, who defends you with her life.

One could go on and on, but the series of queries above are clearly no-brainers. They are not questions, but a series of statements meant to remind ourselves to be grateful for the presence of the most special person in our lives – the very reason for our existence.

All great people in the world have one thing in common – a mother who believed in them, who encouraged them, who made them believe they were special in a way only mothers are capable of.

“All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.”

– Abraham Lincoln, American President

Our mother is our best friend, our first teacher, our constant guide, our most dependable confidante. Mothers are the only ones we can trust with our life.

Well, all of us have been recipients of her boundless love and kindness. But, have we returned the love and shown our gratitude for the privilege enough?

We all have, in our own little ways, for sure. Mind you, she never expects anything in return.

But, surely we could do a whole lot better than ringing her up on Mother’s day and wishing her.

No matter how old or young you are, you are still a child to your mother. So let us make a few pledges to ourselves on the Mother’s Day this year, and never let go of them.

Make a pledge to help her with household chores: Ignore her protests and take on some of the more labour intensive chores at home.
Make sure you call her as often as you can: This goes a long way in alleviating her anxiety, if you are living away from home and it also helps her sleep better.
Get rid of an annoying habit: If you have been unsuccessfully trying to stop doing something your mother does not approve of, go ahead and do it now.
Take her out often: Anyone familiar with household work will tell you what a challenging task it is to think of a dish to prepare, 7 days a week. She’d welcome it!
Help her to preserve the precious memories: Round up every bit of memorabilia, photos, videos of your family life, catalogue them and take measures to preserve them. Nothing is more dearer to her.
Fulfill a wish of hers: Every person has a wish of a lifetime – and mothers are no different – which they are unable to fulfill without others’ help. It could be as simple as some place they have always wanted to visit or something more simple and basic.

We can never pay our debts to our mothers. Remember, there is only one of her in everyone’s life! At the very least, let us take a pledge to never hurt her by our words or deeds – probably the only thing every mother expects from her children.

Raising children with positive attitude

April 24, 2016 By: Bril

Parenting, as most of us have had the occasion to find out, is a thankless job. When our kids do well, the world praises them for their achievement. And when they behave badly, well, it is the parents – especially mothers – who get to bear the brunt of criticism.

Kind of makes sense why our mothers tended to be on tenterhooks at social gatherings we were taken to. Kids tend to be a little too gregarious at times and end up being a little too obnoxious and ill-disciplined for the standards set by mothers. While dad soon got engrossed in a conversation on sports or politics, it was left to mother to keep her flock in check.

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Advantages of home cooked food

April 17, 2016 By: Bril

How often do you get the urge to eat out? Saturday evenings and Sunday mornings are the most likely candidates. The former because we feel we deserve it for all the hardwork we put in during the week. The latter is a result of a feeling that we are also entitled for a break from the household chores at least once a week. Well, you are justified on both counts.

If you are a single working professional, then chances are that you either depend on a food vendor in your neighbourhood in the afternoons and settle for a home-delivery from a fastfood joint in the evenings.

However, it is essential to know about the harmful effects of eating out on a daily basis. Outside food tends to have the following disadvantages:

Use of inferior quality ingredients and left-overs.
Use of additives and preservatives.
Over-priced as they pass on the overheads to the customer.
Food is repeatedly cooked robbing it of its nutritional value.
The most important, however is hygiene or the lack of it with restaurant food.

The advantages of home-cooking are many and we will look at some of them in an effort to encourage you to try your hands at home cooking.

Hygiene: With home-cooking, you are in-charge of quality and that is one less thing to worry about.
Freshness: Get fresh ingredients on the way home. Cook just about enough food for your needs. Never buy a large fridge as it tempts you to cook more food for later use.
Nutrition: Your well-being depends on what shape you are in physically. Home cooking allows you ensure that you eat a well-balanced diet.
Finances: There is never enough of this precious stuff. Home cooking allows you to start saving money and teaches you the importance of money management.
Hobby: Cooking is a great way to unwind after a hard day’s work. You will find that it is also a great way to make friends with like-minded people in the community.
Life skill: Cooking is an important skill that is often overlooked. But it can come in handy when you are on your own in an alien place.

It is essential to point out at this stage that the aim of this article is not to suggest all outside food is of inferior quality, but to point out the advantages of home-cooked food. There are enough honest and hardworking people out there who serve delicious and hygienic food.

Finally, home-cooking as an activity is priceless. It helps to strengthen family bonds and has something to offer to everyone. It is an activity that involves more than just cooking food.

If you are a professional and single, just pick up the phone and call your mother or a favourite aunt to consult about a recipe. Any excuse to get in touch with family is a good excuse.
If you are a married man, there is no better way to express your love for your wife by helping her out in the kitchen.
If you are a married woman, there is no better way to spend some quality time with your husband.
If you have kids, there is no better way to instill discipline in them by pointing out the virtues of home-cooked food and its superiority over junk food.